- Action802
- Adventure707
- Comedy2413
- Western50
- Drama2433
- History154
- War81
- Crime810
- Thriller704
- Horror262
- Sci-Fi719
- Romance334
- Biography67
- Mystery632
- Documentary280
- Music102
- Fantasy604
- Animation965
- Family720
- Sport83
- Musical52
- Short76
- News11
- Action5560
- Adventure3451
- Comedy10732
- Western835
- Drama15671
- History1194
- War1287
- Crime4122
- Thriller8080
- Horror5491
- Sci-Fi2898
- Romance5078
- Biography1481
- Mystery2570
- Documentary3532
- Music1326
- Fantasy2369
- Animation2099
- Family3149
- Sport877
- Musical878
- Film-Noir203
- Short1263
- Game-Show7
- Reality-TV110
- News120
- Adult78
- Talk-Show37
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Season 1
6 episodes
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Season 2
12 episodes
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Season 3
12 episodes
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Season 4
12 episodes
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Season 5
8 episodes
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Season 6
15 episodes
1Marionettes, Inc.
21 May 1985
Description ▼The suburban computer salesman Braling has a dull life with his talkative and needy wife Mrs. Braling. When every computer that he touches pops a message from a company called Marionette Inc. with his personal data, he decides to visit the company to see what is happening. Braling meets Fantoccini, the representative of Marionette Inc., which shows him a replica of Braling commanded by remote control. Fantoccini charges the savings of Braling paid in installments; in return, the android would live his dull life with his wife. A couple of days later, a different Braling meets his friend Crane and tells how his life changed after the meeting with Fantoccini.
2The Playground
04 Jun 1985
Description ▼Charles Underhill lives in the suburb with his wife and their five year-old son Steve, but he does not allow Steve to go to play in the nearby playground with other children. Charles has a childhood trauma with the bully Ralph and his friends, and he frequently sees his ghost challenging him, until the day he decides to go to the playground with Steve and face the wounds of his past.
3The Crowd
02 Jul 1985
Description ▼After leaving a party late night, Joe Spelliner drives high speed through the empty streets and has a car accident. A couple of seconds later, he is surrounded by a crowd until an ambulance arrives with the paramedic at 2:00 AM. Twenty-four hours later he is discharged by the hospital and he is intrigued from where that crowd arrived. He meets his friend and colleague Morgan to celebrate and they witness another car accident. In twenty-one seconds, the victim is surrounded by a crowd and Joe recognizes many of the persons from his own accident. Joe asks Morgan to retrieve surveillance tapes of car accidents and he discloses that the same persons are present in the other accidents; further, all of them are victims of car accidents. Morgan asks Joe to forget the discovery, but the reluctant friend wishes to investigate further with tragic consequences.
5The Screaming Woman
22 Feb 1986
Description ▼Heather Leary lives in the suburb and loves to read Tales from the Crypt. While walking through the woods near to her house, she hears a woman screaming underground. She tells her parents but they believe it is just her imagination. Heather sneaks out of her room in the middle of the night and discloses the secret about the scream.
6Banshee
22 Feb 1986
Description ▼The American screenplay writer Douglas Rogers travels by taxi to the old manor of Director John Hampton in the Dublin countryside to show him his last work. He discovers in John an extravagant man with a peculiar sense of humor. When they hear a moaning in the woods, John tells Douglas that it is a Banshee ("a female spirit in Gaelic folklore believed to presage, by wailing, a death in a family") wandering in the woods and challenges the writer to meet her. Douglas believes it is a prank and meets a weird woman that claims that she is there for William, but pointing to John inside the house. Douglas tells the writer about his meeting with the Banshee and the director believes it is a joke and leaves the mansion to find the woman and his fate.
1The Fruit at the Bottom of the Bowl
23 Jan 1988
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
2Skeleton
06 Feb 1988
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
3The Emissary
13 Feb 1988
Description ▼Martin is a lonely boy confined to bed because of his illness. His only contact with the outside world is through his loyal dog that brings flowers and objects from the streets to him. When his mother questions the actions of his dog, Martin decides to prove his efficiency to his mother and asks the animal to find a friend for him. The dog brings Miss Haight, Martin's teacher if the boy could go to the school, and she becomes his friend, visiting him every day. One day, Martin is informed by his parents that Miss Haight died in a car crash; after her funeral, his dog goes to the cemetery to bring her back.
4Gotcha!
20 Feb 1988
Description ▼At a masquerade party, a lonely man dressed as comedian Oliver Hardy is about to leave, when he meets a woman costumed as Hardy's comic partner Stan Laurel ! Captivated with each other, they run off into the night. They stay in love and in their fantasy, until the man muses if this dream can last ? The woman suggests they see, by playing a game she calls Gotcha !
5The Man Upstairs
05 Mar 1988
Description ▼In Paris, the weird traveler Mr. Koberman stays in a small pension nearby the Seine River owned by the grandmother of the boy Douglas. Mr. Koberman's strange habits and his aversion to silver cause Douglas to be suspicious that he is a vampire. One morning, when the student Miss Treadwell does not return to the inn, Douglas spies the guest and concludes that he is a vampire with tragic consequences.
6The Small Assassin
09 Apr 1988
Description ▼Alice delivers an unwanted child and Doctor Jeffers is apprehensive with the situation. He has a private conversation with her husband David, but he says that Alice will get used to the baby. When the family moves to their manor, Alice is scared, telling them that the baby wants to kill her. She swears that she is not being paranoid and asks David to protect her. Furthermore, she says that the baby never cries in his presence, and David says that babies do not do things like that. When Doctor Jeffers pays a visit to the family, he has a dreadful surprise.
7Punishment Without Crime
16 Apr 1988
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
8On the Orient, North
29 Apr 1988
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
9The Coffin
07 May 1988
Description ▼When the exotic millionaire Charles Braling (a.k.a. Robot Man) takes all his savings to his manor and builds a glassed coffin, his greedy brother Richard Braling mocks him. Charles dies and in the will, Richard may have the mansion and all his savings if he finds where it is hidden. Richard finds the money in the coffin but it's not as easy as it first seemed.
10Tyrannosaurus Rex
14 May 1988
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
11There Was an Old Woman
21 May 1988
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
12And So Died Riabouchinska
28 May 1988
Description ▼John Fabian and his famous ventriloquist dummy Riabouchinska perform at the Champs Elyssse, and are the primary suspects when a man turns up murdered. John soon discovers that Riabouchinska has her own take on the murder and who is responsible.
1The Dwarf
07 Jul 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
2A Miracle of Rare Device
14 Jul 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
3The Lake
21 Jul 1989
Description ▼Douglas is an artist who returns to his childhood home with his new wife, Margaret. She wants to see the lake, unaware that Douglas' childhood sweetheart Tally drowned and the artist believes he was responsible because he was afraid of the water. As children, he remembers that Tally promised she would return if he finished the sand castle they were building.
4The Wind
28 Jul 1989
Description ▼Meteorologist John Colt travels to the Valley of the Winds in Tibet and finds the place where the winds gather to plan their destruction. When the winds realize he knows too much, they come after him in his home and seek to absorb him and add their voice to those of all the others they have killed.
5The Pedestrian
04 Aug 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
6A Sound of Thunder
11 Aug 1989
Description ▼In the future, a time travel agency offers "The Time Safari", where clients may kill dinosaurs, specifically selected by the team, in order to not change the environment and consequently past. During one expedition, the traveler becomes scared and leaves the protective path, with catastrophic results.
7The Wonderful Death of Dudley Stone
18 Aug 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
8The Haunting of the New
15 Sep 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
9To the Chicago Abyss
22 Sep 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
10Hail and Farewell
30 Sep 1989
Description ▼Willie, a 12-year-old boy, discovers that he can't grow up. For 40 years he puts his strange nature to use by becoming a son to couples who have lost their children. As he prepares to move on once more, Willie tells his story to his newest parents.
11The Veldt
10 Nov 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
12Boys! Raise Giant Mushrooms in Your Cellar!
17 Nov 1989
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
1Mars Is Heaven
20 Jul 1990
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
2The Murderer
27 Jul 1990
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
3Touched with Fire
03 Aug 1990
Description ▼Mr. Foxe and Mr. Shaw, two retired insurance salesman, take up a new hobby. They have discovered that murders most commonly occur at 101 degrees, and to people who are exceedingly aggravating. They track down a woman, Mrs. Shrike, who they believe is the next person to be murdered because of her irritating ways.
4The Black Ferris
10 Aug 1990
Description ▼Two boys, Hank and Peter, learn that a traveling carnival owner, Mr. Cooger, is using an enchanted Ferris wheel to turn himself into a small child so he can infiltrate the house of a local widow and steal her jewelry. However, the boys soon discover that no one believes them.
5Usher II
17 Aug 1990
Description ▼Twenty years after the government has banned all fantasy novels, Stendahl seeks revenge by building an enormous castle populated by androids and based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe. When the government censor, Garrett, comes to inform him it will be burned to the ground. Stendahl kills Garrett and replaces him with an android to lure the other members of the government censor committee to his castle and destroy them in a suitable manner.
6Touch of Petulance
12 Oct 1990
Description ▼Jonathan Hughes is traveling on the train from work, when he meets a man reading a paper from the future, with an article saying that Hughes will kill his wife. The man admits that he is Hughes' future self, come back to stop Hughes from murdering his wife sometime in his future. The older Jonathan goes home with his younger self to try to figure out what went wrong and stop it.
7And the Moon Be Still as Bright
19 Oct 1990
Description ▼The third Martian expedition arrives to discover that the Martians have been wiped out by a plague of chicken pox spread by one of the previous expeditions. The expedition's archaeologist, Spender, becomes obsessed with the extinct Martians and their lost civilization, and turns against his comrades to stop them from despoiling the planet.
8The Toynbee Convector
26 Oct 1990
Description ▼When Earth is threatened with overpopulation and pollution, architect Craig Bennett Stiles built a time machine and traveled 100 years into the future. He then returned to the present with a vision of hope, of humanity united together. Now reporter Roger Shumway comes to him for an interview as the world prepares to celebrate the past Stiles' arrival, but Stiles has a secret to reveal.
9Exorcism
02 Nov 1990
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
10The Day It Rained Forever
09 Nov 1990
Description ▼Three men, Mr. Terle, Mr. Smith, and Mr. Fremley, are the only residents of a desert hotel stricken by years of drought. When the one time of the year it ever rains passes without occasion, all looks hopeless. But an elderly music teacher seeking a receptive audience arrives and promises hope.
11The Long Years
16 Nov 1990
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
12Here There Be Tygers
30 Nov 1990
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
1The Earthmen
03 Jan 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
2Zero Hour
10 Jan 1992
Description ▼Eight-year-old Mink plays a new game with the other children in the neighborhood; Invasion. It involves putting together odd devices from kitchen utensils and working out mathematical formulas. When Mink's mother Mary takes an interest, she soon realizes that there may be something more sinister going on then a mere children's game...
3The Jar
17 Jan 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
4Colonel Stonesteel and the Desperate Empties
24 Jan 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
5The Concrete Mixer
31 Jan 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
6The Utterly Perfect Murder
07 Feb 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
7Let's Play Poison
14 Feb 1992
Description ▼Mr. Howard witnesses the death of a favorite student because of bullying. He retired but is called back as a substitute teacher. Howard informs his new class that he considers them devils and will treat them accordingly, and they plan a chilling revenge around a game called Poison.
8The Martian
21 Feb 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
1The Lonely One
10 Jul 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
2The Happiness Machine
17 Jul 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
3Tomorrow's Child
14 Aug 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
4The Anthem Sprinters
21 Aug 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
5By the Numbers
11 Sep 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
6The Long Rain
19 Sep 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
7The Dead Man
26 Sep 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
8Sun and Shadow
03 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
9Silent Towns
10 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
10Downwind from Gettysburg
17 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
11Some Live Like Lazarus
24 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
12The Handler
27 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
13Fee Fie Foe Fum
28 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
14Great Wide World Over There
29 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
15The Tombstone
30 Oct 1992
Description ▼Jimmy Fallon arrives to host the Emmys in a tiny tiny Smart car. He's carrying his tux and runs into the Glee folk out front. They tell him they can't afford to go to the Emmys and an intro premise is born. They'll put on a fundraiser. They run into Tina Fey. She's in!They run into Kate Gosselin. Awkward pause. They tell her they've got too many people - and then go for more people. They run into Jon Hamm practicing his dance moves with his instructor - Betty White. Then Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from Glee) gives them a slushie in the face -- and wants in.Walk down the hall to Springsteen's "Born to Run" with Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost), Joel McHale and company singing. Tim Gunn arrives to put on the finishing touches.They take the stage in "Glee" red and black gear and Jimmy takes the mike doing his best Bruce. (It's not bad.) Randy Jackson joins him to jam. Hamm and Fey ham it up dancing. Big smiles from the audience.Out of breath, Jimmy starts his monologue, which quickly segues into him strumming a guitar. He's wearing tux top and jeans bottom."NBC asking the host of late night to come to Los Angeles to host a different show, what could possibly go wrong?" (Zing! Conan reference - cut to Conan, big cheers. Conan salutes.)Jimmy grabs Amy Poehler from the front row to sing.Jimmy: "The first category is comedy."Amy: "You're doing great so far...."Jimmy: "I've been drinking since three."Screens descend from the stage and we watch a montage of the nominees.Jon Hamm and Betty White are the first presenters. Hamm: "I may be only speaking for myself, but how about our sexual chemistry during that opening number?"White: "How about our sexual chemistry back in that quick change room?"(Awkward but enthusiastic randy-old-lady laughter.)The nominees for best supporting actor in a comedy series are introduced. The winner is... Eric Stonestreet from "Modern Family."He says all he wanted to be when he was a kid was a clown. (They cut to his co-star an on-screen boyfriend Jesse Tyler Ferguson in the audience and he's openly crying.) He gives a shout out to his mom in the audience and dad at home, telling them they get to keep the Emmy.John Hodgman introduces himself as our backstage color commentator.On stage, Jimmy explains the concept of having people submit intros for presenters via Twitter. The first two aren't exactly home runs. One says Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" is "bringing nerdy back" and Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" is "beautiful."Somewhere Bruce Vlanch thinks his day job is safe.Jim introduces a bit that asks comedy writers when they first got a laugh. Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan of "Modern Family" do a take-off on the Old Spice commercial, on a horse. They also win."It is absolutely mind blowing to think that just two short years ago "Modern Family" was just an idea Chris and I had when we were out riding our horse...." Levitan begins. He thanks ABC and the cast and their spouses."I also want to thank our wives, without whom, well, we'd probably be dating around a lot."Stephen Colbert is up next and says hello to the ladies, and the women. He's presenting supporting actress in a comedy. He explains that he's not one of those guys who thinks gals can't be funny. Just look at John Travolta in "Hairspray," or Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie," and don't forget Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies."Cut to Tom in the audience. Stephen says: "Madam, you still look lovely as ever. How do you keep your figure?" He introduces the nominees. The winner is... Jane Lynch.She thanks her parents for being so unintentionally hilarious. She raves about her ensemble and says she rarely identifies herself as anything, "I'm like a Buddhist in that way - although I'm not a Buddhist, they do seem like a very calm people," but she is an actor and feels compelled to do it. She thanks her "Lord and Creator Ryan Murphy."She throws out an "I love you" to her cast and wife.Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry are out next. (Jimmy's intro somehow involves Teddy Grahams.) They introduce guest actor and actress in a comedy series, awarded last week. Betty White won for "SNL" and Neil Patrick Harris for "Glee."On to directing in a comedy series. The winner is... Ryan Murphy for "Glee."He dedicates his award to all of his teachers, "who taught me to sing and finger paint."The "Modern Family" cast hearing pitches for how to improve their show from the new head of ABC. One involves a cross-racial adoption by Cam of Stewie from "Family Guy," Sofia Vergara in 3D, the next are worth finding on YouTube... including one that has Julie Bowen saying she was sad when a tree fell on Phil and killed him, but when his brother showed up at the funeral....pan over to the brother... George Clooney, sitting on a couch with Julie Bowen. The cast runs with the idea, cut to George with Sofia Vergara. Then with Eric and Jesse.Next up, best actor in a comedy series. The winner is... Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory."He thanks his costars, director, writers and production studio.Last year's host Neil Patrick Harris takes a moment to thank the Academy for allowing a gay man to host the show two years in a row. He tells Jimmy he's doing a great job.NPH introduces the best actress in a comedy nominees. The winner is...Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie.""This is just the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened in the history of this lovely awards show. I'm not funny!"Back to Jimmy in the audience with a guitar and a Kardashian. They introduce reality TV and some highlights.Will Arnett and Keri Russell, stars of "Running Wilde," present best reality show. But first, Will reads some prose from a piece of paper: "My Favorite Part of a Woman,' by Will Arnett. 'Oh luscious mounds...'"Keri tells him they cut that part.They introduce the nominees. And the winner is... "Top Chef"! The first time "Amazing Race" hasn't won since the category was created. Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons are there with the producers.Back to Jimmy and the guitar.Jimmy: "I cry sometimes when I watch these shows."Julianna Marguiles: "I cried when they announced you as the host."Slap fight leading into the drama category. Roll clips. Cheers for 24, Lost...Jimmy introduces Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni: "Earlier, these stars of Law & Order: SVU teamed up to save the most special victim of all: the 10 p.m. time slot on NBC."The introduce writing for a drama series. The winner is: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for "Mad Men."Erin thanks her dad who was also a writer and says she also has to really thank Matt. He agrees that she does.On to best supporting actor in a drama, which includes the last shot for Losties Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. The winner is: Aaron Paul from "Breaking Bad."He marvels at the size of the audience, thanks the voters, his show creator and co-star Bryan Cranston.Back to Jimmy and the Tweets, including one from @SamuelLPaxton who says presenter Nathan Fillion is "straight off the meat rack, yo."He introduces supporting actress in a drama. The winner is Archie Punjabi from "The Good Wife."She thanks everyone with the network and show in her native London accent. "To everyone who voted for me, this is just amazing for my career, thank you so very much."Edie Falco is back out to introduce best actor in a drama. The winner is... Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad." (A total shut out for the men of "Lost" in the acting category.) It's Cranston's third win.He tells his fellow nominees he's honored to be mentioned with them. He shouts out to his wife and daughter, "I love you more than baseball."The Emmy Show Clock shows us we're running 2 minutes over. The stars of NBC's new "Undercovers" introduce the nominees for guest actor and actress in a drama series. The winners were John Lithgow for "Dexter" and Ann-Margaret for "Law & Order: SVU."They're up to hand out the next award. (Yes, Ann-Margret still looks amazing.) They're presenting outstanding directing for a drama series. The winner is...Steve Shill for "Dexter," giving Lithgow to correct thanking HBO instead of Showtime when he won his guest Emmy.The Emmy ticker tells us George Clooney will be up in 17 minutes.And now, a musical tribute to three shows we lost this year. Jimmy sits on the stage at a pink piano in full Elton John gear and croons good-bye to "24" to the tune of "Candle in the Wind."Sample lyric: "I would like to thank you for all the torturing/ and Jack and Chloe and CTU/and the first black president."Then on to Boyz II Men's "Hard to Say Goodbye" for "Law & Order," and Green Day and "Time of Your Life" for "Lost": "The island was mythical, but in the end they died/I didn't understand it but I tried."Tina Fey and Matthew Morrison introduce best actress in a drama.Matthew: "This year's outstanding nominees for best actress in a drama all have one thing in common, they are..."He says "beautiful" as Tina says "terrifying," then corrects herself for laughs.The winner is Kyra Sedgwick. She kisses Kevin Bacon and takes the stage. It's her first Emmy. She asks Tina to hold her Emmy so she can read from her notes. She thanks TNT and the crew, the cast and quotes Kevin saying "Let's all be good to each other.'Back on the guitar in the audience.Jimmy: "The people in this category are funny and talented."Stephen Colbert: "It's an honor to get nominated, just like Jimmy Fallon did."Jimmy: "Stephen, I wasn't nominated."Stephen: "It's still an honor."Jimmy: "I wouldn't know."Stephen: "Trust me."Variety. Roll clips of Dave, Jon Stewart and a good amount of Conan, the Olympics, Haiti Telethon, etc...Joel McHale and Jeff Probst introduce writing for a variety special."Writers is good. Them makes we two look good spoken," McHale says.The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. Dave Boone thanks NPH for hosting.The ticker tells us we're 4 1/2 minutes from Ricky Gervais.Jimmy introduces him: "I used to think this next guy was a fat, rude, loudmouth Brit. But now, he's lost a bit of weight.""I'm saving the really offensive stuff for the Golden Globes," Ricky says. He riffs on the lack of alcohol and says there's no one scary here, like Mel Gibson. He stops himself, saying he's not going to have a go at him. "He's been through a lot... not as much as the Jews."Then he asks who wants a beer and has waiters bring out beers on trays for people in the front row. "The Office is in syndication, those are on me."Directing for Variety is next. Ricky says he hopes the winner is Bucky Gunts (for the Olympics) "because I didn't know you could say that on television... let's face it, we're all Bucky Gunts here..."Ricky introduces the winner: Bucky Gunts!Then, on to outstanding variety, music or comedy series, the noteworthy nominee here being "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."And the winner is..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," who isn't there, but not because he's appearing on "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew," the producer tells us.The CEO of the Academy comes out to introduce the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award, going this year to George Clooney, only the fourth time it has been given. His "ER" costar Julianna Marguiles introduces him, saying he was a driving force behind "America: A Concert for Heroes," "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" and "Hope for Haiti Now."He comes out to standing ovation, over his objections. "Don't do that because then I feel like maybe I'm sick and don't know it," he says. He says Bob was a friend of his aunt Rosemary Clooney and represents the best version of celebrity. "It's important to remember how much can get done, because we live in such strange times where bad behavior sucks up all the attention in the press."He makes a plea for attention to stay on disasters even after the cameras have gone.More Jimmy with a guitar. He kneels next to Hanks.Jimmy: "The Pacific nominated for two dozen awards/ better break the news to Spielberg, you're running out of wars. Mini-series and movies!"Clips roll.January Jones and John Krasinski introduce supporting actor in a miniseries or movie. The winner is Julia Ormand for "Temple Grandin.""I got so thrilled an excited I told my mom I was 'emanated' for a 'Nomy'," she says.Claire Danes is up next to present supporting actor in a mini-series or movie. The winner is David Strathairn, who co-stared with Danes in "Temple Grandin."He raves about teachers and Temple Grandin and we see her waving in the audience.Then on to Jewel, who tells us she wrote the song "Shape of You" for a friend who passed away from cancer. It's the Memoriam segment, including Art Linkletter, Soupy Sales, Jean Simmons, Peter Graves, Robert Culp, Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, Captain Phil Harris, Dixie Carter, Lynn Redgrave, Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper.Maury Tierney and Blair Underwood present writing for mini-series or movie. The Emmy goes to Adam Mazer for "You Don't Know Jack."He urges people to talking about the end of life debate. "Jack Kevorkian, I'm so glad you're my friend, but I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."Then lead actress in a mini-series or movie. The winner is Claire Danes for "Temple Grandin."She thanks HBO and Temple, who cheerfully stands up and waves again from the audience.Welcome the cast of "True Blood." It's apparently getting late in the show, Jimmy introduces them, saying they really "suck."But the intro bit runs with it.Stephen Moyer: "By an obscure and ancient Emmy bylaw we are now required to make at least one vampire pun while presenting the next award."Alexander Skarsgard: "Stephen, don't - this is going to be quite painful. Allow me: It is now our bloody thrill-Moyer: "Brilliant."Skarsgard: "It was worse than I thought - to present the next award for outstanding directing for a miniseries or movie."The winner is: Mick Jackson for Temple Grandin.Back to the vamps. Skarsgard thanks Ricky Gervais for the non-alcoholic beer.They introduce best actor for mini-series or movie. The winner is: Al Pacino for "You Don't Know Jack."He says it was a pleasure to know Kevorkian (who is in the audience). He thanks everyone and doesn't get played off stage because, well, he's Al Pacino.Laurence Fishburne introduces the nominees for outstanding miniseries. The winner is "The Pacific." Tom Hanks accepts and thanks HBO.The award for made-for-tv-movie goes to "Temple Grandin."The executive producer gets bear-hugged by her autistic subject mid-speech.Jimmy tells us there are two awards left. "You know the next presenter from the hit series "Magnum PI," but I know him as...my real father. Tom Selleck, everybody. Dad, come on out!"Jimmy hugs a startled Selleck to fully sell the bit. He introduces the best drama nominees. "Mad Men" wins its third in a row."So where was I?" Matt Weiner begins as he picks up his writer speech where he got cut off. He thanks the cast and AMC and wraps up quickly.Ted Danson is out to wrap things up with the nominees for best comedy series. The winner is: Modern Family. (The camera manages not to cut immediately to Tina Fey.)Steven Levitan thanks his amazing cast "who makes us forget how much we hate writing, every day." He thanks their writing staff. "Chris and I get so much credit for what is often their amazing work and I just want to say: that's Hollywood, dude."And there you have it. Jimmy wraps up, popping champagne and shouting, "After-party at Betty White's house!"
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