Married with Children

1Pilot

The Bundy family which makes up of chauvinist shoe salesman Al, his lazy housewife Peggy, their dumb 15-year-old daughter Kelly, and their bratty 12-year-old con artist son Bud, have settled into a peaceful co-existence in suburban Chicago, married only by the vicious verbal volleys they exchange to each other while awake. Peggy invites their new neighbors, newlyweds Steve and Marcy Rhoades, over for the evening, so she forbids Al from going out to a basketball game with his single co-worker Luke, from the shoe store.

2Thinnergy

Marcy gives Peggy a diet book called "Thinergy" in which Peggy hopes that it will put some energy into their lives (and in the bedroom), so Peggy tries to get Al to join her on the diet too. But life is not the same in the Bundy household unless Al can get her to quit the diet.

3But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy

4Whose Room Is It Anyway?

Steve and Marcy plan to add a new room onto their house using their tax refund money. Al convinces Steve to make it into a billiards room while Peggy convinces Marcy to make it into an exercise room, which leads to an all-out battle of the sexes to see who will win.

5Have You Driven a Ford Lately

Al and Steve buy a beat up Ford Mustang off of one of Kelly's boyfriends. Soon they form a tight friendship while fixing it up like new. The only problem is they are neglecting their wives now that they spend every free minute with the car. Marcy gets to experience something in the backseat of the Mustang that she has always wanted to do and when Al finds out about it, he won't let her forget it.

6Sixteen Years and What Do You Get

Despite their agreement not to exchange gifts for their 16th wedding anniversary, Al secretly goes gift hunting anyway to buy Peggy a new wristwatch. When Al's credit card is rejected for being over its limit, he returns home to find that Peggy, Kelly, Bud, the Rhoades and even Luke had bought gifts for him and Peggy... using his credit card.

7Married... Without Children

Steve and Marcy decide that once is enough after they volunteer to watch Kelly, Bud, and the family dog Buck, after Al and Peggy go away for the weekend to a seedy motel in Wisconsin where Al wants to watch a boxing match on the cable TV system.

8The Poker Game

Al takes Steve one evening to watch a poker game with his poker playing friends. Steve gets the feel of the game and sits in for one of the men, but he ends up losing his paycheck to Al. From then on, Steve tries to avoid Marcy to avoid telling her the truth about losing their mortgage payment money while Al plans to use his $300 winnings to buy a new fishing rod.

9Peggy Sue Got Work

To get the money to purchase a new VCR that Al won't buy her, Peggy takes a job in a department store of selling clocks, which takes the "fun" out of the Bundy marriage as a result of her absence, and Kelly and Bud getting stuck with Al for the evenings.

10Al Loses His Cherry

Al gets a first-hand look at Luke's swinging bachelor life when he takes refuge at Luke's apartment after work rather than return home to finish an argument with Peggy over visiting her relatives for the weekend. Luke invites two women over at his place where one of them, an attractive but dim-witted airplane stewardess, temps Al.

11Nightmare on Al's Street

While Steve is out of town for the week on business, Marcy starts having dreams involving a romance-minded Al which turns her dreams into nightmares, and turns off her sexual urges, prompting her to look into the source of her nightmares, while a clueless Steve asks Al for advice on Marcy's sudden lack of sexual needs.

12Where's the Boss?

13Johnny Be Gone

Personal problems and crises delay Al and Peggy's departure to the going out of business party of their favorite hamburger joint, "Johnny Be Goods," which range from Kelly being stood up from going to a party, Bud wanting to finish a remote-controlled car for a model car festival, to Marcy stranded at the Bundys wearing only a towel after staining her dress.

1Poppy's by the Tree: Part 1

The Bundys take a vacation to near-beautiful Dumpwater, Florida and stay in a cut-rate motel where an ax murderer that hates tourists, shows up every five years since 1967, and redneck locals begin to make bets on who the psycho will strike next.

2Poppy's by the Tree: Part 2

After a hair-raising encounter with the maniac, Al decides to get the family out of town. But they realize that they are trapped at the motel by a storm and the locals are unwilling to help them. Then things take a turn when Peggy is taken hostage by the ax murderer in a room and Al must rescue her.

3If I Were a Rich Man

Steve takes Al to the vault at the bank where Steve works for a secret after-hours card game, and the next day, one million dollars is reported missing. Al is then treated like a king by Peggy and the kids as well as hostility from Steve and Marcy all of whom mistakenly think Al stole the money.

4Buck Can Do It

Al is loathed to have Buck the dog neutered despite being threatened with lawsuits from numerous neighbors regarding Buck's "nocturnal carnal activities" and resulting in "stupid, ugly puppies" from their dogs. Eventually, Al caves into the pressure by Peggy to have Buck neutered, but only to change his mind from a bizarre dream he has involving the self-loathing, non-monogamous stud that Buck is, since Al himself used to be a zooming stud that he got famous for.

5Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Part 1

6Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Part 2

Marcy loses her composure and her wedding ring when it slips into a dancer's briefs when she slips him a tip. Desperate to keep the news from Steve, Marcy sets out distracting him every chance she gets. However, Zorro the Stripper suddenly shows up at Al's house and returns Marcy's wedding ring to him, who gives it to Steve and tells him about where Marcy was the other night.

7For Whom the Bell Tolls

Al gets heated up over the large phone bill and refuses to pay it, which results in the disconnection of the Bundy phone line, making him the target of hostility from Peggy, the kids and the Rhoades who now take the Bundys phone calls on their phone, especially the ones from Peggy's mother. To make matters worse, there's a streetlight that is also bothering Al which is keeping him awake every night.

8Born to Walk

9Alley of the Dolls

Victory seems assured when Steve agrees to join the Bundys for a family team bowling match against Peggy's arch rival from high school, Mimi, and her obnoxious family. But Bud reveals that he doesn't know how to bowl because he has squandered his bowling lesson money, prompting Steve to coach Bud on the pointers of bowling.

10The Razor's Edge

11How Do You Spell Revenge?

Al, Peggy and Bud are part of a shopping mall softball team playing other mall teams. After losing a few too many games, Al demands that Peggy improve her softball skills or she is off his team. Meanwhile, Kelly's new boyfriend, Brian, asks her to prove her love to him by getting a tattoo.

12Earth Angel

There's a new light in the neighborhood when Bud brings home an attractive, free spirited, 21-year-old artist named Tiffany on her way to art school in New York and everyone likes her, except Marcy for Tiffany steals the attentions of Steve as well.

13You Better Watch Out

The Bundys Christmas Eve is interrupted by a non-traditional visit from Santa Claus when a drunken bum in a Santa suit misses his scheduled appearance at a new mall when his parachute doesn't open and he plummets into the Bundys back yard. While the coroner and his men try to get the corpse out of the place, Al masquerades at Santa to some neighborhood children outside his front door.

14Guys and Dolls

Seeking to relive a childhood hobby, Al and Steve engineer a major league deal: they buy nine classic baseball cards with money obtained by selling Marcy's 20-year-old Barbie doll that she's been saving for the daughter she hopes to have someday. When Marcy discovers her doll is missing and goes into a fit, Al and Steve are forced to go look for the doll in the streets. Meanwhile, Bud deliberately gives the dim-witted Kelly bad assistance to help her with a book report.

15Build a Better Mousetrap

16Master the Possibilities

Al, under the impression that you don't have to pay for anything you didn't order, takes Peggy and Bud on a wild spending spree, and goes with Peggy to a fancy hotel for a weekend getaway when the mailman accidentally leaves a new credit card addressed to Buck the dog.

17Peggy Loves Al - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

On Valentines Day, Kelly hauls in a load of Valentines, while Steve plans to give Marcy a trip to Hawaii. When Marcy finds out from Peggy, she plans to give Steve his Valentine present by jumping out of a life-size cake. Meanwhile, Bud holds a vigil by the mailbox waiting for his first Valentine, while Peggy ponders over the decision on whether or not she'll get the gift she wants from Al for him to say "I Love You."

18The Great Escape

19Im-Po-Dent

20Just Married... with Children

While secretly going through Steve and Marcy's mail, Al and Peggy fill out an application to a TV game show called "How Do I Love Thee" where the objective is a Bundy natural: surviving physical torture from one's spouse. Al and Peggy appear on the show pretending to be Steve and Marcy and they easily win many prizes. But when Steve and Marcy find out, they appear at the end of the show pretending to be Al and Peggy, and the husband that survives the most torture in an electric chair wins a new car.

21Father Lode

After going with Steve to the racetrack, Al is reluctant to reveal that he won $1,200, because he knows that Peggy and the kids will take the money for themselves. While Al tries to throw off Peggy's suspicions with sex, Steve asks for increasingly exuberant bribes of Al's racetrack winnings so he will keep his mouth shut about the money.

22All in the Family

Al's quiet three-day weekend plans to watch his favorite John Wayne movie "Hondo" are ruined when Peggy's eccentric relatives come to visit the Bundy household. They include her unseen, super-obese mother, two feuding gay uncles; the hulking Irwin and the transvestite Otto, as well as a singing and dancing triplet aunts whose show biz career is threatened by Al's bad advice to them. Al then interrupts and ruins a romantic evening between Steve and Marcy to confine with his problems.

1He Thought He Could

2I'm Going to Sweatland

A suspicious Al and Marcy question Peggy's claims that she saw Elvis Presley at the mall outside the shoe store, until Marcy notices that one of Al's shirts has a sweat stain in the shape of the king's face. When Marcy brings the news to her Elvis fan club, the Bundy house is soon overrun by Elvis fans and impersonators, driving Al to stay at the shoe store.

3Poke High

A young football player, named Matt, from Polk High where Kelly and Bud go to school is threatening two Bundy records. One held by Al for the most touchdowns in one season, and the other by Kelly for refusing her advances. So, Kelly resorts to becoming a cheerleader for Polk High's team in order to catch Matt's attention during a big season ending game.

4The Camping Show

The Rhoades and the Bundys head out to the Rhoades cabin in the woods, but the merriment is halted by Kely's PMS. The men leave for a bit to go out fishing, and return to all three women menstruating and hostile. When a bear attacks the car, Al hilariously attempts to stop him.

5Dump of My Own

The rest of the Bundy's endure sacrifices of constant loud noise, loss of living room space, as well as loss of electrical power as Al devotes himself to his lifelong dream: building his personal, exclusive, executive bathroom in the garage with the centerpiece being a mighty Ferguson toilet for his flush. Meanwhile, Peggy seeks money to buy enough lottery tickets to win a multi-million dollar lottery.

6Her Cups Runneth Over

To cheer up Peggy on her birthday, Al and Steve travel to "Francine's of Hollywood," lingerie shop in Wisconsin where lies the solution to Peggy's clothing crisis: a missing bra. Meanwhile, Marcy tries to cheer up Peggy in her way by hiring a male stripper.

7The Bald and the Beautiful

Desperate Al and Steve put their heads together seeking solutions to impending baldness when Steve begins to notice his receding hairline, whereas Al doesn't care at all. After unsuccessfully trying some hair tonic for themselves, Steve tries joining a club for bald men called Bald American Dudes (BAD) and brings Al along with him who holds their latest meeting at the shoe store.

8The Gypsy Cried

9Requiem for a Dead Barber

After the death of his longtime barber, Al lets his hair down rather than tolerate a visit to a stylist or a salon... staffed by women. When Al backs down and goes to a salon, he gets a really bad hairstyle that makes him look like a woman.

10Eatin' Out

The Bundy's go out to a fancy restaurant to spend a great windfall, an inheritance check for $237 from a late uncle of Peggy's. But it becomes apparent that the fine dinning in public is not a part of the dysfunctional Bundy lifestyle, which makes matters worse when Al forgets to bring the check.

11My Mom, the Mom

While Al teaches responsibility and the meaning of the dollar to Bud by taking him to the shoe store for the day, Peggy does the same in her own inimitable style to all that will listen to her during a Mother-Daughter career day at Kelly's high school where she becomes the star attraction as the lazy, conniving housewife to the other women there.

12Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me

After Kelly gets into trouble at school for playing a prank on Polk High's tap dancing club, she is given a choice of expulsion or to join the tap dance club. Kelly reluctantly joins and must do a tap dance recital for the school with some tutoring from Steve and Marcy. But Kelly drops the idea at the last moment and does another dance more exciting and erotic with the handsome janitor named Bruno. Meanwhile, Al thinks Peggy is part of a conspiracy with other wives of deliberately misplacing their spouses socks.

13The Harder They Fall

While driving Peggy back from the video store, Steve gets cut off in traffic and Peggy gives the driver "the finger." Steve then asks the Bundys to come over at his and Marcy's house to watch some videos as protection when he's afraid of a violent reprisal when he is followed home by the man. When there's a knock on the front door, Al convinces Steve to take the first punch... and Steve ends up knocking down a midget.

14A Three Job, No Income Family

Al finally convinces Peggy to contribute to the household income but feels emasculated when Peggy starts bringing home huge "commish" checks from her cosmetics sales job, earning more money than Al, himself. Even Al's new part-time job as a crew member at Burger Trek can't put him back in the lead as family breadwinner. Things go from bad to worse when Al finds the book containing the names of Peggy's customers.

15I'll See You in Court

In an attempt to revive their sex life, Peggy (at Marcy's suggestion) takes Al to the Hop-On-In Motel. They discover a couple of familiar faces on the adult video channel: Steve and Marcy's. When Steve points out that Al and Peggy must have been video taped too, Al and Marcy want to break some legs, while Peggy and Steve decide to sue. In court, graphic details of the Bundys miserable sex life come out, which leave the jury so unimpressed that despite the verdict in their favor, they award the Bundys nothing... but they award the Rhoades $10,000.

16The House That Peg Lost

After asking the Bundys to watch their house for the day, Marcy and Steve return to find a big hole where their house once stood. It seems that Peggy had earlier that day mistakenly told a wrecking crew looking to demolish Steve's Road House and she directed them to Steve 'Rhoades' house instead. So the Rhoades are forced to spend the night at the Bundy house. Meanwhile, Kelly throws a slumber party for four of her girlfriends, but Bud ends up disrupting it and turns it into a "cat-fight" riot.

17Married... with Prom Queen: Part 1

Peggy spends $2,800 of Al's hard earned money ($2,000 on phone bills, $500 on a new dress, and $300 on makeup) when she decides to attend hers and Al's high school reunion dance at Polk High, where Peggy makes a desperate effort to get herself elected prom queen. But she may be outdone by her old rival, Connie Bender. Also, Connie's husband, Jack, an old rival of Al's, eyes a possible fistfight they never had in school.

18Married... with Prom Queen: The Sequel

Peggy stands to lose the crown to Connie, until Al finally decides to stand up to Connie's husband Jack. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly crash the party to pig out on some real food since they are never fed at home, where Peggy takes advantage of the fight between Al and Jack outside to get the kids help in rigging the election.

19The Dateless Amigo

After his two best friends find dates for themselves, Bud is desperately seeking Susan, or any girl that will date him. So, Bud resorts to getting a life-size mannequin to pose as his date for the evening. Meanwhile, Al comes up with a million dollar invention for a shoe salesmen's convention that looks desperate, called "Shoe Lights"; he takes the headlights and battery out of the car and straps them on Kelly's shoes.

20The Computer Show

Against Al's objection, Peggy buys a home computer for the kids to help them in their schoolwork. But it gets more use of as a hat rack when no one wants to use it, while Al begins to hear the computer talking to him and taunting him about his inferior life, while at the same time, Al tries to train the not-so-bright Buck to fetch his bedroom slippers.

21Life's a Beach

Seeking a tad more family togetherness, Al declares, "Bundy Day at the Beach", in which he takes the family to a local beach on Lake Michigan where Bud and Kelly compete with each other to find some dates for themselves while an old flame, named Marilyn Beamis, finds Al.

22Here's Looking at You, Kid

1Hot off the Grill

On Labor Day, the gender roles are reversed when Al becomes the loafing one while he forces Peggy to prepare the backyard barbecue for his creation of the famous "Bundy Burgers." But one of the secret ingredients to them are the ashes of Marcy's dead aunt which was stolen by Kelly from the Rhodes house.

2Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics

Peggy wins a two week visit from a certain Jim Jupiter, the "healthiest man in Chicago," which soon turns into a test of wills between Peggy and the TV aerobics instructor who succumbs to Peggy's lazy lifestyle of smoking and eating junk food. When Jim Jupiter literally drops dead afterwords on his TV show, Peggy surprisingly begins to suffer from a rare form of guilt.

3Buck Saves the Day

Kelly and Bud need to raise money for concert tickets for themselves, so Bud sells Al as a camping guide, and Kelly cheats at a poker game with Peggy's friends. With Steve and Bud along for the ride, Al has to take a bunch of kids camping and they end up stranded in the woods and only Buck can save them.

4Tooth or Consequences

A toothache forces Al to see Marcy's dentist, a divorced man that devotes as much of his time to his work as he does to his young female dental assistant, who's ironically named T.C. At the same time, Al pressers Peggy to cook a square meal for him for just one day.

5He Aint Much, But Hes Mine

Peggy begins to suspect that Al is cheating because he seems to have a lot of different excuses on why he is coming home later than usual. Peggy meets Ginger at her beauty salon. Ginger is a young woman who admits she is sleeping around with another woman's husband and Peggy thinks it could be Al that she is sleeping with. Marcy goes to Peggy's salon and gets a new look, that Steve hates. Peggy is worried that Al is cheating on her and she is determined to get answers.

6Fair Exchange

The Bundys can feast on the $500 a month they receive for hosting a French foreign exchange student. But the beautiful French girl, Yvette, soon turns Kelly's social life into famine, which prompts Kelly to take action to get her own social life back.

7Desperately Seeking Miss October

When a Playboy playmate walks into Al's shoe store, he's eager to get home and look up her October 1987 issue. But Al is a broken man when he finds out that Peggy has sold his entire Playboy collection to get money to buy a good luck charm to win the lottery. The ghost of Al's father later appears and convinces him to get some self-respect.

8976-SHOE

Al decides to open a shoe emergency hot-line with help from Steve in the form of a $50,000 loan. But typically, Al's get-rich-quick scheme backfires when nobody phones in. When Marcy gives Al a second $50,000 loan to repay the original loan, the Bundys and the Rhoades join together in a downward spiral of failure when Al instead sinks the second $50,000 into his failing shoe hot-line, which results in Steve losing his job at the bank, Marcy getting demoted, and Al ending up being the loser as always.

9Oh, What a Feeling

When the Dodge finally gives its death rattle, Al digs up his secret car-fund shoe box and trades the Dodge for a ride to the local dealership. When Bud opens the shoe box, he finds not $5,000, but a mere $800... and a red hair. Al spends the rest of the episode trying to buy something that goes "vroom!"

10At the Zoo

Newly unemployed Steve decides he doesn't really want to work, so he fritters away his days with the Bundys, visiting zoos and taking fishing trips. The strain this puts on Steve's relationship with Marcy who ends up going out with Al to a local bar where they swap stories about their failing marriages. But the conversation between Al and Marcy reaches its peak when Marcy has to decide whether to use the $25,000 reward she earned by foiling a bank robbery, sustaining a gunshot wound in the process, to buy a new car or to bail out Steve, who has been arrested for "rescuing" Bosco the tortoise from the local zoo.

11It's a Bundyful Life: Part 1

On Christmas Eve, Al plans the best Bundy Christmas by withdrawing money from his secret savings account to buy the selfish and ungrateful Peggy and the kids presents. When Al can't get to Marcy's bank on time, he tries a ill-fated cash motivated plan for a day care center which leaves him sad and alone with no money

12It's a Bundyful Life: Part 2

When Al Bundy gets fed up with how his family treats him, he wishes he was never born. His guardian angel arrives to face the ungrateful man and shows him what life would be like without him. Peggy is married to a wealthy socialite named, Norman Jablonsky and is a wonderful mother and housewife. Kelly is a college student genius and child prodigy in French and writing. Bud is not a dysfunctional nerd, but a ladies man and also a genius. Norman reveals that he's planning to buy a mansion for all of them to live in. Then he shows Al, where Marcy lives. She is still married to Steve and has three children. Unlike the perfect Jablonsky family, she has developed Peg-like manners when she refuses to cook and clean for him, causing him to inherit Al-like manners. He's very miserable and works in a shoe store. This finally give the misanthropic Al a clue, that in wishing he was never born, not only are Peg, Bud and Kelly are happy, but Marcy and Steve are miserable. He decides he wants to live and give spending time with his family another shot.

13Who'll Stop the Rain

Al desperately tries to fix the house's leaking roof during the weekend of a long rainstorm. But each time Al falls off the roof, it makes Peggy and the kids wonder if he's too stupid or too cheap to call a roofer to do the job. Meanwhile, Steve lands another job at a pet store in which Marcy suffers side affects after getting bitten by a venomous guinea pig.

14A Taxing Problem

15Rock and Roll Girl

When Al challenges the selfish and ungrateful family members to earn a dollar of their own, Peggy tries scamming money from others because of her loath for working. Meanwhile, Bud appoints himself as Kelly's agent a lands her a job as a 'rock video slut'.

16You Gotta Know When to Hold Them: Part 1

Steve is history after he OK's a divorce from Marcy and leaves her in the middle of the night, leaving behind a note saying that he has gone to become a park ranger at Yosemite National Park. While Bud unsuccessfully tries to score with a man-less Marcy, Peggy talks her into a "just girls" vacation to Las Vegas, where they lose $5,000 of Al's money.

17You Gotta Know When to Fold Them: Part 2

Al and the kids travel to Las Vegas to try to get the ladies out of the hole they are in. After an unsuccessful attempt to win their money back at the roulette table, Al agrees to try to win $10,000 by staying three minutes in the ring with GLOW wrestler "Big Bad Momma," a huge monster of a woman.

18What Goes Around Came Around

Al is all excited when he's asked to speak at his high school reunion dance at Polk High. At the dance, while Al rambles on and on about the unhappily married man, Peggy finds herself being wooed by a teacher, Kelly trying to please two dates, and Bud plotting revenge against his date, Heather McCoy, who humiliated him years earlier by running his underwear up a flagpole.

19Peggy Turns 300

Al plans a special evening for Peggy's birthday by taking her out to the Bowlarama where he hopes to finally beat his arch rival's high game score of 220. Al beats the score, but minutes later, Peggy bowls a perfect game, destroying Al's chauvinist self-esteem.

20Peggy Made a Little Lamb

Peggy discovers that she never graduated from high school because she flunked one class: home economics. Now she must go back to school and pass the class with Kelly who is trying to graduate from high school herself. Peggy is forced to cook a rack of lamb, Jello for Kelly. Elswhere, Bud continues to try to get the newly single Marcy's attention.

21Rain Girl

When Kelly realizes that she's not intelligent or literate enough to attend college, she has to take a job at a TV station where she quickly moves from an intern to a $1,000-a-week weather bunny forcing the current weatherman to storm off now leaving Kelly with her new manager Al, a $250,000 a year contract offer.

22The Agony of De-Feet

Al is having nightmares about feet which is keeping him awake every night. Then, Al is overjoyed when he volunteers to be a judge for a beauty contest at the shoe store which ends his nightmares... so it seems. Meanwhile, Kelly successfully tricks a drunken Marcy and a love-starved Bud into thinking that they slept with each other.

23Yard Sale

Peggy will buy anything at a yard sale, so when she brings home a boar's head, there's no more room in the garage to put it. So, Al decides enough is enough and he decides to have his own yard sale, despite Peggy's protests. But the stuff he is selling is stuff only Peggy would be stupid enough to buy. Al's next idea is to create "Bundyland, the happiest place on Earth," which is a collection of all the junk items Peggy bought in their own back yard.

1We'll Follow the Sun

On Labor Day weekend, with Kelly having graduated from high school, Peggy still not working, Bud in his senior year in high school, and Marcy officially divorced and having gotten a promotion at her bank, Al decides to take the family for a vacation and see American by car in their red Volvo convertible. But they end up being caught in a 50-mile traffic jam on the Chicago freeway the entire weekend.

2Al... with Kelly

Al and Kelly pretend to be sick so they can avoid going with Peggy and Bud to Peggy's mother's place. But Kelly ends up really getting sick and Al has to care for her for the entire week which interrupts Al's fantasies of being with two beautiful women.

3Sue Casa, His Casa

4The Unnatural

5Dance Show

6Kelly Bounces Back

Now an aspiring model, Kelly invents a maneuver called "The Bundy Bounce" for her first audition as spokesperson for the new Allente car. But Bud's big mouth gives the idea to another model, so Kelly must take things into her own hands and remove the competition. Meanwhile, Peggy goes on a strike with housework because Al think's she's useless.

7Married... with Aliens

After Al returns home from work with a bump on the head, he sees (or thinks he sees) six little green aliens coming down to Earth and stealing his smelly socks to use as fuel for their spaceships. The only problem is no one sees them but Al, so everyone think's he's crazy when he tells others that he saw them.

8Wabbit Season

Al is under pressure from one too many busy days at the shoe store and the doctors have ordered him to relax. To combat stress, Al starts a vegetable garden. The combat turns physical when a rabbit starts sealing carrots from Al's garden and it becomes a war of wills: Bundy against Bunny.

9Do Ya Think Im Sexy

When Al moves a sofa off a neighbor's lawn without a shirt on, he unexpectedly gains a reputation as a "stud" among the neighborhood women. Uplifted, he starts taking showers and wearing elegant clothes, and his performance at work improves dramatically, as does his popularity with the ladies. Needless to say, Peggy is both jealous and unsettled - her husband is acting very unlike-Al.

10One Down, Two to Go

11And Baby Makes Money

After Al's bachelor uncle dies, he leaves $500,000 to the first of his relatives to produce a newborn baby named after him. Al overcomes his usual aversion to sex with Peg. Unknown to him, she is secretly staying on the pill, to keep Al wanting sex with her, and having decided that no amount of money is worth going through pregnancy a third time.

12Married ... with Who

After a drinking binge at a bankers party, Marcy reveals herself to be married to a mysterious hunk named Jefferson D'Arcy, whom Al finds out to be a gigolo and con artist. To make Marcy feel better to this unexpected change in her life, Peggy decides to throw a formal wedding ceremony for Marcy and Jefferson in the Bundy's back yard, in which nothing goes a planned.

13The Godfather

14Look Whos Barking

Told from the point of view of Buck, he runs away from the house feeling neglected. Behind a diner, he picks up a female dog, whom he brings home. He quickly regrets it, as the new dog gets all the attention from Bud and Kelly. Meanwhile, Al is obsessed with getting a taste of his favorite cherry cheesecake from a restaurant in Wisconsin.

15A Mans Castle

After spending $2,000 by going to decorating school, Peggy defies Al degree not to redecorate by turning his bathroom sanctuary in the garage into a chamber of "filthy, feminine horror." Al passes out when he sees his mighty Ferguson toilet adorned with Peggy's trappings.

16All-Nite Security Dude

When a second floor aerobics studio, full of terribly overweight women, collapses into the shoe store, Al is laid off while the store is being repaired. Al then gets a night job as a security guard at his old high school, Polk High. This prompts his former high school rival, Spare Tire Dixon, to steal his prized trophy which leads to a brutal showdown.

17Oldies But Young Uns

Al is haunted by a tune on the radio he can hum but not name, and he gets no help from Peggy or the D'Arcy's. Al similarly haunts Kelly's new boyfriend, Vinnie Verducci, the son of his fellow lowlife friend, Charlie Verducci, when Al warns Vinnie to only look and not touch, which is not easy for Vinnie.

18Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers

Al forgoes giving money to Bud for a class trip to Washington DC in order to give to Kelly who's going to an audition for the Miss Weenie Tot spokesperson. When Kelly lands the spot, Al gets a year's supply of his favorite mock food: Weenie Tots. But since uncooked tots rapidly disintegrate upon contact with the air, Peggy manages to spoil every single box while searching for a winning lottery ticket. When Al discovers that he's not eligible for the lottery money since Kelly is now an employee of the Weenie Tot Company, he asks Marcy and Jefferson to accept the money for him.

19Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?

Al and Peggy go over to watch a video at Marcy and Jefferson's house and proceed to take over the place. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly seek gainful jobs for themselves, but only Bud gains with his first girlfriend, while Kelly babysits a family of seven kids from Hell.

20Top of the Heap

In the inner city slums of Chicago, divorcée Charlie Verducci and his incredibly dumb, 20-year-old son, Vinnie, are superintendents of a run-down apartment building. Vinnie is recovering from a boxing match that he lost the other night while fending off come-ons from their local teenage neighbor Mona Mullins. Feeling bored with their miserable lives, Charlie comes up with a "Verducci Master Plan": he and Vinnie secretly crash a formal, high society fund-raiser to meet some wealthy women for themselves hoping Vinnie will marry a débutante, while Charlie himself fends off come-ons from a rather large rich woman. They also visit Charlie's friend, Al, at the shoe store to exchange some facts of life about women, where Al is revealed to have lost his TV set in a bet due to Vinnie's poor boxing ability.

21You Better Shop Around: Part 1

Al cannot afford to buy an air conditioner for the hot summer. After an attempt to install an old experimental model, (which results in a neighborhood blackout) Al moves his family into the local supermarket. After a while, they are told by the owner to buy something or they will be kicked out. After doing so, Al cuts in front of Marcy and becomes the one millionth customer to leave the store. The prize is a shopping spree worth $1,000.

22You Better Shop Around: Part 2

23Route 666: Part 1

While on their way to Los Angeles for a "Shoe Convention," the Bundy's car breaks down in the small town of Lucifer, New Mexico where they meet an old prospector who gives them a map to an old gold mine in the area in exchange for their car. They phone Marcy and Jefferson who come to the rescue, thinking that the kids are dying. But it turns out that Al and Peggy want their money for the mine deal. Then the six of them go off in search for the gold...

24Route 666: Part 2

Al, Peggy, Kelly, Bud, Jefferson, and Marcy find the gold mine in the desert. Al discovers the first gold nugget and everyone but the feeble-minded Kelly winds up with a bag full of gold. Al and Peggy have two separate fantasies of how to spend it. But after three days of digging, it's revealed that they're stuck in a tourist attraction seeded with fools gold for the tourists to find. The Bundys and D'Arcys aren't pleased with this turn of events, until they notice the gold watches, rings, and earrings the tourists are wearing...

25Buck the Stud

A man offers the Bundy's $10,000 if Buck will breed with his champion dog, Lady Bird. So, Al has to coach Buck into knowing the varieties of breeding with other dogs the proper way. But needless to say it goes wrong and Al is stuck with the bill. Meanwhile, Kelly becomes Bud's fashion counselor and dresses him up in medieval costumes.

1Shes Having a Baby: Part 1

Marcy and Jefferson announce that they are expecting a baby, sending Al into pearls of laughter saying that it's the end of Jefferson's life, until Peggy announces the same. Al begins to lose his hair at an accelerated rate, thinking it's the end of the world for him. Kelly and Bud aren't pleased with the news either and take it out on Al.

2Shes Having a Baby: Part 2

Peggy and Marcy's constant demands for belly rubbing and expensive baby accessories drive Al crazy, prompting him to make a run for it. He and Jefferson end up at a bar connected to the bus station and watch semi-nude dancing girls while talking about a new and better life without their wives.

3If Al Had a Hammer

When Al unearths his father's old hammer, he decides to turn the garage into his own private room to escape his pregnant wife. All goes well, until Jefferson and the guys crash in. Even worse, it's only a matter of time before their own pregnant spouses find out.

4Cheese, Cues, and Blood

Kelly earns a quick $1,000 at hustling pool to buy a gown for the local Miss Cheese competition, and a suspicious Al is out for blood, mistakenly thinking that Kelly is into prostitution. Al is then is out of blood when he sells his to get Kelly and manager Jefferson the money for a major pool game bet.

5Lookin for a Desk in All the Wrong Places

While Peggy is away helping Marcy recover her precious childhood belongings that Jefferson abandoned in a storage locker to be auctioned off in which he pocked and gambled away the money, Al, Kelly, and Bud hold an anti-baby meeting and makes plans for a new "Bundy World Order" that includes food, clean clothes and a huge hooter-ed oriental maid to replace the "pegzilla" Peggy.

6Buck Has a Belly Ache

7If I Could See Me Now

8Gods Shoes

9Kelly Does Hollywood: Part 1

Al finally gets cable TV installed in the Bundy household, but he cannot find anything good to watch. All that changes when Kelly, gibed out of an appearance on a public access TV by her modeling school teacher, gets her own talk show on the air with just $35 from her girlfriends. "Vital Social Issues N' Stuff With Kelly," features an all girl band and some of her friends discussing subjects such as "mens butts" and "the slut of the week."

10Kelly Does Hollywood: Part 2

Al, Kelly, and Bud travel to Hollywood after Kelly's talk show becomes a hit with the TV networks in which Al tries to get into show business with his lame TV show ideas, Bud tries to score with some of the actresses, and Kelly is happy to be a star.

11Al Bundy, Shoe Dick

Mistaken identity turns Al from a shoe salesman into a P.I. hired by Vanessa Van Pelt, a young femme fatal who fears that her family members may interfere with her expected bequest of a priceless gem from her uncle. Before that can happen, the uncle is murdered, the gem disappears... and Al is left holding the knife.

12So This Is How Sinatra Felt

Peggy sends Bud and Kelly to spy on Al at the shoe store for the day to confirm her suspicion that Al's recent giddiness is the work of an extramarital affair rather than Al's claim that he's only been flirting with a "shoe groupie" at the shoe store.

13I Who Have Nothing

14The Mystery of Skull Island

As Grandmaster B, Bud does his coolest best while all over a girl who takes him out to non-traditional Bundy things such as rafting and sky diving. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy invite Marcy and Jefferson over to play a new board game called "Ethical Dilemma."

15Just Shoe It

Al is asked to appear in an athletic shoe commercial. Al, being Polk High's 1966 all city running back and shoe salesman is glad to reclaim his glory days. But Al ends up being a punching bag by Ed "Too Tall" Jones, Steve Carlton and Sugar Ray Leonard for the commercial.

16Rites of Passage

17The Egg and I

When Steve Rhoades returns to Chicago to reclaim his estranged wife, Marcy. He's unaware that she had remarried to Jefferson D'Arcy until he sneaks into his old house and finds out the truth from her in his old bedroom. Meanwhile, the Bundys tries to help him avoid the FBI agents who believes he's involved in a priceless egg theft.

18My Dinner with Anthrax

It's Al and Peggy's 20th wedding anniversary, but Peggy only wants one thing from Al....S-E-X. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud win the "My Dinner With Anthrax" contest which means a house party for the trash metal band. But there will be no party unless they can get rid of mom and dad first. The answer? Tricking them into taking a Florida vacation that turns out to be a time share sales scam where the salesman won't leave them alone. Back home, the house party gets dull with no food in the house and 10 feet of snow outside.

19Psychic Avengers

Al is a broken man after the Bundys can no longer afford to buy a weekly TV Guide. When Jefferson arrives at their house with a fistful of cash, Al discovers that he has been running a psychic phone scam called "Madame Zelda." To keep him quiet about his scam, Jefferson decides to let Al in on the deal. But Al soon takes over the whole operation and the rest of the family joins in. When Al decides to unite the five psychic bosses of Chicago, he insults the feared Madame Inga, who decides to throw a curse on the Bundys.

20High I.Q.

An invitation to join the high intelligence Alpha club, is issued to Kelly and not Bud. When they discover the real reason behind the gathering, Kelly and Bud decide to handle things with the usual Bundy charm (and violence). Meanwhile, Al buys a new "Handyman's Workbench 5000" that has some assembly required. This challenge requires the combined skills of Al and Jefferson while Peggy and Marcy watch and enjoy the show by taking pictures and counting the number of times the men injure themselves.

21Teacher Pets

Bud's belief that his 40-year-old teacher is romantic interested in him is greeted by laughter from everyone. But another student smells the smoke and wants the fire for herself. Meanwhile, Peggy has a cold which prompts Al to keep his distance by going out every night to a Chuck-E-Cheese restaurant for some free pizza by crashing little kids birthdays parties. Can Bud keep two girls or will he suffer from a humiliating Bundy defeat?

22The Goodbye Girl

When Kelly's modeling school suddenly closes down, she gets a new job as a greeter at the TV World theme park. When this is threatened by her low performance ratings, Kelly gets switched into Commercial Land where she plays "the Verminator" who hunts down roaches, like Bud. Meanwhile, Al takes his annual "Bundy World Tour,": a week-long trip around the world by himself, in the Bundy living room.

23The Gas Station Show

Al turns sentimental after watching the movie "Shenandoah" on TV, so he proclaims to the family that it is now "Bundy Sunday Funday." But first they all must push the Dodge to a gas station. But Al is broke after finding only $2 on him after filling up the car. After the rest of the starving Bundys raid the convenience store for junk food, Al is stuck working off his deb for the gas and food at the pumps.

24England Show I

The Bundys win a free trip to England, courtesy of the village of Lower Uncton, which can rid itself of a centuries long curse by riding the world of male Bundys, and there are only two left, Al and Bud. Back in 1653, an ancestor of Al's, Shamus McBundy, a chauvinist blacksmith, insulted a fat, ugly witch who then imposed a curse on all future Bundys and the town which sits in a time warp of permanent darkness. The Lower Uncton residents, led by historical Winston, and his cohort Igor try to lure Al and Bud in their town limits to kill them end the curse while the rival Upper Uncton residents, led by assassin-for-hire Trevor, must endure they die outside the town so the curse does not get lifted and ruin their reputation as a tourist town.

25England Show II: Wastin the Companys Money

After shopping in London a while longer and eating heartily, unaware of the several attempts on their lives by Trevor the Upper Uncton assassin, the Bundys arrive in Lower Uncton, minus Kelly who decides to stay behind in London because she likes the city. Meanwhile, Marcy and Jefferson continue their quest to find their lost luggage and money after following the Bundys to England. That night at a London disco club, Kelly receives a warning from Trevor who tells her that her family is in danger and she must somehow find her way to Lower Uncton before it's too late.

26England Show III: Were Spending as Fast as We Can

Al and Bud finally realize that their lives are in danger after finding themselves on a hanging podium with the torch-wielding townspeople in front of them. Kelly arrives in the nick of time to rescue all of them. But the Lower Uncton residents, led by Winston, chase the Bundys to the border with Upper Uncton where the residents, led by Trevor, are waiting for them. Caught between the two competing mobs, the Bundys fate will determine on Al's ability to joust when Winston and Trevor make peace on concession sales. Meanwhile, Marcy and Jefferson are finally enjoying their vacation in London when they take shelter in a theater "bondage club."

1Magnificent Seven

The Bundys have another mouth to feed when Peggy's cousin Zemus and his wife, Ida Mae, pay a quick visit and leave behind their five-year-old son Seven, who's captivating to Peggy (and only Peggy). She sees this as her chance to be a "great mother," or at least try.

2T-R-A Something, Something Spells Tramp

3Every Bundy Has a Birthday

When Peggy discovers that no one knows Seven's birthday, she picks one at random, Al's. He is understandably not pleased when he has lost his birthday to the new kid. Peggy decides to have a small party for Seven's 6th birthday at a local park. But the party fizzles when a snobbish rich parent arrives and declares the park private for his own son's party.

4Al on the Rocks

When Peggy uses up the monthly mortgage to pay Seven's doctor bill, Al is forced to take a second job bar-tending at a topless bar, but its a male strip club where the bartender and all other men are topless. Al enjoys his job, but when Jefferson covers for Al for one day, he takes Al's job. Meanwhile, Peggy starts banning Kelly and Bud from the house to protect Seven from their germs.

5What I Did for Love

The way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, but it's not the heart that's sought by Peggy who's tired of being ignored by Al in the bedroom. So she tries a variety of exciting new outfits in an attempt to wet the appetite of a starving Al. But the only thing Al wants is a cooked steak for dinner.

6Frat Chance

To meet girls, Bud starts his own community college fraternity, "Alpha Gunna Get em," with the only members being Hindu convenience store clerk Achmed, geek Francis, and retiree Gus. But the premier toga party, (in the Bundy garage) lacks fun and women.

7The Chicago Wine Party

On Election Day, all of the Bundys (minus Seven) hit the voting booths, united to defeat political correctness and a new two cent beer tax. When their causes lose at the polls, the Bundys hit the streets for some good old-fashioned pillaging.

8Kelly Doesnt Live Here Anymore

Al decides that another Bundy must get a job and the ax falls on Kelly. This breaks Peggy's heart since no Wanker woman has ever worked before. After taking a job at a grease spoon diner, Kelly must experience the wonderful world of waitressing prior to her true calling as Kelly Bundy: Philosopher/Waitress.

9Rock of Ages

When his paycheck is taken by bill collectors, Al decides to do something with his non-life: he enters a shoe selling contest and wins. The prize is a first class ticket to Hawaii which the family turns into four stand-bys. After dumping Seven off with the D'Arcys, the Bundys travel to Chicago's O'Hara Airport where in an surprising twist, Al masquerades as an aging 1960s rock star, named 'Axel Bundy' from the group 'Shoes and Socks' in which they hob-nob into the first class lounge with six famous musicians, Richie Havens, Spencer Davis, John Sebastian, Robby Krieger, Peter Noone, and Mark Lindsay.

10Death of a Shoe Salesman

11The Old College Try

Thanks to a college grant of $25,000, Bud is ready to leave home and start the good life at college, until Al and Peggy discover the money. Being the selfish petty criminals they are, they grant the money for themselves, and go on a wild spending spree in just one day that leaves Bud with zero.

12Christmas

In the company of his peers at a bar with other Santas, mall Santa Al recalls Christmases past when he managed to avoid getting gifts to Peggy, Kelly, and Bud by turning them against each other (shown in a pseudo flashback to 1974). But this year the family shows a united front when they give Al his present, the jobs he has to work to get the money he needs to buy presents for Peggy and the kids. One job for Al is playing Santa Claus at the mall where Marcy and Jefferson get another opportunity to taunt and browbeat Al.

13Wedding Show

The Bundys are going to a family wedding for Al's cousin. But Peggy can't decide what to wear, so while she dresses (and redresses) Al waits and daydreams. Meanwhile, Kelly color coordinates with two fellow bridesmaids, deciding that tight black leather is always best, and Bud gets to know the young bride to be much better than he should!

14It Doesnt Get Any Better Than This

It's no vacation for Al when Peggy and Marcy join him on his winter fishing trip and make him referee to their constant bickering. Meanwhile, Kelly, Bud and Seven, left behind with no food or money, help Jefferson spend all of Marcy's money.

15Heels on Wheels

Working at the diner is getting to Kelly, so she decides to rebel by getting a motorcycle which Peggy deems as too dangerous, until Peggy tries it for herself and gets some good vibrations. But it's Al who really takes to the new bike and imagines himself as an "easy rider,"... at least until an untimely head-on meeting with the Dodge.

16Mr. Empty Pants

Peggy decides to take up a hobby by drawing Al and in so doing, creates her own magazine cartoon of Al makes him famous: the hapless shoe salesman titled "Mr. Empty Pants". Al would prefer the fame to be fleeting, until another magazine (Playgirl) declares him to be a sex symbol.

17You Cant Miss

After one too many dateless Saturdays, Bud appears on a new TV dating game show called "You Can't Miss" for the less experienced, but not quite with the expected results. Meanwhile, the low IQ Kelly believes that there's a conspiracy to keep her from knowing what day it is.

18Peggy and the Pirates

Peggy narrates her own pirate fantasy to Seven as a bedtime story. In the story, Peggy plays Princess Scarlett. Al is Captain Courage, her pirate captor and Jefferson is Prince Paco her savior. Rounding out the cast is Bud playing the hunchback first mate Fluvio; Kelly as the dim-witted ship's navigator; Marcy playing the cabin boy/girl; and in a surprise appearance, Marcy's ex-husband Steve Rhodes playing the villainous Rubio the Cruel who's feared for his terrible singing of show tunes.

19Go for the Old

20Un-Alful Entry

After Al knocks out and captures a burglar that breaks into his house one night while he's sleeping on the couch after an argument with Peggy, he becomes a neighborhood hero. But the tables soon turn when the burglar sues Al for injuring him and the Bundys must go to court once again.

21Movie Show

Kelly breaks a date to accept her parents invitation to celebrate her 21st birthday by going to the movies with them, where she finds her boyfriend there with another woman. Meanwhile, Bud tries unsuccessfully (several times) to find a girl to sit next to him, and Al is bored that the movie has no sex or violence in it.

22Til Death Do Us Part

Al's poor bedroom performance makes him the laughingstock of the entire town after another night with Peggy, even though the only person she tells about it is Marcy. Al then decides to get in shape for the real deal to get his self-confidence back.

23Tis Time to Smell the Roses

Al takes a $12,000 offer for early retirement from the shoe store, but Peggy finds the money and spends all of it in one hour by shopping. Al is forced to go back to work where he hears opportunity knocking with a chance to buy a shoe store called "Home Plate Athletic Shoes." Meanwhile, Charlene Tilton visits the Bundy house trying to sell them an "Abdomenizer."

24Old Insurance Dodge

While Al waits for the insurance company to settle on the theft on his Dodge, he test drives possible replacements: a Lincoln, a Mercedes, etc. Meanwhile, Kelly seeks a car of her own. When the fast talking salesman tells her the car's price is 50K's she starts collecting K's from books, newspapers, etc.

25The Wedding Repercussions

26The Proposition

1A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?

When Al manages to get two prime tickets to a charity all-star basketball game, Peggy spoils his fun by insisting she come along. Things turn even worse for Al when she trades seats with him just before his former seat is chosen for a $10,000 free-throw contest. Meanwhile, Kelly tries to get herself basketball player Vlade Divac.

2Hood in the Boyz

Al is thrilled when his childhood girlfriend asks for his help in dealing with a young thug and his gang who have been harassing her at the inner city convenience store where she now works. But how does Al explain it to Peggy? Simply put: Al checks himself and Peggy into a local hotel near the rough neighborhood and sneaks out to confront the thug Ray-Ray and his gang, only to get beaten up by the youths again and again.

3Proud to Be Your Bud?

The other Bundys think Bud has flipped out when they overhear his basement conversion with his 'cool' alter-ego who arrives from another universe and shows Bud the tactics on picking up women. Meanwhile, Al has a personal battle of his own with a voice-over phone service to order a purchase for a new spare part for the Dodge.

4Luck of the Bundys

When Al's luck starts turning good, as well as the rest of the Bundys, (Bud being accepted to a prestigious college, Kelly quitting her waitress job for an acting career, and Peggy wining a lot of money at Bingo) he knows that sooner or later he is doomed thanks to the Bundy curse for everything will turn bad.

5Banking on Marcy

Marcy tries to overcome her fear of public speaking by fantasizing that she's elsewhere (having sex in the bedroom), which is a real treat for the audience. But the only people that are turned off by Marcy's simulated lovemaking skills are an embarrassed Jefferson, a shocked Peggy, and a disgusted Al who's hooked on rap videos.

6No Chicken, No Check

Convinced they can share, Kelly and Bud pool their money together so they can buy a car for themselves, which both want, but neither will surrender, for a time alone in the car with their drive-in movie dates. Meanwhile, Al is happy after he intimidates Peggy into buying him some meat from the supermarket.

7Take My Wife, Please

On Halloween night, the Grim Reaper (in the form of a dark-haired, pasty-faced Peggy) finally answers Al's inadvertent long cried call for death and won't leave him until one of his family members say that they need him. Meanwhile, Marcy convinces Peggy, Bud, Kelly and Jefferson to impersonate the Village People at a party she's hosting honoring female spouse murderers.

8Scared Single

Al hires Aaron, a recent Polk high school graduate to work in his shoe store for the summer. Aaron sees Al as a hero and when he announces of his decision to marry, Al takes full advantage by giving the boy the benefit of wisdom not to ever marry and become like him and millions of other long-suffering married men: losers. Meanwhile, while working as the Verminator, Kelly accidentally gets a face-full of bug spray which causes her to start behaving very strangely.

9No Maam

When Al and his friends gets fed up with the women taking over their Giggly Room and their bowling night, thanks to both Jerry Springer and Marcy D'Arcy. They form a secret organization called No MA'AM and hold him hostage in his own show in an audience filled with men donning the No MA'AM shirts. They intend to perform television's first sexorcism which includes them forcing him in watching hours of pro-wrestling. They'll also force him to wear a stinky, yellow undershirt and a pair of boxers with the words "It's All Me" until the women who took over their Giggly Room and their bowling night comply to their demands.

10Dances with Weezy

11Change for a Buck

Lacking attention, Buck decides to run away from home and the rest of the family doesn't discover that he's gone until a week later which is the time limit for dogs at the pound where Buck winds up. Al is then torn between going with the family to look for Buck and going to the nudie bar with Jefferson for a "Wrestle Till You Raw" night.

12A Little Off the Top

13The Worst Noel

On Christmas Eve, Kelly and Bud try to sneak in a jukebox to give to their parents who spend the entire show sitting in front of their TV set arguing with each other over the proper speed for channel switching. Also, Marcy and Jefferson throw a wild Christmas party next door and do not tell Al about it.

14Sofa So Good

With Al and Peggy away for a family reunion with her family in Wanker County, Wisconsin (where everyone's last name is Wanker and is relative), the Bud lets Kelly have the house for Saturday night. When her date accidentally destroys the family couch, Kelly must travel to the far corners of Illinois to find the crazed, hermit-like, former maker of the couch to ask for a replacement before her parents come home.

15Honey, I Blew Up Myself

On Al's 45th birthday, Peggy decides to give him a sexy photo of herself to hang in the shoe store. But the photographer decides to hang it in a huge blow up version of the same photo on a giant billboard in the mall outside the store. Naturally, this cannot be tolerated so Al enlists the help of Marcy's feminist group FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys), NO MA'AM's rival counterpart, to destroy the offending image. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud can't seem to get the right gift for Al.

16How Green Was My Apple

17Valentines Day Massacre

18Get Outta Dodge

When Al decides to sell his old car, the people at the Dodge Corporation inform him that if he can get his Dodge's odometer up to all 9's, the car will take part in a commercial, breaking the 1,000,000,000 miles and Al will be awarded a brand Dodge Viper. But can Al and his Dodge survive 24 hours until the film crew can arrive? Meanwhile, Bud sends the dim-witted Kelly out to find "Waldo."

19Field of Screams

Al opposes the proposed destruction of his old high school football field to build a new auto plant by chaining himself to the arch. Meanwhile, Buck and Bud suffer from unusual side affects after Kelly the Verminator sprays them with a new pesticide called "Springtime in Baghdad."

20The DArcy Files

Jefferson reveals his secret past to Marcy when he tells her that he is a ex-CIA spy in a witness relocation program. Meanwhile, Al gets conflicting emotions when he is offered a $50,000 reward by a certain Walter Traugott, a shady thug who is looking for Jefferson. Elsewhere, Peggy has a toothache from a broken tooth, and Kelly and Bud dress up as bums at the mall to acquire more cash for themselves.

21Nooner or Later

While Al is busy at the shoe store with his new temp, Dexter, Peggy must coerce Al into an act over the phone to win a prize on a radio call-in show hosted by Rick Dees. One act for Al is to come home to have a nooner with Peggy. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud wait in line in the mall outside the shoe store for rock concert tickets.

22Ride Scare

Al opposes a forced car pooling until he learns that three lingerie models are in the group. But Al realizes the models are full-figured. Al and his group are then chosen to promote a campaign by the local health board to appear in commercial advertisements to clean up over polluted Chicago. But when Al and the ladies are asked to picket outside a chemical plant where Kelly works as the Verminator spokes model, Al must decide whether or not to help close down the plant and make Kelly lose her job, or give up his fame and fortune. Meanwhile, no one seems to care after Bud announces that he has made the Dean's List at college.

23The Legend of Ironhead Haynes

When another complaint from a fat woman at the shoe store results in Al losing his parking space and being reprimanded not to insult anymore fat women, he, Jefferson and the rest of his mens club NO MA'AM seek out a legendary guru macho man to teach them how to battle political correctness. Meanwhile, Peggy, Kelly and Bud hide a secret refrigerator full of food from Al.

24Assault and Batteries

Al rushes to finish fixing the basement step before his favorite movie, "Hondo" comes on TV. But, in an attempt to get some new batteries for his flashlight, he finds himself locked inside the store. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly attempt to celebrate Buck's birthday, much to Buck's dismay.

25Al Goes Deep

Using their tax refund money, Jefferson and Al bet heavily on a college football game that they are guaranteed to win. But that's before Trumaine's prized, not-so-bright quarterback Chad, who is being tutored by Bud, falls in love with Kelly, whom she pleasantly distracts from his training. Al must find a way to keep them apart at all costs after he finds out that other shady parties have also bet heavily on the game as well.

26Kelly Knows Something

When the Bundy TV set blows its condenser, Al decides to try out for a place on a new sports trivia game show, hoping to win a new TV set as the first prize. But when he is denied because of his lack of personality, Al tries to transfer his knowledge of sports to Kelly to win the show for him. But for each fact that she takes in, another falls out.

1Shoeway to Heaven

2Driving Mr. Boondy

Bud gets a job as a driving instructor and is Al's driving examiner when Al goes to renew his long expired drivers license. Meanwhile, Marcy gets Kelly a job as the model window girl at her bank after Jefferson's egocentric, selfish advice makes Kelly lose her job as the Verminator.

3Kelly Breaks Out

Kelly has a big zit on the day of her commercial, Ice Beer and Peg offers her a solution. Her uncle Sticky Wanker's zit removing potion will cure it. Al is ecstatic of her being in the commercial, despite his upset over not having tapes of Emma Peel. The Home Shopping Network offered him a compromise, endless first edition volumes of The Three Stooges, which he also loves. His real problem is with Marcy and her feminist group. They recently filed a lawsuit against Ice Beer for not hiring average and unattractive women. It goes nowhere as the jury ruled with the company and FANG is forced to protest against the commercial.

4Naughty But Niece

Bud's intense studying for a scholarship exam makes him periodically nod off and fantasize about making out with beautiful women. So, is a passionate encounter between him and Marcy's visiting, sexually aggressive, 19-year-old niece, Amber, a dream or real?

5Business Sucks: Part 1

6Business Still Sucks: Part 2

The day after, with no end in sight to the feud and both sides unwilling to back down, Al concocts a plan to rid the shoe store of women by selling mens shoes. But will it hold up when the long-unseen owner Gary finally arrives? Al's case is blown to bits after Gary shows up.

7Dial B for Virgin

Bud's community service assignment for college is the one he is least suited for: consulting virgins on the brink of temptation, while he has to wrestle with temptation himself when he has to go to one's house to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy go to the video store to find a movie they both can watch together.

8Sleepless in Chicago

Jefferson learns that the Barbie doll he bought for Marcy on her birthday at an auction is worth a small fortune of $50,000. So he asks Al a big favor: sleep next to Marcy for the night while he goes out to exchange dolls. In return, Al gets to keep a prized first addition of the magazine "Big Uns" that he bought at the auction with Jefferson's money.

9No Pot to Pease In

10Dud Bowl

After the funeral of a former football teammate at the Bullpen Sports Bar, an old rival, named Jack Franklin, challenges Al and his former team from Polk High into a grudge football match between them. But Al ends up being turned into a tackling dummy by ringers Bubba Smith, Laurence Taylor, Ken Stabler and John Reynolds on the opposing team.

11A Man for No Seasons

12I Want My Psycho Dad: Part 1

Al launches his group NO MA'AM in a protest outside the local TV station after Marcy's group FANG gets NO MA'AM's favorite TV show "Psycho Dad" canceled. But in a blizzard, no one takes notice. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud try to convince Al to have them throw a house party for their friends.

13I Want My Psycho Dad: Second Blood: Part 2

Al and his friends from NO MA'AM who include Griff, Officer Dan, Ike and Bob Rooney travel to Washington D.C. where thanks to Jefferson's pull, being a former CIA agent, Al and the group gets to address the U.S. Senate about Psycho Dad being put back on the air.

14The Naked and the Dead, But Mostly the Naked

To check out their husbands claim of "totally innocent fun" Peggy, Marcy and their friends accompany their husbands Al, Jefferson, Charlie, Ike and Bob Rooney to the Jiggly Room strip club. Afraid of the ladies responses, Al and the group take them on a Thursday night where it's A-cup night so the men won't get excited by the small breasted dancers. Everything goes well at first, until the unexpected arrival of a huge breasted stripper named "Rocky Mountains." Meanwhile, Kelly lands a part in a weight loss commercial and must drink various un-drinkable protein shakes.

15Kelly Takes a Shot

16Best of Bundy

17Get the Dodge Outta Hell

Al's Dodge mysteriously disappears during a family visit to a local car wash while on their way to Wanker county. Meanwhile, Marcy's ex-husband Steve Rhoades mysteriously reappears at the car wash to show her his new life while she is trying to get the lazy Jefferson to work there.

1825 Years and What Do You Get?

On their 25th wedding anniversary, Peggy goes out with Marcy to a posh health spa where Peggy gets coned out of all her money by a gift shop employee selling cheap beauty items. Meanwhile, Al is in trouble when the old and senile Buck buries in the back yard the anniversary gift necklace he plans to give Peggy, which prompts him, Bud and Kelly to literally dig up the entire back yard looking for the necklace.

19Ship Happens: Part 1

Wolfman Jack appears at the Bundys door telling them that they won a free Caribbean cruise. So while he stays at the Bundy house and eats Kelly and Bud out of house and home, Al and Peggy, with Marcy and Jefferson along strictly for the ride, hit the high seas on the S.S. Sea Dodge. They stay in a cramped cabin in the boiler room on a ship with large women on their way to a weight loss center on a tropical isle.

20Ship Happens: Part 2

The Bundys ocean cruise takes a turn for the worse when their ship sinks and they are stranded on a life raft in the middle of the ocean with the D'Arcys, a fat woman, and comedian Gilbert Gottfried. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud endure the media circus that comes to their house asking about their missing parents.

21Something Larry This Way Comes

Kelly gets a big break while attending the Larry Storch School of Acting when she and Larry Storch are to appear on stage in a part of the show "Phantom of the Opera." But when the shoe store owner, Gary, knocks out Larry Storch himself, whom she holds a personal grudge against, Al must leave the midnight madness sale at the shoe store, leaving Griff solo, to go to Kelly's rescue at the theater.

22And Bingo Was Her Game-O

23User Friendly

Bud gets hooked on a virtual reality sex experiment to revitalize his sex life with Amber, while she and Kelly discover what Bud is up to and plan to get him off it. Meanwhile, Al's week long vacation takes a turn when he becomes obsessed with an electrical switch that has an unknown function.

24Pump Fiction

When Kelly and Al collaborate and make a short documentary film about shoes for Kelly's acting class in the Larry Storch School of Acting, they win a grant of $10,000 from the National Endowment of the Arts to make another movie: "A Day in the Life of a Shoe Salesman."

25My Favorite Married...

26Radio Free Trumaine

In this pilot for a proposed new TV series, set on Trumaine University's radio station, W.H.I.P., DJ's Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell host several hours of unconventional and overlooked programming. After a probing interview, divulging the past of Trumaine's new dean of students, Steve Rhoades, both Oliver and Mark are kicked off the air and expelled from the college. Marcy arrives and upon hearing the news, she tries to get revenge against her ex-husband by leading a feeble on-air protest against their expulsion. But their protest doesn't attract much attention. Meanwhile, Bud is dating April Adams, a fellow student and intern from Marcy's bank, who is also being pursued by Nickolai Pushkin, a rugged, handsome basketball star from Russia. When Bud desperately attempts to seal April's affections away from Nickolai, Mark happens by and secretly broadcasts the conversation over the station and calls it "Hot Talk With April." Mark, Oliver and their new show become so popular that dozens of people turn out for the protest, in which Steve backs down and lets them stay on the air and at the college. April ends up rejecting both Bud and Nickolai, as well as a job at Marcy's bank to remain with Mark and Oliver at their radio station.

27Shoeless Al

An insurance agent is assigned to make sure Al is afraid to wear shoes to collaborate his lawsuit against the mall that claims he is afraid of shoes after being tied up by a burglar while at work. But Al must decide between the money from the settlement or winning a bowling championship when he's not allowed to bowl barefoot.

28The Undergraduate

Kelly's new secret admirer turns out to be a wealthy, spoiled, and immature 12-year-old boy, named Robbie Bennett, who blackmails her into accompanying him to his junior prom at his elementary school. Bud also crashes the prom disguised as a music DJ to taunt Kelly until she finally cries out for help, and Bud saves her by contacting Robbie's father. But no one expects it when Robbie's father begins to eye Kelly too.

1Guess Whos Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner

2A Shoe Room with a View

Al and Griff convinces Gary to use the extra space for an aerobic's studio in the hopes that it'll attract pretty women. When it attracts fat women instead, Kelly convinces her father's boss to hire Ramone. It turns the tide against Feminist Marcy.

3Requiem for a Dead Briard

After the Bundy family dog, Buck, dies, he goes to Animal Heaven where his fate for eternity is to be dealt with by a feline judge. Back on Earth, Al tries to cheer up the mourning Kelly by buying her another pet in the form of a parakeet, until Peggy's Mom eats it. Al then hires Father Guido Sarducci to conduct a séance to try to contact Buck in the afterlife.

4Reverend Al

Al and his mens group NO MA'AM decide to form their own church in order to avoid paying beer tax. When Marcy and her women's group FANG expose Al's plan to the public, NO MA'AM surprisingly receives sympathy and donations from thousands of long-suffering married men in America which makes it possible for them to open their church. Al becomes a televangelist and preaches the NO MA'AM way of life.

5How Bleen Was My Kelly

When Kelly gets a movie role for playing a scientist, she decides to impersonate one and gets access into Trumain's University lab for research. In her spare time she develops a blue-green chemical compound that she call's 'Bleen' - a super-growth hair formula that instantly is popular with Al and his club NO MA'AM. But there is one small psychological side affect. Meanwhile, Bud and Peggy try to research to find the one person who makes less money than Al.

6The Weaker Sex

Peggy takes up a self-defense class. What's worse, she is soon promoted to the advanced class. This makes Al feel emasculated. To make Peg drop the self-defense class, Kelly suggests Al take Peg out on a romantic date to see the Director's Cut of The Bridges of Madison Country.

7Flight of the Bumblebee

In order to join Al's group NO MA'AM, Bud must go through a intuition process where he must crash a televised wrestling match in order to get an photograph taken of him with pro-wrestler King Kong Bundy. Bud not only gains backstage access by dressing in a Bumblebee outfit, but thank to Kelly's big mouth, he lands in the ring facing the star wrestler as well.

8Blonde and Blonder

Marcy organizes a "Toys for guns" campaign to get kids something else to play with than toy guns. Kelly has a post-graduation five-year re-union and is shocked to learn that the nerd she once stood up has grown into a handsome and rich man...

9The Two That Got Away

Al and Jefferson go away for the weekend to a fishing lake in upstate Wisconsin. But when they arrive at the fishing lodge, they are rudely told to leave when Shannon Tweed, a famous B-movie actress and former Playboy Playmate has taken their reservation. But when they guys arrive home, they discover that Jefferson had inadvertently snapped a photo of Shannon seducing the lodge owner in a hot tub as the reason why they were kicked off the property. As payback, Al and Jefferson decide to throw a tabloids auction to see which magazine will get the photo. Meanwhile, Bud casts Lucky the Dog in a dog food commercial, but Lucky will only act unless Kelly performs the scene first.

10Dud Bowl II

Marcy's bank, Kyoto National, plans to donate a new scoreboard to Polk High and name it after Polk High's famous football alumni. Al, having scored four touchdowns in a single game, assumes it's him. But Marcy hates Al and is determined to find another football star just to spite him. When she learns that NFL all-star Terry Bradshaw attended Polk High for two months, she think she has found her man. While Kelly tries to talk to Bradshaw about letting Al have the title, Al, Jefferson, and Bud conspire to destroy the scoreboard.

11Al Bundy Sports Spectacular

12Bearly Men

Al and Bud go on a bear hunt in the woods to prove they're as manly as Peggy's father, Ephraim, so he can take back Peggy's unseen mother. Al and Bud bring back what they think is a dead bear they found in the woods. But they are in for a big surprise when the bear wakes up from hibernation and wreaks havoc on them and the city.

13Love Conquers Al

To go out with hot guy named Carlos, Kelly bribes the reluctant Bud to keep company for Carlos's cousin Esmeralda by offering Bud a date with Fawn. Fortunately for Bud, Esmeralda turns out to be quite hot. Meanwhile, Al and Peg take Ephraim and Peggy's unseen mother to a marriage retreat.

14I Cant Believe Its Butter

Al gives a lonely Griff a coupon for 20 free minutes on 1-900-YUMMY for Christmas, a phone sex line that soon has Griff hooked up as a regular customer. When Al discovers who is the voice of Griff's phone sex partner (Peggy's mother), he tries to keep Griff from going through the plan of asking "Butter" to spend the holidays with him.

15The Hood, the Bud & the Kelly: Part 1

Al buys a satellite dish from a discount store and he and Jefferson insist on installing it themselves. Bud is turned down for a loan at every bank in Chicago and borrows money from Vito, a mobster. He uses the money to finance an exercise video staring Kelly and a Latino hunk named Rafael. But Kelly and Rafael get into a fight over who will star in the video, promoting them to storm off to their dressing rooms. Then Bud learns that Vito is dangerous and want's the video completed on time.

16The Hood, the Bud & the Kelly: Part 2

Vito's hatchet man, Gino, tells Bud that he has until 5:00 pm to finish the exercise video or he will be sleeping with the fishes. Kelly and Rafael's continuing arguments over which one of them will star in the video has Bud sweating. But things take an unexpected turn when Bud unwittingly videotapes Gino talking to another mob associate incriminating evidence against Vito. Meanwhile, Peggy, Marcy and their friends think that their husbands are totally useless as they count the number of times they fall off the roof trying to install the satellite dish. But Al, Jefferson, Griff, Officer Dan, Ike and Bob Rooney have completed the dish and set up a comfortable safe haven for them on the roof.

17Calendar Girl

Al wants to beat the rival shoe shop owner, Babcock, in something and puts his faith in Bud who's in the same entrepreneurial studies class in Trumaine than Little Floyd, Babcock's son. They both have to come up with a product and a his marketing campaign for it. Al sees that he will have his revenge if Bud's project gets a higher grade than Little Floyd's project. Kelly brings home a boy calendar and Bud gets an idea: he'll make a Girls of Trumaine calendar. Unfortunately, he does not know the personal secret of the stunning cover girl, Crystal Clark. Meanwhile, Peg is on the road, searching for her dad in order to save her parents' marriage.

18The Agony and the Extra C

In the hospital waiting for surgery, Jefferson tells Bud and Kelly about his 5th wedding anniversary mishap. He and his pals Al, Griff, Ike, Officer Dan and Bob Rooney went to the Jiggly Room where it was suggested that he honor Marcy by getting a tattoo. But the drunken tattooer adorned his rear end with the sentiment "I Love Mary." Al must figure out a way to help Jefferson get this past Marcy.

19Spring Break: Part 1

Bud and his three "frat bros", Hindu Achmed, fatso Hummer, and nerdy Barney, are set to leave for Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale in hopes of scoring some drunken babes. They have the tickets and the hotel reservation. That is, until Kelly, the naughty Fawn, the steamy Ashley, and the nerdy Natalie make them believe that they want to spend Spring Break with Bud and his pals. The girls say that in order to cheat their boyfriends with Bud and his pals they need the tickets and reservation in order to "send away the boyfriends" and the con succeeds. Meanwhile, Al and Griff sell a lot of shoes for girls leaving for Spring Break and wish they also could go, leaving them in a cold and powerless shoe store during a city-wide blackout resulting from a blizzard. Jefferson arrives and lets it slip that he's going to Fort Lauderdale to act as a judge in a beauty contest, behind Marcy's back, of course. Al and Griff then realize they can spend the money to go to Fort Lauderdale. Marcy arrives at the Bundys to find the boys still waiting for the girls to arrive. Together, they witness the girls, as well as Al, Griff and Jefferson on TV at Fort Lauderdale. Marcy and the boys decide to go after them to get revenge.

20Spring Break: Part 2

Al, Jefferson and Griff are having the time of their lives at Fort Lauderdale - Al even finds a new way to earn money by collecting empty cans! The girls are prepping Kelly for the beauty competition. Meanwhile, Marcy and the boys experience some car problems on the way from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale and have to bow to the demands of a purvey Tennessee car mechanic in order to get new wheels. The girls bump into Al and his pals at their hotel suite during a party. Al doesn't want Kelly to take part in some sleazy contest... that is until he learns that the prize is $100,000...

21Turning Japanese

Marcy is up for a promotion, but to get promoted, she needs to impress her Japanese boss, Mr. Shimokawa, by serving him dinner and presenting him her grateful neighbors, the Japanese Bundys! Of course, she needs to bribe the real Bundys to stay out of sight for the duration of the visit. However, it just happens that Mr. Shimokawa hears the sound of Al's Dodge 1971 - a car missing form his collection. To ensure her promotion, Marcy needs the car for Mr. Shimokawa. But what will it take to get Al to give up his car?

22Al Goes to the Dogs

Al decides to build a dog house for Lucky. But when he makes an absurd amount of noise in the back yard, Marcy bribes a building inspector to inspect Al's work just to harass him. When the inspector tells him that the house is not up to its "code," Al, with Kelly's wealthy boyfriend Carlos, tear it down and rebuild it again and again to get it right.

23Enemies

In this pilot for a proposed TV series, a group of "friends" live in a sometimes peaceful co-existence. Tom is a handsome deliveryman living with his gorgeous girlfriend Shannon, his half-sister Maria, and their lazy friend Jackson. Tom is on the rocks with Shannon again over their flirtations with other people. When Tom meets Kelly Bundy while delivering a package to the Bundy house, he asks her out for the evening. Shannon, just to make Tom jealous, asks out a handsome millionaire named Henry and the four of them end up at the local grease spoon diner in the inner city, which is run by the kindly cook George. The evening gets more X-rated when both Tom and Shannon try to outdo each other with their dates.

24Bud Hits the Books

With finals at Trumaine coming, Bud must pull some good grades to graduate. The only problem is, Bud is going out with a new girl and sex is getting in the way of his studies. They make a pack of celibacy until finals are over. But Bud can't concentrate at home for Al has subscribed to the new Big Uns channel, so he goes to the college library. The librarian allows Bud to use a private room, but all the books he has conjure up sexual images. He can't take it anymore and "takes care of business." But there is a video camera in the room and Bud finds himself brought up on misconduct charges by the university. It's up to Marcy as Bud's lawyer and Al and his NO MA'AM friends to help him.

25Kiss of the Coffee Woman

Marcy keeps nagging Jefferson to get a job, so he hires Bud as his agent hoping to get some quick money doing commercials. Bud ends up getting a gig where both Kelly and Jefferson play a couple on a coffee commercial. This spot catches the pubic and the coffee company calls on them to do more commercials, including one where they must kiss. This makes both Al and Marcy uncomfortable, so Bud convinces them that it's completely innocent and invites them to the set. When they arrive on the set, the find it completely different than expected, for Kelly and Jefferson are to kiss in bed together.

26Torch Song Duet

Al and Griff are listening to a sports quiz show on the radio and the winner gets an all expense paid trip to Atlanta for the 1996 Olympic games, as well as running in one of the Chicago legs of the torch carrying relay. Al as been banned from the radio show, so he feeds his answers to Griff who wins the contest for him. Al begs Griff to share the prize with him, but Griff goes back on the deal when he experiences the sudden fame he gets.

27The Jokes on Al

Al and Jefferson are in a practical joke war with them trying to upping the other, in which one joke accidentally leaves Griff on death row. Then a beautiful woman, named June, comes to the Bundys door claiming to be an old friend of the absent Peggy. When June starts cooking and coming on to Al, he is convinced that it's another one of Jefferson's practical jokes. He goes along with it and even plans a mock wedding to get the upper hand. It turns out that it's not a joke and that June has held a grudge against Peggy for years and plans to go though with the wedding. But finally Peggy and her father Ephraim, who has decided to take back Peggy's mother, appear in the nick of time to save the day.... and to close the show.

1Twisted

Bud has discovered that Ariel gets turned on by life-threatening situations and has decided to stage a fake tornado in order to get some from Ariel while they seek shelter in the Bundys' basement. Peg confirms that danger does in deed turn women on. However, a real twister appears in Chicago and the rest of the Bundys and the Jeffersons also have to seek shelter in the Bundys' basement. Which also means that Peg and Marcy get turned on...

2Children of the Corns

3Kellys Gotta Habit

In order to get a $20,000 contract of a model for a national olive oil brand, Kelly has to sign a Morals Clause, which requires that she remain chaste. This proves to be a difficult task. Meanwhile, Al hears that Officer Dan is appearing in Al's favorite TV show Cops and blackmails him to become his partner.

4Requiem for a Chevyweight: Part 1

Al's beloved Dodge is fading away. Through a frantic "emergency operation", Al manages to "stabilize" the Dodge's condition, but it still needs constant "life support". Al is unwilling to let the Dodge go because he has fond memories of his father and the car (cue flashbacks). Al calls for a car doctor, who sees that the Dodge needs a fuel pump "transplant". Since those fuel pumps are a rarity, the doctor suggests that the car be "harvested" for spare parts instead, which would sell for a high price. This, of course, is completely unacceptable to Al. While he fights to keep the Dodge "alive" and looks for a new fuel pump, Peg and the kids already start auctioning the spare parts...

5Requiem for a Chevyweight: Part 2

Al buries his "dead" Dodge in his backyard and has a funeral ceremony for it. The collectors still desire the spare parts and Peg still intends to sell them. At Bud's request, Marcy goes through Al's financial records and declares that Al can't afford a new car. Al decides to prove her wrong and goes to a car dealer. Meanwhile, Jefferson's secret past helps him to locate a fuel pump for Al's old Dodge...

6A Bundy Thanksgiving

It's Thanksgiving. In Al's childhood, it was a tradition to eat aunt Maddie's potato pie on Thanksgiving, so Al takes a trip with Griff to see aunt Maddie in order to buy some pie. Unfortunately it turns out that she's just died. Jefferson can't find a turkey for Marcy because they've sold out. Then a stray turkey just happens to follow Kelly home. Will Kelly let the others eat it?

7The Juggs Have Left the Building

Peg take a holiday in Branson, Missouri, but Al says he can't afford it. The prospect of all-fried food and only twin beds available, however, make him change his estimate. Lucky has to stay behind, in the care of the D'Arcy-Jeffersons. Then Marcy feels the urge to act out a dirty fantasy at the Bundys. In Branson, the Bundys get a room at the Deliverance Inn (yes, just like that movie). Peg and Kelly take part in a country music talent contest.

8God Help Ye Merry Bundymen

It's Christmas. Al doesn't want a Christmas tree, the rest of the family do. Marcy is determined to win the neighborhood decorating contest. Gary hires two young guys, Hal and Biff, to help Al and Griff at the shoe store. Someone (actually Bud and Kelly) kidnaps Mary and Joseph from Marcy's Nativity Scene and demand $500 in ransom. Hal and Biff turn out to be such good workers that Gary decides to replace Al and Griff with them, permanently.

9Crimes Against Obesity

Today is Al's birthday and he goes over his cardinal rules with his family. His kids, Kelly and Bud are to leave him alone and Peg isn't allowed to have sex with him. This is followed by his kids putting up tinted sheets on his dodge. He goes to work with Jefferson after having a great breakfast at the Giggly Room. Griff presented him a lunch time at the Giggly Room. As they were about to leave a fat woman named Shirley walks in and demands her money back because her shoes fell apart after one day. Al insults her weight once again, calling her a giant seal. She leaves insulted and he heads off to the Giggly room. After Al returns, Shirley and the fat women, he insulted over the years they've patronize Gary's, put him on trial for excessive crimes against obesity, with his insults to their weight. Can he survive long enough against them to use his coupons to places he wants to go and use them? Or will Al be force to endure their punishment they plan for him?

10The Stepford Peg

Al wants to throw the biggest get together with his friends at the house. Unfortunately, he tries to enlist Peg to help him out. She refuses and trips when he leaves. When she wakes up with amnesia, Al reprograms her into the perfect housewife that cooks and cleans for him. While he, the kids and the No MA'AM members enjoy the new, hardworking and tidy Peg. Marcy prefers the rude, mean and sloppy Peg and tries to change her back.

11Bud on the Side

Bud confides in Al and tells he can't get a single girl to go out with him. Al has a problem too: his boss Gary is being a real bitch - she won't agree to have a break room made for Griff and Al. Bud comes to see Al, but Gary catches him looking at his ass in front of a mirror and expresses her interest in him. Bud gives in to his needs and starts sleeping with Gary. What happens when Al finds out?

12Grime and Punishment

Since Bud is actually earning money, Al starts charging rent for the basement. Bud and Al sign a lease and Bud pays his rent, after which he claims that the "apartment" is in need of repair. A health inspector declares the basement condemned and gives him a month to get the basement repaired. Al then is forced to wear an electronic neck band that prevents him from leaving the basement.

13T*R*A*S*H

Jefferson has joined the National Guard. He tells Al and Griff of the benefits: for one weekend once every month, one gets to party with a bunch of guys and even get paid for it! Of course, you have to pass basic training first - but even that has a benefit: one does not have to go to one's regular job but the boss still has to pay the salary! Al and Griff suddenly feel the urge to serve their country...

14Breaking Up Is Easy to Do: Part 1

Al agrees to let Peg invite the Jeffersons and Griff (plus one) to an evening party in exchange for a month of no sex. As a party game, the pairs test their knowledge of the other half. Unfortunately Al has forgotten the most romantic night between him and Peg, who throws him out to the doghouse, literally... Meanwhile, Kelly is auditioning for a role, but faces stiff competition from her nemesis Heather Talrico, another blonde bimbo. Kelly challenges Heather to a boxing match. The loser has to give up the role. Cue training montage...

15Breaking Up Is Easy to Do: Part 2

Al makes true of his threat to move out. But what about custody of the two... TVs? The kids Al leaves to Peg. In foresight, he has hidden a nest egg in a secret compartment in the toilet seat! Peg becomes depressed but the kids decide to find themselves a new step-dad. Marcy is ecstatic about Al's departure and has another plan to cheer Peg up. Meanwhile, Al is trying out the bachelor lifestyle, complete with a new look...

16Breaking Up Is Easy to Do: Part 3

Al is having difficulties adjusting to being single. Marcy is more than happy to share with him the info that Peg is having a dinner party with a millionaire. Al doesn't believe him, so Marcy tells him that what Peg really wants is for Al to come to the dinner party...

17Live Nude Peg

Peggy, jealous that Al is spending all his time at The Giggly Room, decides to try out on amateur night while Al and the No Ma'am boys judge it. She wins the competition dressed as a harem girl named Jasmin, wearing a veil over her face. Al is turned on like never before, and he and Peggy have their best sex ever.

18A Babe in Toyland

When Kelly gets successful on a kid's show, she becomes a total bitch and a control freak. Her manager, Bud decides that Princess Kelly should be taught a lesson she won't forget. Meanwhile, Al tries to avoid sharing a bed with Peg by sawing off half of their bed off as she is tempted to have sex with him in bed.

19Birthday Boy Toy

Al makes Peg stop the constant shopping by taking his card away from her and by electrifying the phone so that she can't place any orders. It's Jefferson's birthday and he has to accept he's no longer a young man and Marcy may one day leave him. Gary hires Bud and Kelly to shoot a commercial for the store. There is a role for a shoe salesman and Al forces Bud to hire him. But Al has no acting experience...

20Damn Bundys

Al dreams of playing for the Chicago Bears and taking them to the Superbowl. When the Devil appears to him, Al sells his soul to have the chance to take the Bears to the Superbowl. In the process, Al wins league MVP, and becomes a national sensation. The Devil of course takes the definition of the contract literally and chaos ensues.

21Lez Be Friends

Marcy wants the Bundys to stay indoors because her "identical" cousin Mandy is coming for a visit and Marcy doesn't want her to be repulsed by them. Mandy's flight, however, is early and she takes a cab. Since the D'Arcys are at the airport waiting for her, she comes to the Bundys. This leads to Mandy spending the day out with Al and Jefferson. Suddenly Peg and Marcy find themselves jealous.

22The Desperate Half-Hour

Al is kicking Peg and the kids out so he can watch Death Wish 6 3-D in privacy on pay per view. But Bud also needs the house for himself: his pen pal Starla is getting out of prison and is coming to see him. Unfortunately, Starla decides to rob the Bundy's at gunpoint. It turns out that she has escaped and is on the run, so she ends up holding the Bundys hostage. Starla also has a dim-witted boyfriend, to whom Kelly becomes attracted to. And the feeling is mutual. Then the D'Arcys, who are about to leave on a charity masquerade cruise, barge in and end up hostages as well...

23How to Marry a Moron

(Continuation of the previous episode) Lonnie is freed from prison because it was overcrowded. He asks Al's blessing for marrying Kelly. He even has a ring. Turns out that Lonnie is one of the Tots who own Tot Industries, makers of Weenie Tots. Suddenly Lonnie is most welcome to the Bundy family...

24Chicago Shoe Exchange

Gary is restocking the shoe store and donating all the old shoes to Filipino orphans. When the lunch delivery girl accepts old sandals as payment because Al and Griff have no money, they realize that the shoes have trading value. Kelly finally gets her masseuse license, but accidentally cripples Bud when trying out her skills on him.