1The Sick Boy and the Sitter
Alan Brady is throwing a party at his penthouse for a few of the network executives and he wants the writing staff to attend. Unfortunately for Rob though Laura thinks Richie is on the verge of being sick and wants to stay home. Rob is certain he'll be okay and wants to get a babysitter but he's having a hard time convincing Laura.
2My Blonde-Haired Brunette
Laura dyes her hair blonde when she suspects Rob is losing interest in her. This episode was actually the ninth to be filmed, and was moved up to second in broadcast sequence in order to showcase Mary Tyler Moore's rapid emergence as a comic actress.
3Sally and the Lab Technician
After Rob gets home late from work because he has to drive Sally home Laura gets the idea to try and play matchmaker. Rob is against it but Laura thinks Sally would be a good match with her cousin Thomas, the lab technician. The two are polar opposites...Thomas is quiet, mild and meek and Sally is loud, brassy and full of jokes. The dinner is a disaster but can opposites attract?
4Washington vs. the Bunny
5Oh, How We Met on the Night That We Danced
6Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, Mo.
Harrison B. Harding stops by the office and claims he's an old Army buddy of Rob from Camp Crowder. Rob pretends to recognize Harrison, but he doesn't really recognize him (Harrison says he lost 57 pounds). Rob doesn't even remember anybody with that name. Rob tries to get rid of Harrison, but winds up inviting Harrison and his wife home for dinner. He then starts to suspect that Harrison is a con man with embarrassing results.
7Jealousy!
Jerry plants seeds of mistrust in Laura's mind when he learns that Valerie Blake, the beautiful movie star will be guesting on The Alan Brady Show. Laura doesn't listen to him until Rob begins a string of late night work sessions. Soon Laura's jealousy begins to grow and Rob will have to work just as hard to convince Laura that nothing is going on between he and Valerie Blake.
9The Unwelcome Houseguest
Buddy and his wife can't take their German Shepherd, Larry, with them on a three-day weekend. Buddy wants Rob to keep Larry for the weekend, but Rob refuses because he hasn't talked it over with Laura. The next time we see Rob, he's trying to sneak Larry into the house. Ritchie is afraid because he thinks that Larry is a wolf and Laura can't sleep because Larry is crying. What is Rob to do?
10The Meershatz Pipe
Rob's not as impressed with Buddy's new Meershatz pipe as he is with the fact that it was a gift from Alan Brady. Not just impressed but envious as well. After all, he is the head writer of the show and begins to feel as if he isn't needed. Getting sick and having to miss work for several days doesn't help his insecurities.
11Forty-Four Tickets
Rob complains about Ritchie's forgetfulness, but suddenly realizes he forgot to reserve 44 tickets for the PTA to see the show. Rob begs and borrows some tickets; Buddy and Sally try to steal some tickets for him. An unexpected twist occurs at the last moment.
12Empress Carlotta's Necklace
14Buddy, Can You Spare a Job?
16The Curious Thing About Women
Rob becomes annoyed when Laura begins opening his mail and reading it. He incorporates her into a sketch in which she opens a mysterious package containing a self-inflating raft, and now it's her turn to be angry for being portrayed on television as a "pathological snoopy-nose". Rob gets the last laugh when the self-inflating raft he ordered arrives and Laura, unable to control her curiosity, opens it.
17Punch Thy Neighbor
Neighbor and friend Jerry Helper teases too much! Rob gets increasingly upset as Jerry jokes around the whole neighborhood that "The Alan Brady Show" was "rotten" this past week. Rob accidentally hits him in a restaurant, and hilarity ensues!
19The Talented Neighborhood
"The Alan Brady Show" announces its annual search for the most gifted youngster, and parents are asked to send a picture of their child. All of the stage mothers in Rob's neighborhood want him to get their children private auditions. And all of Sally's neighbors. And all of Buddy's neighbors. The final straw is parents who have just moved into the neighborhood and Rob is uncharacteristically mean.
20A Word a Day
Ritchie is starting to learn some new words. He says a bad word to Laura in the car. She thinks ignoring it is the best course, but Rob wants to have a "man-to-man" talk with Ritchie. Rob also wants to confront the family that he assumes is responsible for Ritchie learning the bad words, but that could prove embarrassing.
21The Boarder Incident
Buddy's wife Pickles is away for 3 weeks to take care of her mother. Buddy can't stay at home because he's too lonely. Rob discovers that Buddy has been sleeping overnight at work and insists he move into his guest room. Sally warns against it. Either Buddy and his dog Larry are keeping Rob and Laura awake, or Rob and Laura aren't letting Buddy stay up late.
25Where You Been, Fassbinder?
Sally doesn't have a date for her birthday. Then an old friend from high school (Leo Fassbinder) calls and Sally invites Leo to her apartment for a quiet evening. Rob, Laura, Buddy and Mel think Leo is just a made up friend and plan to bring a loud party to Sally's apartment.
26I Am My Brother's Keeper
30The Return of Happy Spangler
Rob (Dick Van Dyke) runs into his old boss Happy Spangler (Jay C. Flippen) while shopping for clothing.When Rob finds out Hap has been out of the business for fifteen years and is now selling ties, he offers him a job writing comedy with his crew at the Allen Brady show.Hap deals with the insecurity of trying to write comedy again by telling endless old stories of the days gone by instead of tackling the work.When the deadline for a new script arrives and the crew is short four minutes Rob can't bring himself to ask his old boss to get to work and quit the reminiscing.Rob ponders firing his old friend for being more of a distraction than help.Hap agrees he hasn't been much help says that comedy has changed since the days he wrote. He said that todays audience doesn't buy the old slapstick sketches he liked to write.As he packs up and is heading out Rob has a change of heart and decides to write that one sketch about the very subject Hap spoke of and that would fill the four minute hole in the show.Rob demonstrates how Allen Brady would give a lecture at his desk on how comedy has changed and modern audiences are to sophisticated for slapstick while incorporating all the shtick like closing his finger in the desk drawer, impaling himself with scissors and falling out of his chair while giving his talk.The whole crew agree the sketch is a great idea and they all (including Hap) polish it up for the show.After the sketch plays well on the show, Hap has to decide to stay on the show or return to retirement.
1Never Name a Duck
Mel has a box of props, primarily toys, that he is letting Rob distribute amongst himself, Sally and Buddy. None of the toys are really appropriate for Ritchie, but the one set of props that no one really knows what to do with is a pair of live baby ducks. Despite once having brought home some chicks for Ritchie that died the same day which devastated both Laura and Ritchie, Rob decides to bring them home as he falls in love with them. Laura is against having the ducks if only because of what happened to the chicks, but once Ritchie sees them and names them - Oliver and Stanley - they know they can't refuse them to Ritchie. Three months later and after the death of Oliver, Stanley, now full grown, is a beloved member of the family to Ritchie. But he isn't looking too healthy, much like Oliver did before he died. After speaking to the veterinarian, Rob learns that what Stanley is suffering from is the need to live the outdoor life of a duck with other ducks, and as such, Rob releases him into a lake. He has to explain to Ritchie why his beloved Stanley can't live with them anymore.
2The Two Faces of Rob
Did Rob prove a husband can fool his wife by disguising his voice, or is Laura just playing along? Though Rob's Italian accent as suave Dr. Benno Benetti sounds more like Bela Lugosi, Laura makes a phone date with the charming imaginary physician. Which is more important to Rob, pride in his comic gifts, or faith in Laura's fidelity ?
3The Attempted Marriage
Ritchie finds a silver tray that was a wedding present from Rob's old army buddies. After reading the inscription on the tray which refers to if Laura is ever to remarry someone who can make it to the chapel on time, Rob and Laura recount to Ritchie the disaster that was their attempted first wedding ceremony and the less than perfect wedding ceremony that eventually did happen. Although Rob admits that he did have cold feet the day of the intended ceremony and that he drove off just before the ceremony to think about what he should do, a broken down jeep, a sprained ankle and a respiratory tract infection caused a few problems in Rob and Laura ever getting married.
4Bank Book 6565696
By happenstance, Rob finds a bank book of an account in Laura's name with a balance of $378.16. It was hidden in a location that Laura obviously did not want Rob to know about the account. Rob is not bothered by the fact of the account or that Laura has built up a little nest egg for whatever reason, but he is bothered that she didn't tell him about it. As Rob tries to figure out what Laura is saving the money for, he comes to the realization that his birthday is in a few days and perhaps she is going to get him the $425 movie projector he wants as their existing projector is on its last legs. Rob even slyly gives Laura the extra $47 she needs to purchase the projector. When his birthday comes to pass, will he see the new projector as he believes? If not, will his curiosity about the money and the bank account get the better of him?
5Hustling the Hustler
Buddy receives a visit at the office from his younger brother, Blackie from who he is estranged. Their estrangement is because Blackie "works" as a pool hustler. Despite Blackie telling Buddy that he has turned over a new leaf and has gone legitimate in land development, Buddy doesn't believe him and kicks him out for which Buddy feels quietly miserable. Later, Rob meets Blackie and learns that he's Buddy's brother. As such, Rob invites Blackie home for dinner and to shoot a little pool in his basement. This invitation gives Blackie the opportunity to show Rob, and later Buddy, his true colors as a human being.
6My Husband Is Not a Drunk
Rob has invited Glen Jameson, an old army buddy, to a party at his house. Glen is a hypnotist, so all the guests at the party want Rob to persuade Glen to demonstrate his skills. Glen is more than happy to oblige. While Rob is in the kitchen getting a glass of water for Ritchie, Glen has placed Buddy under a post-hypnotic suggestion in the living room. Hearing what is going on, Rob also falls under Buddy's post-hypnotic suggestion without Glen or anyone else aware that it has happened. That suggestion, triggered by the sound of a bell, is to make the subject switch between a state of drunkenness to sobriety. That suggestion causes a few issues for Rob at work the next day, especially as he deals with Mr. Boland, one of the show's important sponsors.
7What's in a Middle Name?
8Like a Sister
Rob, Sally and Buddy have to make some last minute changes to this week's show, since their guest is no longer actress Sophia Loren, but rather crooner Ric Vallone. Rob and Buddy oblige Sally by allowing her to have their evening dinner meeting be just her and Ric, despite Ric having the reputation of being a confirmed bachelor. Ric and Sally spend much of their time together for the week. Buddy believes Sally is smitten with Ric. After she sees the two together, Laura concurs, but she doesn't think Ric feels the same way about Sally. Feeling that the twosome is in part his doing, Rob wants to know exactly what is going on between them. When Rob does get the full picture, he, with Ric's assistance, has to come up with a way to protect the fragile psyche of his friend, Sally. What Rob and Ric don't fully understand is the female psyche, period.
9The Night the Roof Fell In
Rob storms out of the house after terrible fight with Laura and stays out all night, which he's never done before. The fight - which was really about nothing - was due to the fact that both Rob and Laura had an extremely trying day, and each was expecting some understanding from the other, which they could not give because they were wrapped up in their own issues. The story is told from three different perspectives: from Laura's biased perspective, from Rob's biased perspective, and from the more balanced perspective of an impartial witness to the proceedings, namely one of their goldfish. The next day, both Rob and Laura are upset about what happened and try to right the wrong that occurred. But similar thinking between the two may cause more issues.
10The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally
Rob feels that there is something wrong with his relationship with Buddy and Sally. Their work life is going all right, but they don't seem to socialize together outside of work anymore. Even when Rob suggests they come to his house for a barbecue on the weekend (which includes doing some work), they make up what is obviously a lie to get out of it. What's worse for Rob is that he overhears Buddy tell Sally that what they do outside of the office is none of Rob's business. At first, Rob thinks that they are moonlighting writing for another show (which is forbidden under the terms of their exclusive contracts), but comes to an even more shocking conclusion when he phones Buddy's house and learns from Pickles that Buddy isn't there: that Buddy and Sally are having an affair. Later, when Rob overhears Buddy and Sally talk about Herbie's Hiawatha Lodge - a getaway outside of New York City - Rob makes any excuse to go there to catch them in the act to save their friendship and Buddy's marriage. But it ends up not being quite the act Rob was anticipating.
11A Bird in the Head Hurts
Ritchie comes running into the house scared and in tears. He claims that he was being eaten by a giant woodpecker. Laura knows he is obviously crying wolf - or in this case crying woodpecker - but she does whatever she can to calm him down. When a concerned Laura, not knowing what to do, tells Rob, they try to figure out the cause for Ritchie needing this attention. Regardless, Rob believes that playing along with Ritchie and saying that he killed the woodpecker may finally calm Ritchie down for good. But when what they believe the cause for needing that attention no longer exists (a fight with neighbor Freddie Helper) and Ritchie again comes crying into the house saying that he was being eaten by that giant woodpecker, Rob and Laura come to a different conclusion based on information from Millie. Rob and Laura's problem then becomes how not to sound like they too are crying wolf - or crying woodpecker - without sounding crazy. Rob ultimately feels he has no choice but to take matters into his own hands.
12Gesundheit, Darling
Rob has had several sneezing bouts throughout the evening. Based on a newspaper article he read, Jerry believes Rob's sneezing is a psychosomatic condition brought about by anger, the most probable cause of that anger - based on the events of the evening - being Laura. Laura too begins to believe that Rob is angry with her. It becomes a vicious cycle where Rob gets angrier the more Laura believes Rob is mad at her, which is made all the worse by Rob continuing to sneeze. After getting allergy tests done and speaking to his doctor, Rob gets it into his head that he really is allergic to Laura, whether it be psychosomatic or physiological, especially as he only seems to be sneezing at home around her. Could it be so?
13A Man's Teeth Are Not His Own
Jerry is out of town for four days on a dental convention, but makes Rob vow to come in for a long overdue dental appointment when he returns. On one of those four days while Rob is at work, he breaks a tooth on a chicken bone. Mel offers to take him to his and Alan's dentist, Dr. Bardhoffen. After the fact, Rob feels like he cheated on Jerry, not only for Dr. Bardhoffen fixing his broken tooth magnificently, but also letting him deal with the other issue tooth that could have waited for Jerry's return. Rob admits that he thinks Dr. Bardhoffen is heads and tails a better dentist than Jerry. After Jerry returns, Rob tries to avoid Jerry altogether. But Rob knows he'll have to let Jerry take a look in his mouth sooner or later, but he's still hoping it's later.
14Somebody Has to Play Cleopatra
15The Cat Burglar
Rob reads in the newspaper that the Segals, one of their neighbors, are the fourth and latest victims of a home robbery in their neighborhood in four consecutive nights. The news unnerves Laura, Jerry and Millie. Jerry insists that Rob take one of his rifles, which Rob does unwillingly and unloaded. Every little bump in the night that Rob and Laura hear makes them believe that they are the burglars' next target. Despite the extra precaution and vigilance, both the Petries and the Helpers end up being robbed that night, with Rob and Laura's missing item being especially puzzling. When Rob receives a telephone call at work from Laura the next day about some mundane household issues, Rob thinks he's figured out who the burglars are and how to nab them.
16The Foul Weather Girl
Based on an off the cuff remark in a reply letter he wrote to her, Rob's old high school friend Jane Leighton comes to New York to try and make it big in show business. Rob vows to help her in anyway he can. However, Laura isn't so comfortable with Rob doing that. Although Laura trusts Rob not to cheat on her, she doesn't trust the beautiful and flirtatious Jane as much, she who may feel indebted to Rob for all his help and who seems like the type of girl who will do anything to get ahead. Regardless, Rob decides to work with Jane during the evenings for a week to help her prepare for her auditions. This act is part of Rob's grand plan to help preserve his relationship with Laura, although Laura may not fully understand why until after the auditions.
17Will You Two Be My Wife?
Seeing that Rob hid something in his desk, nosy Sally and Buddy find that it is a manuscript that looks like his memoirs. Although they feel guilty reading it, they do so anyway. The section they read is about the time he was at Camp Crowder getting ready for his wedding to Laura. In preparation, he asked his Captain if he could have two three-day passes, one for the honeymoon, and one to go back to his hometown of Danville, Illinois to tell his old girlfriend, the sexy and amorous Dorothy to who he was pre-engaged and who he's known since they were both in the fourth grade, that he was marrying someone else. As the Captain would only issue one three-day pass, Rob had to decide which of the two was going to happen, and how Laura and Dorothy would react to what he had to tell them. Sally and Buddy, who love what they read, are less thrilled that the story as typed is incomplete. How will they find out the rest of the story without letting Rob know that they snooped in his desk?
18Ray Murdock's X-Ray
"The Ray Murdock X-Rays" is a provocative television show hosted by Ray Murdock, whose style of interviewing is more to get an exposé than it is legitimate journalism. Rob has been asked to appear on the show. He agrees if only to do something which he considers courageous in his life. Rob believes it will be a fun challenge to avoid answering Ray's salacious personal questions, but Ray tells Rob he'll stick solely to questions about work which comforts Rob. The resulting interview, which does focus on Rob's writing, nonetheless makes Laura come off as a nutcase. Rob, as a result, does whatever he can to keep Laura away from the television set when the show airs at 8 o'clock that evening. But Rob can't control who else may watch the show that knows Laura.
19I Was a Teenage Head Writer
Rob, Sally and Buddy are arguing with Mel about a long seventeen minute sketch - one that took them five days to write - that Mel wants them to scrap, they believe solely because it hits a little too close to home for Mel. Rob, Buddy and Sally vow to quit if they have to rewrite the sketch without Alan having even seen it, but only Rob quits when Mel won't back down. This incident prompts Rob to reminisce with Laura about when he was first hired as head writer ten years earlier. Buddy and Sally had already been the show's staff writers for a year, but Rob, who had little experience, was hired nonetheless to bring a new style of writing to the show. Buddy and Sally didn't take too well both to Rob's appointment as their boss and his different direction for the show. Rob ultimately took it upon himself to do something to save not only his job but Buddy and Sally's as well. He's hoping that they'll come through for him this time around.
20It May Look Like a Walnut!
A terrifying science-fiction TV program grips Rob, while Laura cowers under her bed covers, trying in vain to ignore the show and its blood-chilling music. When the show ends, Laura's curiosity overwhelms her, so she lets Rob torture her by acting out the tale of Kolak, a visitor from the planet Twilo, who resembles Danny Thomas, and deploys walnuts to destroy Earth's technological capacity, by excising all earthlings' thumbs and imagination. Rob awakes in the morning to a living room strewn with walnuts, and an eerily calm Laura preparing scrambled walnuts for Rob's breakfast. Is Rob dreaming, is Laura having her revenge, or is the valiant comedy writer the only one who can save the planet from descending into the pit of man's fears ?
21My Husband Is a Check-Grabber
Rob is initially puzzled by Laura's coldness towards him after they go out to dinner with a number of their friends. He finally figures out that she's treating him this way because she objects to his having picked up the check for the entire dinner that night. Rob refuses to change his behavior and claims that he will continue to pay for dinner checks when they're out with friends -- until he sees a reflection of his behavior in the actions of his son, Ritchie.
22Don't Trip Over That Mountain
Rob is excited about his two day ski trip with Jerry. Despite Laura saying that she doesn't mind Rob going without her, Rob eventually finds out that Laura, who really doesn't want to go, is just concerned that Rob, who has never been skiing before, will try and compete with expert skier Jerry and in the process break some bone in his body. Laura's intuition that Rob is going to get hurt gets stronger when Rob and Jerry are late getting home from the trip. While Laura, with Millie by her side, wait, Rob and Jerry are in the hospital getting medical attention for their injuries sustained in a four person on-slope collision. Rob feels like his entire body is "sprained". But when he gets home, he does whatever he can to hide the fact that he is injured from Laura, who he knows will give him a bunch of "I told you so"s if she knows the truth.
23Give Me Your Walls
While using an indelible laundry pen, Rob inadvertently starts drawing on the living room wall. Rob is well on his way to fixing the problem area when Laura decides that the only solution is to repaint the entire room despite it only having recently been painted. After Rob's attempt to fix the problem, he realizes that Laura is right. With their regular painter busy, they decide to hire Vito Giotto, a paint/wallpaper man who came by the house earlier looking for work. They end up being worried about Vito overcharging them as he was wearing an expensive suit when he came to look at the room and as they gave him the job without getting a quote. The focus of their worries changes when the eccentric and easily distracted Vito starts to treat the job as his home away from home.
24The Sam Pomerantz Scandals
For their week off, Rob talks Sally, Buddy, Pickles and Mel into joining him and Laura at a new resort owned and operated by his old army buddy, Sam Pomerantz. With so much to do at the resort, Rob has troubles trying to find a tennis partner as all his friends are off doing other things. He ends up playing with the resort's headliner, his old friend, comedian Danny Brewster. In the process, Rob injures Danny who won't be able to do his show on opening night. Feeling guilty and to help Sam out of a jam, Rob puts together his own revue in place of Danny's show using Sally, Buddy, Pickles, Laura, Mel, Sam and himself.
25The Square Triangle
Rob is scared to learn that French actor/singer Jacques Savon is the guest on the show this week. Laura is later also scared to learn that Jacques is the guest on Alan's show. Rob and Laura met Jacques and his then wife Yvette when they visited Europe years ago at a time when Jacques' career was just about to take off. It is a trip that they never speak of, although neither knows exactly why the other doesn't talk about it. As well, their individual fear of seeing Jacques is because of the same end result but for a slightly different reason. Neither Rob or Laura knows that the other really doesn't want to see Jacques, both who try to avoid him at all cost. But when Jacques finds out that both Rob and Laura are scared to see him and the reason why, he has to figure out a way to preserve the romantic memory that both have about that European trip.
26I'm No Henry Walden
Rob is nervous about the elegant dinner party he and Laura have been invited to by a Mrs. Huntington - who they've never met - for all the top writers in their respective fields. Rob's nerves are due to feeling out of his league with a roomful of serious writers, especially as his writing has no what he considers permanence. Rob and Laura really only want to meet famed poet Henry Walden. After the party, they regret having gone for several reasons, including having to spend the evening with a bunch of pretentious but nonetheless wealthy writers, and not even meeting Walden among the bunch. But the biggest reason is the reason for the party itself, which they learned was a fund-raiser for a literary foundation, with the writers to donate part or all of the royalties from their books. With no book to his name and thus no royalties, Rob donates the only thing he has in his pockets, which could end up ruining his reputation. But Rob changes his mind about the gathering when he learns who actually invited him to the party and why.
27Racy Tracy Rattigan
For the two weeks that Alan is away on vacation in Bermuda, British actor Tracy Rattigan will be filling in for him. Despite Tracy never having hosted a variety show, Rob, Buddy and Sally are eager to be working with him. Known as somewhat of a ladies' man with the nickname Racy Tracy, Sally in particular is anxious to meet him. But the one person who Tracy seems interested in is Laura, who stops by the office specifically to meet him. Seeming to feign a previous engagement to get out of invitations from both Buddy and Sally, Tracy instead invites himself to Rob and Laura's house to kick around a few ideas for the show, which Rob takes to mean that he wants to get to know Laura better. Rob and Laura learn first hand how Tracy really got his nickname. But that understanding translates into a slightly different professional perspective for Rob, Buddy and Sally.
29It's a Shame She Married Me
Rob and Laura learn from their accountant that they will have to cut some corners and penny-pinch for the next little while until their financial situation improves. Despite Rob making a half decent living, he is dismayed since he feels that he should be able to provide a more comfortable standard of living for Laura and Ritchie. Rob's feeling of dismay changes to paranoia, persecution, insecurity, fear and envy when he runs into Jim Darling, the show's new wealthy and good looking sponsor who also happens to be Laura's old beau. Rob fears that if Laura sees Jim again that she may decide that she made the wrong choice in who she married. So Rob does whatever he can to hide the fact of Jim reentering his life, especially as Jim wants to host a cocktail party for the show's staff and their spouses while he's in town and especially wants to see Laura. Laura does eventually find out, but she may regret the party after seeing Rob and Jim together.
30A Surprise Surprise Is a Surprise
Rob overhears Laura talking to Millie about pulling some sort of deception on him which Millie will help keep secret. It sounds like Laura is planning on having an affair. Based on another conversation he overhears between the two, Rob learns that the secret is a surprise birthday party for him. But when Rob gets it out of Laura that she is planning "something" for his birthday, Laura has to make a change of plans. So Rob knows that Laura is planning a surprise party for him. What Rob doesn't know is that Laura knows that he knows. Or so Laura thinks. Rob is pretty certain that she is trying the old double reverse on him. Is she really? Only a party or no party on Saturday night will tell the real story of who managed to outfox who.
31Jilting the Jilter
Rob and Buddy are reminiscing about Freddy White, a deadbeat comedian who they have both provided material to but who never paid them and now tries to avoid them at almost all cost unless he can get something else out of them for free. Rob ran into Freddy when he was out to dinner with Laura and Sally the previous evening. Rob and Buddy are surprised to learn that Sally likes Freddy, who she now considers her primary guy who she hopes someday to marry. Rob knows that Freddy is only romancing Sally to get her to write him some new material for free, which Freddy admits to him in private. Freddy even intends on going as far as marrying Sally to have a permanent and exclusive writer. Rob and Laura fear that if they try to break the two up, Sally will only resent them for doing so. Sally beats them to the punch by announcing that she and Freddy are getting married and that she knows all about Freddy's past and his admission to Rob. She vows to her friends that she knows what she's doing in marrying Freddy, but does she really? Rob thinks he knows a way to show Freddy's true intentions in marrying Sally. Rob's plan takes a bit of a turn from its intended course to its final outcome.
32When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen
A tired Rob comes home from work lamenting the fact that he, Buddy and Sally spent the entire day drawing a blank for Alan's comedy sketch for this week's show. When Rob asks Ritchie off the cuff "tell me a funny story", Ritchie tells him a story of a talking bowling pin and how it feels when the bowling ball is coming toward it. Rob thinks this idea would be perfect for Alan's sketch. What Ritchie fails to tell his father is that he saw that exact skit on the Uncle Spunky program, a local children's television show. Rob brings the idea to work, and Buddy and Sally love it. They pass the resulting script to Mel, who loves it and passes it on to Alan, who also loves it. So when Rob, Buddy and Sally find out the true source material of the idea and that Uncle Spunky is a sue-happy type of person, they have to find a way to get Alan to unlove the sketch as telling them that they are plagiarists, unwitting or not, may be grounds for dismissal. Alan, however, believes the best defense is a strong offense.
1My Mother Can Beat Up My Father
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When Laura and Rob are accosted by a drunk in a downtown bar, Laura surprises Rob by using a judo throw that flattens the man. Rob begins to feel inadequate as the "protector" of his household and sets out to prove a point with Laura.
3The Lady and the Babysitter
4A Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat
6Romance, Roses, and Rye Bread
8The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail
9Three Letters from One Wife
10Pink Pills and Purple Parents
11It Wouldn't Hurt Them to Give Us a Raise
13My Two Show-Offs and Me
14Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk
15Brother, Can You Spare $2500?
16The Impractical Joke
Rob is victimized by one of Buddy's practical jokes and vows to get even through psychological warfare. Meanwhile Buddy eventually becomes a victim of a practical joke set up by the same gentleman who actually pulled the initial prank on Rob.
19Boy Number One Versus Boy Number Two
20The Redcoats Are Coming
Rob agrees to have a popular British singing duo spend the night at his home when they appear on the Alan Brady Show. There's one catch: he's sworn to secrecy and cannot tell anyone about it for fear of touching off a frenzy very similar to what the Beatles were capable of doing at that time.
21The Case of the Pillow
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A shady salesman sells Laura four down pillows. Rob and Laura love their pillows until they realize that they have a peculiar unpleasant chicken smell. Rob takes the case to small claims court and relays the whole story to the judge. The judge is annoyed at Rob's TV-lawyer antics, but the feathers really fly when Rob shows the pillows to the judge.
22Young Man with a Shoehorn
Buddy convinces Rob to invest in his uncle's discount shoe store. When they visit the store, Rob gets some gaudy shoes for Laura. Laura is understandably aghast, and Rob gives her permission to exchange the shoes. Laura goes to the store and is amazed at the rudeness of the salesman. She relays her experience to Rob and recommends that he protect his investment by talking with the manager about the salesman. Buddy and Rob go back and observe that the salesman is every bit as rude as Laura said; they castigate him for his behavior, so she quit and walks out of the store, leaving no one there but Rob and Buddy. They cover the store as temporary salesmen until Buddy's uncle returns. They complain to him about the salesman, but he tells them that the salesman is indispensable, even though he quits regularly. People like to see a rude salesman at a deep discount store, because it fits their expectations and makes them feel better about getting a steal on shoes.
25Your Home Sweet Home Is My Home
27Never Bathe on Saturday
In a flashback, Rob and Laura recount to Millie why a romantic overnight getaway that evening was abruptly cut short. The couple's second honeymoon starts off well enough in their hotel suite until Laura takes a bath and Rob playfully paints a "David Niven-ish" mustache on his lip. Rob is assisted by a wisecracking hotel staff, including a surly maid, a detective and a bellboy. It finally takes a gunshot to the bathroom door lock and a locksmith to extricate Laura from her predicament.
28A Show of Hands
Millie and Laura are home dying a costume for Richie's school play, and Laura immerses her hands into the vat of dye, not realizing that the dye is indelible. They run over to Millie's home to see if they can find some way to get the dye out of Laura's hands. Meanwhile, Rob comes home, sees the vat, and can't help but reach inside to see what it is. Thus both Rob and Laura end up with black hands. Rob becomes visibly upset, and he explains to Laura that they have to represent Alan Brady at an important community banquet celebrating racial progress. Try as they might, the only solution that they can think of is to wear white gloves to the banquet. When Rob speaks at the banquet, he feels compelled to own up to the truth regarding their hands.
29Baby Fat
Alan Brady (Carl Reiner) is realizing his dream of acting in a Broadway play called "Baby Fat" by famous playwright Harper Worthington Yates (Strother Martin). However, Alan doesn't like his lines in the play and he asks Rob to spice up his lines. When Rob goes out of his way to run his latest copy to Alan at his play practice, Alan is ashamed to admit to Harper that he is intentionally changing the play, so he keeps forcing Rob to hide in the closet, and ultimately claims that the discovered Rob is his tailor. Rob gets upset at his treatment, and Alan agrees Rob should leave, but forces him to climb out a window to prevent being seen. Rob complains to Laura about his treatment, and they agree that Rob should stand up to Alan and insist on recognition for his work as a ghostwriter. When Rob confronts Alan at the office the next day, Harper is there discussing the play.
30100 Terrible Hours
In a flashback told to a reporter, Rob and Laura explain how Rob got his job with the Alan Brady Show. He had been a disc jockey at a radio station, and the manager asked Rob for a publicity stunt: Break the record for the most consecutive hours on the air. The record was 100 hours; after 94 hours, Laura arrived with the news that Alan Brady had requested a personal interview with Rob. Rob refused to leave until he had broken the 100-hour record, and then he and Laura went to Chicago to meet with Alan. Rob can't think straight and can hardly walk for lack of sleep, so Alan is very disappointed. As Rob and Laura explain to the reporter, Alan was very sweet about it after he learned about the situation, and they had another interview the next day.
32There's No Sale Like Wholesale
