Frank Lambert is a construction worker and a single father of 3 kids: J.T., Alicia "Al" and Brendan. Carol Foster, a beautician, also has 3 children: Dana, Karen and Mark. After Frank and Carol run into each other on vacation and spontaneously get married, they and their children (who appeared to have known and hated each other) have to learn to live together and love each other. It's not easy, but they are trying to do this step by step . . .
20 Sep 1991Description ▼
This is the first episode. The Lamberts move in with the Fosters and the kids are fighting right off the bat. Frank and Carol want the kids to think they are dating but Frank accidentally announces that they got married in Jamaica. Al is having stomach pains and Frank believes she is faking it so she doesn't have to go to school. Carol takes Al to the doctor and it turns out that Al was not faking the pain and she needs to have her appendix removed. For a short time, the kids forget their rivalry and are more concerned with Al.
27 Sep 1991Description ▼
Al asks the pitcher to her baseball team to the school dance. He says yes but when another girl that he likes more ask him he breaks the date with Al. Al is then devastated and her and Mike ask for Karens advise and she makes it worse because no ones ever broke a date with her. Steve Urkle sees her disappointment and tries to cheer her up and it works. They end up going to the dance together while shes wearing a flowery dress. There Roger (the pitcher) notices how pretty Al is without her catchers mask on so he asked her to dance. Of course, she doesn't and tells him off for being such a jerk.
3Rules of the House
04 Oct 1991Description ▼
Carol's penchant for micromanaging the household had worked well for the Fosters, but it isn't with the Lamberts now part of the family. Frank objects to his having to cash in special "tokens" that will allow him to watch 30 minutes of television, but that's nothing compared to how Al feels about Carol's rules. When Carol refuses to accept Al's criticism, she announces plans to move to Milwaukee to live with her grandmother.
11 Oct 1991Description ▼
Frank and J.T. are tickled pink when cousin Cody, the cool demolition natural who lives in bis van, arrives for a weekend visit. J.T. naughtily bets that even he can't charm Barky into a date. Carol is hopelessly and misleadingly unclear about her expectations for the first wedding month-'anniversary'. So Frank simply buys a super-saw in a hardware-sale, but he finds a Jamaica-nostalgic alternative.
5Frank & Son
18 Oct 1991Description ▼
J.T., who needs extra money, agrees to work for Frank. Frank is thrilled though J.T. does not feel the same way. After failing horribly there, J.T. works for Carol as a shampoo boy. The only good thing about working as a shampoo boy is that J.T. can touch girls and not get in trouble. Dana needs to build a birdhouse and Al has to write a report on Tom Sawyer. To get decent grades, they switch assignments. Eventually, Brendan points out that it is cheating. After seeing Al's birdhouse, Frank and Al end up talking about construction.
25 Oct 1991Description ▼
Carol wants the family to bond so she thinks the Port Washington games is the best way to do it. The Lamberts, who have won three years in a row, do not want the Fosters on their team simply because they are not athletic enough. The Fosters find the games to be barbaric but they eventually agree to participate. The Lamberts are devastated when they learn Cody will not be there to help them win for a fourth straight year. Karen turns out to be the secret weapon as her beauty distracts the opponents. It comes down to the last event and Cody shows up to help the Lamberts win for the fourth straight year.
01 Nov 1991Description ▼
It is Brendan's 6th birthday. Normally, Frank takes him out for pizza and bowling but Carol learns that Brendan would prefer a party. Carol helps Brendan plan the party with Yo-Yo the clown as the entertainment. Frank and Carol also learn that their marriage in Jamaica was null and void. They agree to make the day special by meeting at City Hall and having a romantic lunch. Frank ends up getting stuck at work so he can't spend the whole day with Carol. Carol then wants a wedding with a Reverend though the Reverend they want is leaving for vacation and won't be back for six months. They agree to squeeze the wedding in with Brendan's birthday party. The bad news keeps coming as Yo-Yo the clown calls at the last minute saying he won't be coming. Frank ends up dressing as Yo-Yo and he and Carol get married while Frank is dressed as a clown.
8Just for Kicks
08 Nov 1991Description ▼
Dana and her friend Bernice want to see their favorite folk singer at a bar called Jake's. At first, Carol lets her go but later learns from Frank that it is a very dangerous place so she forbids Dana to go. Dana feels that Frank is controlling her so she goes anyway. When Cody learns that Dana went to Jake's, he rushes there and beats up several thugs. Eventually, the numbers are too great and the other thugs are about to beat up Cody. Just then, Frank comes in to help Cody. The two of them beat up the others and Dana is saved. Though Frank breaks his hand, Dana appreciates him and Cody saving her.
9Into the Woods
15 Nov 1991Description ▼
Since Carol insists on joint activities, Frank agrees to join her to the opera if the Fosters join camping, a favorite Lambert pastime. The Foster kids wine non-stop from the start, and soon get some reasons, such as a truck parking incident which strands them till the park ranger's weekly visit. Cody realizes they're missing and goes tracking, but so does a bear, really close.
22 Nov 1991Description ▼
Cody tries to impress Dana and gets a job as a corporate executive. His job is to put prizes in the quarter machines for the young kids. He puts kids before profit and ends up getting fired. The family decides that an answering machine is needed to retrieve messages. Karen gets a call from a crush named Bobby but neglects to tell Frank that there was a message for him saying the building he is supposed to remodel is getting demolished. Frank nearly gets killed and Karen gets punished.
11A Day in the Life
29 Nov 1991Description ▼
A show called "America Up Close" is doing a "blended family" segment and the Foster/Lambert family is chosen. Carol is embarrassed because the whole world will see that the kids constantly fight. Carol's prediction was correct and she ends up making Frank sleep on the couch. Dana convinces the other kids to be nice to each other. The next day during filming, the kids are nice to each other and Carol and Frank make up.
12The New Car
06 Dec 1991Description ▼
Carol's car is doing pretty much everything except running correctly so she and Frank decide they need a new car. Frank brings Carol to his pal's car lot. Frank tries to get a good deal but Carol gets the better deal. J.T. has a date so he uses Carol's car, then someone borrows the car from J.T. Penny finds a man who is a mortician. She brings him over for dinner at Frank and Carol's but he talks about his job too much.
13 Dec 1991Description ▼
J.T. and Cody believe in aliens so Dana and Karen tease them. They try to make the guys like idiots by having a UFO fly over the house. Cody and J.T. learn of the plan and decide to play some mind games of their own. Frank's office is a mess and Carol attempts to help him organize the place. Carol puts all the information into a computer which pleases Frank. Soon after, Carol loses the information that was on the computer. They end up going through a dumpster to find the information that was in shoe boxes. After getting garbage poured on them, they find the boxes.
03 Jan 1992Description ▼
Frank and Carol go away for the weekend leaving Dana in charge. Dana has only one rule--no parties. The hotel is a dump but Frank and Carol try to make it work. Everything is going smooth until Frank throws his back out. At home, Dana has two friends over for a study group. Since she has two friends over, she allows each kid to have two friends as well. Eventually, a party breaks out. J.T. gets stuck in the chimney just before Frank and Carol get home and the fire department has to come over to free J.T.
15Drive, He Said
17 Jan 1992Description ▼
After lecturing Dana endlessly about her drivers test, Frank is one day late to renew his license administratively, and fails the written test himself. Al tricks Frank into allowing her to learn drumming. For once she doesn't seem to feel like quitting soon. Dana now even drives Frank, until real traffic proves terrifying and he passes his make-up test.
16Bully for Mark
07 Feb 1992Description ▼
Mark is doing homework for a classmate because he is being threatened. Carol feels that Mark should confront the bully in a peaceful way while Frank suggests that Mark defend himself. The bully happens to be a girl which gets Al's attention. Al begins to consider Mark a brother and sticks up for him. J.T. is running the 100M for the JV track team and breaks the school's record. Dana has to write a report on J.T. for the school newspaper. She writes a negative article but J.T. gets the typesetter to publish a very positive one.
17The Boys in the Band
14 Feb 1992Description ▼
J.T. helps Al come up with a name for her band and he becomes the manager. The band gets to perform at the bowling alley where Frank just did a remodeling job. The other four girls in the band get the flu and J.T. is forced to get Dana and Karen as replacements. Since no one else is available, J.T. and Cody dress up as girls. The crowd finds out J.T. and Cody are guys and Carol saves the band by performing herself. There is a mouse loose in the house. Frank wants to kill it but Carol believes the mouse should live.
21 Feb 1992Description ▼
Cody's ghost story scares only him. Because the four courses she lacks are offered in one semester, Carol dreams of finishing college. Frank encourages her, but soon finds she lacks time to study and do the housework. He has a go, but can no cope to her perfectionist standards, nor to anyone's satisfaction.
28 Feb 1992Description ▼
Frank's contractor friend, John Patterson, invites him and his family to join an exclusive country club. While the Lamberts and Fosters engage in a series of gags, Dana fumes about having to come along in the first place; she's sure she'll be embarrassed by Frank's oafish, clumsy ways. However, she winds up sticking up for her step-father when she finds out the only reason Patterson invited him to join was to make him the butt of cruel jokes.
06 Mar 1992Description ▼
JT is so desperate to be introduced to school 'hottie' Tina that he agrees to be Dana's slave for a whole humiliating week. Frank's father, grandpa Bill, visits and presents his far younger bride Luanne Dexter to the family. Frank remembers having seen her as bachelor party cake stripper, but they never discuss this matter. When he gathers the courage, Bill doesn't believe him. Date Tina proves a terrible, incompatible snob.
21He Wanted Wings
27 Feb 1992Description ▼
Frank is turning forty and Carol fears he'll go through a midlife crisis and maybe have an affair. So she gets him a boy's dream, flying lessons, and goes along. Unfortunately the flight instructor, Mel, has health problems. Cody and J.T. got him the shower head he wanted for his birthday and insist on installing it themselves - without the instructions. The girls bicker about baking a birthday cake.
24 Apr 1992Description ▼
Port Washington's Lodge elects Frank as first deputy Grand Mallard. So he can coach Cody to pledge as new member, and supervise that his project isn't too ludicrous even for that bunch. He also gets to MC the Mother and Miss Mallard pageant. Karen sees that as her first step to a modeling career, so Carol can't refuse entering, nor leave after judge Howard overdoes his customary 'flirting'. The grand day arrives for both.
18 Sep 1992Description ▼
Ruthlessly ambitious Dana is joined at the SAT test by Cody, as his latest 'new experience. Meanwhile Frank takes action to stop the other kids raiding his wardrobe. The results prove Cody is even brighter then Dana, to JT's proud amusement. She immediately insists they both take the test again, now from a book with Carol with examiner - and maternal support group after adding up even higher scores.
2To B or Not to B
25 Sep 1992Description ▼
The school year starts even harder the usual. Even Mark is terrified he has to take wood-shop. Al's cooking is so bad it requires power-tools to cut it. Worst off is JT's with a Shakespeare assignment for Carol's former favorite teacher, Mrs. Hill, and a class visit from his stepmother. It turns out 'Fishface' grades jocks a D, even after Frank coached JT on Hamlet all night. Until Carol steps in.
3Stuck on You
02 Oct 1992Description ▼
JT is desperate enough for a date with popular Judy to pay Karen back for her fashion and grooming help, to Dana's amusement. Frank felt his back hampered him joining Cody jumping as a 'human fly'. He is tempted by 'macho rivalry' for the kids' admiration with Al's friend Lori's dad, former football star Ted Davis.
09 Oct 1992Description ▼
The kids are tickled pink when J.T. gets his own public access TB show 'J.T.'s world'. When it turns out being a guest seduces Lisa Morgan, but for sidekick Cody rather then J.T., the star dumps his cousin and best mate. Frank and unsuspecting Cody's undying support make him reconsider. Frank felt he shouldn't do a magazine 'compatibility test' with Carol, and was right: after answering he fall for a gorgeous other woman after 'only' six months on a desert island without any change of rescue, Carol declares war on his 'infidelity'.
5It's a Dog's Life
16 Oct 1992Description ▼
When the neighboring Coleman family goes on holiday for a week, Frank helps the kids convince Carol to mind their dog. It turns out Mr. Fritz is a St. Bernard, who soon antagonizes everyone, except Carol who starts spoiling him, even more then jealous Frank. It gets worse, even in the bedroom, when the Colemans phone to say they are staying in Florida. Training fails.
23 Oct 1992Description ▼
Mark brings a lie detector home, with unequal results for Lambert men. J.T. and Karen's pride announcing they got waiting jobs in Joe Passarelli's 1950s café tarnishes when Dana reveals being their tyrannical assistant manager. Fortunately Cody was hired as -free- DJ, for soon the slave-driver makes everyone else quit and can't cope with customers. Frank and Carol visit and grudgingly fill in, but Dana soon relapses in her sassy style.
30 Oct 1992Description ▼
Karen realizes a dream when she takes a modeling job in Chicago, but she has to deal with her overbearing mother. Carol tags along and interferes with the photo shoot, angering Karen. However, one of the other models takes Karen aside and shares her dream ... just to be a kid. Meanwhile, Dana - and then the others, one by one - come down with the flu. They all quickly make Frank their butler, which (along with Mark sharing how often he has to vomit) drives family patriarch crazy.
8Someone to Watch Over Me
06 Nov 1992Description ▼
Frank becomes worried when he learns Dana has asked Mike Walters (aka "Mike the Mover") out on a date, particularly since he has learned Mike has a reputation of pressuring his dates into having sex. However, a plan to spy on Dana and make sure no hanky-panky takes place backfires, and Dana quickly accuses her stepfather of meddling. The next day, Mike shows his true colors during an unannounced visit, and Frank is there to back up Dana when she asks him to leave. Meanwhile, J.T. agrees to wax and wash Frank's new truck, but buys a substandard brand of wax that ruins the truck's paint job ... and Frank's trust in his eldest son.
9The Making of the President
13 Nov 1992Description ▼
J.T. laughs at the student elections as 'by and for the geeks' on issues nobody cares about. But his fellow Joe Schmo's convince him to stand for president against Dana. Frank and Carol can barely keep neutral until the C-students carry the day easily. Cody and Brandon practice magic tricks, without talent or prudence. Only then J.T. discovers the presidency bites in his time management and lifestyle more then he can bare. But isn't resigning in favor of Barky worse?
20 Nov 1992Description ▼
J.T. finally found a girl who never says no, Kellie Peterson. Yet she only agrees to double date with her sister Kimmie and Cody, who refuses to go to their house in their parents' absence. Meanwhile Carol is as determined to enforce the low cholesterol diet the doctor prescribed to Frank as he is to dodge it. The kids enjoy helping her contraband cheese, but it takes another motivator.
11Back to Basics
04 Dec 1992Description ▼
Carol imposes a severe crackdown in family spending after a long-overdue video is found under Brendan's bed. The other siblings immediately blame Brendan, and their behavior toward him becomes so rude and disdainful that he decides to run away. It isn't long before the youngest Lambert is found (in Cody's van), and after Frank and Carol reassure Brendan that he wasn't to blame, the other children realize they need to apologize.
12Boys Will Be Boys
11 Dec 1992Description ▼
Frank is delighted by youth partner in mischief Scooter's visit. However, Carol is not only jealous of Frank's attention but is proven right about his terrible influence on their kids. Cody won a turkey in a Christmas raffle, but it's delivered alive and he starts thinking of Elmer as an individual.
13If I Were a Rich Man
08 Jan 1993Description ▼
A resident of the Lakeview Retirement Home (where Cody is a volunteer) dies. The man leaves Cody his estate, valued at $250,000. As Cody struggles with how to spend the money, his cousins pester him for a share of the inheritance (to spend lavishly, natch). Eventually, enough is enough and Cody decides to put the money to good use: Save for $500, turn the cash over to the nursing home for needed upgrades. Cody then spends the rest of the money on a new camcorder (to replace a junky one that Frank purchased and breaks down in spectacular fashion).
14Happy Birthday, Baby
15 Jan 1993Description ▼
After Al's negligent laundry sorting (whites, colored and 'geeks') colored Karen's favorite white blouse purple, Mark thinks of a court- chaired by Codeman. Rather then be chaperoned at her 17th birthday party, Dana cancels, to Carol's frustration. Frank's attempts to cheer her up with a romantic hotel-room dinner are as frustrating. Worse when they discover what Dana's best friend Traci organized next door.
15One of the Guys
22 Jan 1993Description ▼
Hearing that Mark has made a whopping profit in hypothetical stock investments, the greedy siblings force him to invest their meager savings for real. Even Brandon's Chipmunk cookie sale earnings are used, with Cody as adult agent. Carol applauded the union's demand that Frank hires a female construction worker. Alas when she sees Aggie's s-chest sizes, which she argued can't obstruct good work, she turns jealously suspicious. Then Frank gets stuck with her in a motel.
16No Business Like Show Business
05 Feb 1993Description ▼
JT is confident he does not need to do schoolwork now that the local TV is interested in his and Cody's show "JT's World". Frank warns showbiz glitter is ephemeral. Carol drags his to art class, which sounds better when that turns out to be nude modeling - but only by studly Steve. When the girls prove interested, Carol suddenly adopts his objections.
17Love, Port Washington Style
12 Feb 1993Description ▼
Dana is dumped by her boyfriend right before Valentine's Day, and takes out her frustrations on everyone, including a potential new suitor. Meanwhile, Frank gets a temporary job at Carol's hair salon, and his new hairstyles - caused by his own ineptitude, rather than creativity - quickly become popular with the local teen-agers (but not their parents).
18Aloha: Part 1
19 Feb 1993Description ▼
The family - don't forget Cody - vacation in Hawaii. Among other adventures, Dana meets the man of her dreams, a beach bum named Brian. The two hit it off, and the romance quickly blossoms to the point where Brian gives Dana a 6-karat solitaire diamond ring in a Tiffany setting. However, Dana is heartbroken when Carol finds out and objects to the impending marriage.
19Aloha: Part 2
26 Feb 1993Description ▼
Frank and (especially) Carol refuse to accept daughter Dana's engagement, they get into a huge argument. Dana considers eloping with sweetheart Brian, but when the two begin talking about their future, they realize that perhaps they were not meant for each other after all and (sadly) break it off. Meanwhile, the others become engaged in adventures involving sand castles and buried treasure.
20No Way to Treat a Lady
12 Mar 1993Description ▼
JT feels he's found the perfect girl in detention, biker Gina. So JT makes Mark tutor her to avoid a grounding on the day of a rock concert. Alas, the company of a perfect gentleman makes her realize JT's caveman manners aren't flattering. Now Cody is to play the girl in Mark's gentlemen finishing school. Al's choice for Carol to help her choose a first bra is first for Frank as her non-preferential parent.
02 Apr 1993Description ▼
Mark is recruited to join the local Pony League baseball team (which Frank coaches and Al is the star catcher) after one of Al's teammates suffers a season-ending injury. Mark, who was never good at baseball, may wind up spending the season on the bench ... until he gets his opportunity to save the day in the championship game.
30 Apr 1993Description ▼
Karen swears revenge after JT gives the yearbook a nude baby photo of her. However skeptic about psychics, JT accompanies Cody to Madame Sonia, who predicts he'll be murdered after midnight by a person fitting Karen's description. Caring Cody's concern ends up contaminating 'targeted' cousin JT. Frank is almost proud his bed was worn out 'by Tarzan bed' and buys a second-hand luxury mechanical model- with quirks.
23This Old House
07 May 1993Description ▼
Frank wins a contract to construct a multi-million dollar office complex, and this will necessitate the removal of a house sitting on a key part of the property. He hires munitions expert Cody to level the structure, but when Cody goes inside to inspect the structure, he finds out that a family is still living there. Meet the Emersons, a couple with two children that have been down on their luck for the last year; both parents had lost their jobs several months earlier, and are now penniless and have nowhere else to stay. Cody is sympathetic and immediately refuses to destroy the house. Frank, nervous about the repercussions, tries to get Cody to start the work ... until project backer Mr. Hartman threatens to sue Frank for breach of contract, a move that could force the Lamberts into bankruptcy. Carol learns about the Emersons' situation and rallies to their aid. In the end, Mr. Hartman agrees to a plan to have the house moved, and Mr. Emerson gets a job on Frank's payroll. Also: J.T. becomes the manager of Al's envelope-stuffing enterprise (where Mark and Brendan are also working), but is quickly overbearing; the three younger siblings revolt and J.T. is left to complete the work himself.
21 May 1993Description ▼
Carol sets Karen up with a young lad named Freddy for the dance, but Karen has her eye on someone more desirable. Karen asks the other fellow, Jeffrey, out, then dumps Freddy by lying to him. At the dance, Jeffrey and Karen win the "Perfect Couple" award, but when they spot Freddy, Karen's conscience gets to her and she decides to apologize. Meanwhile, Frank becomes imprisoned in Cody's van after he installs an alarm that works all too well.
24 Sep 1993Description ▼
Dana taught her ma showing boyfriends baby stories and pictures was utter embarrassment, but her present beau Daniel is the director in the local playhouse and insists to turn his mate Cody, who does stage building for free but hurts his finger must expressively, into an actor, and casts him as Romeo opposite 'Danaburger', the only one who refuses to see his many good sides, as Juliette. Her performance now is an eloquent case for loveless life, but then Cody speaks up for her... Frank promised Carol not to play golf while the doctor forbids it for an also invented back injury, but even lost his wedding ring on the links, which she actually found in the car...
01 Oct 1993Description ▼
While a friend of hers is away for three months, Dana can have her apartment. Carol is against, but Frank convinces her this is the best way to let her try out living alone close by before she goes to college next year. Carol gives in, but is obsessed with 'her baby' to the point Al feels neglected. Even J.T. discovers he misses one thing about Barky: a sparring partner at trading verbal abuse. At first Dana felt hounded by ma, but once she's really alone feels miserable enough to start talking to Gordon, the pot plant Cody gave her as company. She's ready to return to the comfortable nest, but now Carol has changed her tune, so she calls the men for fake repairs in the apartment... Meanwhile Frank has accepted a construction client's payment in kind: the TV of his choice, to put in the parents' bedroom, but Carol makes him promise to throw it out as soon as watching sports gets in the way of their love life given his addiction to sports airings...
3Never on Sunday
08 Oct 1993Description ▼
A hip young preacher has taken over the pastoral duties at Carol's church. Carol and her children are faithful members, but somehow, Frank and the Lamberts seldom, if ever, attend - that is, except for Cody, who along with his biker buddies are devout Christians. Carol aims to change that and tries to convince Frank, J.T., Al and Brendan to come. While she is somewhat successful with the children, Frank stubbornly (and childishly) refuses to come to church - mainly, because it will interfere with a Sunday full of watching sports on TV. The pastor convinces Frank that his church is very accommodating, which is enough for Frank. Or is it? He comes to church the next Sunday, but only to sneak off to the attic (above the sanctuary), where he has hidden a TV. All is well ... until the attic floor breaks under his weight!
4The Paper Chase
15 Oct 1993
22 Oct 1993Description ▼
Is it easier being a teen-ager or a parent? That's the question Frank and Carol hope to resolve with J.T. and Dana when they agree to "switch places" for a weekend. The exercise comes after J.T. and Dana refuse to do their share of the housework and complain that Frank and Carol seem to do nothing themselves.
29 Oct 1993Description ▼
When Mark frets over getting his first "A" (instead of the A-pluses he has been so accustomed to), Frank decides the best way to relieve the tension is to play video games. However, Mark quickly becomes a video game addict, forcing Carol to take drastic steps to break her son out of his new addiction. Meanwhile, Cody drives Dana nuts with his ways of trying to cure the common cold ... with mind power.
05 Nov 1993
8Down and Out in Port Washington
12 Nov 1993Description ▼
Cody's van, Lucille (which is both his home and main mode of transportation) is in the shop for repairs, and he agrees to stay in the house. Naturally, he drives everyone crazy with his oddball antics, such as his ant farm, hanging laundry in the living room and interrupting private moments between Frank and Carol. Later, he gets a call saying that the van is beyond repair (it "died on the grease rack," as the mechanic puts it), meaning he may be staying permanently. Carol is frustrated enough to threaten to move out, but Cody then realizes it is the rest of the family that is driving him nuts and decides to take back Lucille and, after parking it on the lawn (as a stationary vehicle), move back in. Meanwhile, Dana is volunteering at a homeless shelter and brings over a young man to help her organize a donation drive. Karen is smitten and wants to ask him out, so she decides to volunteer at the shelter to get at him. Dana advises against it, but when Karen won't listen to reason, Dana lets her go ... where Karen finds out the guy already has a girlfriend. Karen is very upset, thinking her day had been wasted, but then Carol sets her vain daughter straight. Karen realizes she has more than most of the people the shelter is helping and decides to donate the refunds from three expensive cashmere sweaters she had just bought to the shelter.
9The Marrying Dude
19 Nov 1993
26 Nov 1993Description ▼
Karen asks Dana to help her break the ice with a cute guy named Michael, but the man asks Dana out instead. Later, Dana is talking with one of the Foster sisters' mutual friends, and Dana re-enforces the idea that Karen and Michael are not dating. Unknown to Dana, J.T. is tape-recording the private telephone conversation. Later, J.T. plays back the tape to Karen, who then realizes that Dana has snared the guy that she had her eye on; J.T. hopes that, by sharing his ill-gotten knowledge, Dana and Karen will get into such a violent fight both of them will kill each other. Karen is upset and calls Michael up, telling him that Dana is 14 years old. Michael breaks off the relationship, informing her that her "older" sister revealed the information. Dana goes home to confront Karen, but cooler heads prevail - Karen admits she is jealous of Dana, whose biggest asset is her brains. Dana reassures Karen that she is smart, funny and beautiful and all is well. In the end, not only does J.T.'s plan never come to pass, he (and Al and Brendan as well) all get taught a hard lesson about listening in on private phone conversations. In the subplot, Frank's anxiety over dancing at various receptions he and Carol are guests at is the result of his inability to dance. Cody helps Frank get over his problem.
10 Dec 1993
12Close Encounters of the Marital Kind
17 Dec 1993
07 Jan 1994Description ▼
When she has trouble making (and keeping) friends, Al decides to start hanging out with a group of bad girls. When Dana alerts Frank about Al's new friends, he prohibits her from seeing them again, leading to a huge argument. Eventually, Al realizes her friends are no good when they let her take the fall for stealing Cody's electric guitar.
14Read All About It
14 Jan 1994
15Thirteen with a Bullet
28 Jan 1994
04 Feb 1994
18 Feb 1994Description ▼
Karen comes home giddy with excitement over the modeling opportunity of a lifetime: A noted photographer is at the mall looking for a cover girl for a new jeans advertisement. On the day of the model selection, Al accompanies Karen and Carol to the mall (so she can shop for new hockey equipment). The photographer passes over Karen and the others, seeing nothing unique about them. However, Al - dressed in a hat and her trademark tomboyish clothes - turns out to be exactly the girl the photographer is after. Karen is outraged and insults her step-sister in front of Carol, telling her that being a model is more difficult than it looks; she even goes so far as to say that she still doesn't consider Al part of the family and never will. Carol is hurt, and Al's usual self-assuredness takes a deep hit. However, on the day of the photo shoot, when Al tries to back out of her opportunity, Karen - who had gone to the mall incognito to see her step-sister fall flat on her face - realizes she needs to give Al a big boost of encouragement and apologize for her earlier comments. Al goes on to have the time of her life, and shows the poise and confidence she always had.
25 Feb 1994
19Birth of a Salesman
11 Mar 1994Description ▼
This synopsis is too short and may not include the required detailed description of the entire plot. We normally require that synopses be at least 10 lines long. If you have seen this title, please help us by improving and expanding this synopsis. Frank and Carol decide to force JT whether going to college or start working. Then he becomes an excellent car saler. Dana studies Cody's psychology and is surprised to learn that she's having behaviour problems
25 Mar 1994Description ▼
Carol begins to feel insecure about her appearance and aging beauty as her 40th birthday approaches, so she orders some diet pills that make matters even worse. Meanwhile, Cody consults with a psychic to meet Abraham Lincoln (the topic of Al's term paper). Al decides to do the research herself as the unorthodox Cody claims he is having a normal(?) conversation with the 16th president.
21The Case of the Missing Diary
29 Apr 1994
06 May 1994
20 May 1994
23 Sep 1994Description ▼
Mark feels that he is not getting enough respect so he takes up karate. After the teacher kicks Mark out of the class, he turns to Cody for help. Cody, who has a black belt, helps train Mark for the big tournament. On the day of the tournament, Mark faces the best person. He falls behind in the beginning, but Cody sees his weaknesses and Mark comes back and ties the match at 2-2. Although Mark ends up losing the match, he gains everyone's respect, except the teacher that kicked him out of the class. He challenges Cody and is beaten badly. In the Lambert house, there is constant fighting, so Frank installs an intercom. Later on, he takes it down because it wakes everyone up in the middle of the night.
30 Sep 1994Description ▼
College freshman Dana hopes to impress a tough English professor with her usual "intellectual" attitude - but learns a humbling lesson when she gets a "D" on her first term paper. Cody also enrolls in college, while J.T. finds out the hard way about how credit cards work.
07 Oct 1994
14 Oct 1994
5Revenge of the Nerd
21 Oct 1994
28 Oct 1994
7Growing Up Is Hard to Do
04 Nov 1994Description ▼
This synopsis is too short and may not include the required detailed description of the entire plot. We normally require that synopses be at least 10 lines long. If you have seen this title, please help us by improving and expanding this synopsis. It's Al's first date. And is it a good idea to ask Karen for advice ?
11 Nov 1994
9The Ice Cream Man Cometh
18 Nov 1994
25 Nov 1994
11Make Room for Daddy
09 Dec 1994
12I'll Be Home for Christmas
16 Dec 1994
13Can't Buy Me Love
06 Jan 1995Description ▼
JT's job at the car dealership pays lousy, but he can drive sports cars and uses 'his' present Porsche to make Shelley, the quit daughter of Cody's favorite diner's owner, believe he's rich; when JT runs out of money, he finds an envelope he starts spending on a necklace for her, before he learns her dad lost the business's earnings in an envelope... Meanwhile Frank finds fathering a baby with Carol means not just providing the seed as in his first marriage, for starters he must join her at gynecology check-up. The kids consider their recording too boring to watch, so Frank gets a professional birth video...
20 Jan 1995Description ▼
Cody is directing a movie 'Free Goldy' (a goldfish) with fancy titles or parts for everyone, but only Mark realized it first needs a script. The parents object to student Dana going out with 36 year-old Paul, and meeting his family and friends makes her and her sisters wonder if they're right, next she learns he has an ex and two kids who need a step-mother. Pregnant mother Carol has excessive eating compulsions, devouring anything and all on her own, while neglecting to cook for the family...
15The Honeymoon Is Over
03 Feb 1995Description ▼
It's Frank's birthday, and he knows exactly what he wants, a trout tracker, but Carol believes in shopping for a surprise gift, and comes up with a 'treat' he considers torture, 'French bikini briefs'. When Mark's girlfriend Gabrielle, another sexually naive nerd, stays over, the siblings form two camps, not by parents but boys-girls: Dana preaches girl power, JT the man wearing the pants, only Cody tells the love birds to follow their heart and just enjoy making up.
16One Truck, Al Dente
10 Feb 1995Description ▼
Dana is over-sensitive to painkillers, but after a serious dentist job can't stand it, and gets stoned badly enough to get frisky with the Codemeister and try his ice-cream-headache. Carol drags Frank to nurse Decker's baby-care class, where he demonstrates easy ways to- kill any baby. Al has got her driver's license, but Frank won't let her drive 'while there may be other cars driving' without a responsible adult, so she convinces JT -who never thought of himself as either- and gets a king-size dent in Frank's firm truck driving one yard, against a bin on the driveway. Against Cody's advice to tell the truth, JT tries a fender-bender paste...
17Head of the Class
17 Feb 1995Description ▼
Dana is proud as a peacock to be selected as tutor for a remedial class- till she learns her colleague is Cody, nobody pays any attention to Miss Foster's dry academic lecture on the Civil War but Codeman's reconstruction of Gettysburg is a regular hit with the kids. The bunch of lifetime losers must be prepared in two weeks because Cody enrolled the class for the TV Quiz It's Aademic... Meanwhile Frank got the other kids to help with housework for the unborn baby's sake, but Carol can't accept anything they do without minutely following her utterly obsessive perfectionist rules, till she sees young Brendan got so worried that the boy started doing that nonsense at night...
18Back to School
03 Mar 1995Description ▼
When J.T. hears his mate Dave got into a management trainee program for a cushion job at general Motors, he's jealous enough to take up a college program, but Cody -whose enthusiasm helped persuade lazy cousin- and ever nasty Barky soon notice his study habits are, well, lacking the study element. Indeed J.T. flunks his first test and intends to return to washing cars. Fortunately Cody pushes him to try again, and Mark notices J.T. has symptoms of dyslexia... Frank is a bit insulted when Carol insists they apply to get the baby into the Sutton Academy, not Daisy's where all his kids went. Sutton's selectors prove obnoxious snobs, hardly impressed by the Lambert kids, nor anything in the house, even scorn Carol's home-baked pie...
19She Came in Through the Bedroom Window
17 Mar 1995
31 Mar 1995Description ▼
Dana can't believe that night-school student J.T. earned his first A-plus in class, then learns the reason had nothing to do with anything he did; the teacher wants to seduce J.T., a marginal student at best. At first, J.T. refuses to believe Dana until he realizes the truth for himself. Meanwhile, Cody's sleepwalking and childlike behavior, which includes crawling into bed with Frank and Carol, annoys the family; and Frank buys a "macho barbecue" as a kit - but has trouble assembling the complex monster-sized grill ... because he won't read the instructions.
21Where Have You Gone, Joe DiMaggio?
28 Apr 1995Description ▼
When JT makes fun of Karen who wears a fake pregnancy ('wale') suit, while Carol is really expecting, Barky dares the short-sighted kid, for an utter admission of the weaker sex, worth foot-kissing, by keeping up a fake pregnancy the whole weekend; Frank knew better, but still accepts Carol's identical dare. Their initial fun ceases when landed with public chick chores in the wale suits... Meanwhile ever kind Cody takes young Brendan to a baseball-game to see his favorite player Kenny Barton, according to Carol a bad role model, but when Cody distracts the guard Edgar, so Brandon can ask his idol an autograph in the locker-room on his only home-run-ball, but the man's implacable $50 greed, no kids discount, destroys the boy's admiration, he even dumps the ball. Fortunately Cody is till around, and already Edgar's friend, so he goes tells the ugly truth to the press, live on air; they thus meet star sports reporter Harmon Killebrew, an oldie in the Hall of Fame, who couldn't agree more and gracefully volunteers his free autograph.
22Adventures in Babysitting
05 May 1995Description ▼
Frank is pleased enough with Cody's construction work, actually bright compared to Dave, to promote his cool cousin to foreman, but Cody has the natural boss-authority of a doormat, and gets ordered to fire inept well-meaning newbie Dave, who doesn't stop at sob stories... When dad Frank refuses to finance Al's $500 Disneyland trip, J.T. decides to earn the money together by babysitting, over ten kids simultaneously. The cocky first boy is a challenge, the second- bus-load a nightmares subscription with demolition option... Meanwhile Karen demonstrates that spending money -on a prom dress- can be even slower and more tiring for pregnant ma Carol...
23Big Girl on Campus
12 May 1995Description ▼
Carol has decided to get rid of most of Frank's 'junk' (a matter of taste and memories) by holding a garage sale, so he overprices, she even wants to give in to a shameless shark who never bids more then a quarter. Cody tries to win a Port Washington song competition for the chamber of commerce in his melodically most monotonous blues guitar tradition. Meanwhile Al successfully begs Dana to take not only man-eater Karen but also her along to a Kappa Alpha Sigma party. Slick frat-boy Jeremy frowns on Karen but accepts Al's blunt invitation to dance, then volunteers to show her the campus. The sisters overhear he systematically takes girls to his room aka his 'petting zoo' for an elaborate seduction routine. They need only one word to chase him: fifteen. The seductresses trio even takes shameless 'revenge' by theft and vandalism.
24A Foster/Lambert Production
19 May 1995Description ▼
Cody assures Carol his 36 hours of video should last her entire adventure when she starts labor. J.T. can't be bothered to drive the family till Frank jump-starts him hard-handedly, then manages to 'forget' the Foster kids, so in the hospital waiting room Cody has little luck trying to make memories -since how it all started and the rare moments Lambert-Foster sibling help occurred- lead to a true fraternization. Meanwhile Carol puts Frank in charge of guarding her foolish resolve to have 'natural' childbirth without anesthesia, pulling his hair atrociously as soon as contractions come, then scolding everyone once help arrives. Finally Lilly joins the clan, the first-ever true mixed-blood Foster- Lambert...
1Lil Sister Dontcha
22 Sep 1995Description ▼
J.T. and his pal, Rich Halke, are planning to go to the drive-in theater to make out with their girlfriends. What J.T. doesn't know is the identity of Rich's girlfriend - Al. J.T. is now determined to put a stop to the date, knowing that his little sister will be kissing someone three years older than she is.
2Three Girls and a Baby
29 Sep 1995Description ▼
Cody believes his own obituary, especially when the money machine does the same... Frank and Carol are sick and tired of spending no quality time since months, so the girls are to babysit Lilly while the parents book a romantic dinner, alas in a restaurant where the staff on strike expects solidarity, the movie theater is terribly chatter-noisy and sneezy, making out-point gets them visited by a bear... The girls wrestle with diapers and Dana's feminist nightmare-version of fairy-tales, then lock themselves out of the nursery and make it worse trying to use tools, still Dana would refuse male help from the fire department Karen called for...
13 Oct 1995Description ▼
Dana moves out at 19 to a college dorm- well, Frank and the other kids move it up, anything to get her out! Carol is heartbroken her 'baby' is gone, so infant baby Lilly stays in the parental bedroom, nearly four months longer then agreed with Frank, who fears he's heading for a sexless year. When Carol finally gives in, she is too neurotic for sex even with the baby monitor on, and moves into Lilly's nursery. When Karen and Al visit Dana, they find the A-student transformed into a vicious party-animal beyond sisterly help. The next morning the whole dorm is a total dump, and Dana the worst looking item in it, when ma arrives... Cody is sure the new neighbor, Tom Flynn, is the jewel thief he saw on America's Most wanted, and sets a trap with J.T. and Mark, based on the package from New York Flynn asks them to sign for...
20 Oct 1995Description ▼
J.T. and Dana help a friend man a crisis hotline as part of a class project. While the two are alone, a call comes in from a suicidal subject named Todd, whose living situation is much like the Fosters and Lamberts. Dana and J.T., who have never handled an actual crisis, realize they must put aside their grievances with each other to talk Todd out of making a mistake that would cause his family even more pain and suffering. Meanwhile, Carol frets about being unable to make baby daughter Lily fall asleep in her arms - so she becomes envious when Cody seems to have the magic touch.
5Maid to Order
27 Oct 1995Description ▼
Now the Lamberts are auditioning for a housekeeper, J.T. chooses Carrie Clark without qualifications for first-sight-obvious reasons; they get 24 hours, and it looks like she couldn't learn in 24 years, even with excessive help from the horny teenager... To Mark's surprise, Cody gives dance-lessons to rest-home ladies. Al has a shot at becoming Wildcats head cheerleader, which pushy ma Carol still furiously regrets having missed out on in her day, so never mind algebra, practice till you drop, yet Karen Covington gets the job...
03 Nov 1995Description ▼
Cody put a mail-order in post-Soviet Russia for a Koloshnikov radio, but accidentally filled in the form box for Koloshnikova- Ludmilla, a bride as fat and ugly as eager to spend his money, even over his credit card limit on the first mall raid... Karen has spent her live savings, $500, on a dodgy producer ('office' a hotel room by the airport) to launch her in country music. Barky can't appreciate the singing but even less the cheating, so she makes sure her airhead sister gets value for her money... Frank and Carol are sick and tired of the six kids to ask them for help with everything they van just as well do themselves, so they forbid them to ask except in extreme emergencies, but define those far too strict, so good boy Brandon is 'kidnapped' by classmates because he would miss his dream field trip to a Green Bay Packers soccer game after failing to get his parental permission slip signed...
7Hello, Mister Chips
10 Nov 1995Description ▼
Being fired at her last job, Al must work at a chain's local new cookie-place where the corporate mascot chimp Mr. Chips is madly venerated. When the trainer can't pick Mr. Chips up, manager Sloan makes Al take him home or she's sacked again. The other girls agree to help hide him in their room, but he soon escapes... Carol couldn't get Frank to play Tarzan and Jane in a kissing sketch with her now she may host a benefit, till he jealously sees his hunky replacement Troy Hartman... When Cody shows nerd Mark pool is a matter of physics and trigonometry, he creams J.T. and his equally dumb mate Rich Halke, so they bet $1,000 on him against giant hustler Big Jim, but learning the high stakes gives him the gibbers and Cody...
17 Nov 1995Description ▼
Cody proudly announces he got a back-breaking 'dream job', as 'stagehound' (roadie) for Mark's idol, rock band singer Christi Rose and Petal to the Metal, and gets the geeky kid to meet her backstage. Impressed with kind, cool Cody's way to handle fans, Christi asks him as her personal body-guard. Meanwhile, the four eldest kids' constant begging and fighting for the family car convinces Carol and Frank to buy another car for them. The kids' enthusiasm over Frank's car choice, a Mustang convertible, cools when it seems to be his baby, rather too precious to be left in their hands... Fleeing a horde of pushy fans in Cody's arms and on his Harley, Christy stays the night as his guest in the Lambert house and asks him to come along on her six months tour...
24 Nov 1995Description ▼
To Dana's surprise, both other members of her aggressive-paranoid feminist club accept Cody as first-ever male member and de facto prime interest; anyhow, everybody on campus prefers the fun-only toga party to their 'politically correct' meeting... Carol uses a 'part two' promise to make Frank join her for a free spa treatment, actually rather a mud and German massage nightmare... Mark attends the spring dance, obviously on the loser wall, but when football captain Chuck's girlfriend Tawny sees him flirt, she makes a point by dancing with Mark, whose crazy moves are a hit. Chuck is held back by the public...
10Baby Come Back
01 Dec 1995Description ▼
Dana was eager to see 'the Amazing Codini' perform, but realizes too late he takes her into the magic box, hasn't fixed the necessary link to get out again and has no back-up plan, even knocks it over- they are trapped indefinitely, to her absolute horror, while he enjoys the closeness; yet salvation is within reach all the time... Meanwhile Carol dragged Frank to a beauty convention (a fake temperature doesn't fool experienced parents), then told him to entertain himself as she couldn't interest him in the least, only to finds Frank enjoying a female participator's manual hair-care too much... Reading about a cash price for the baby chosen at a Yum-Yum baby-food commercial audition, Lilly's babysitters J.T. and Al dashed off thereto but are too excited. When their parents return, Lilly has been switched with a baby-boy...
11The Flight Before Christmas
15 Dec 1995Description ▼
Cody has got himself electrocuted with high voltage on his van's Christmas lighting for a local contest. J.T. proves himself a gifted salesman eager to pay for a ski trip, but Cody's friend George, who never saved a cent after 42 years in an ice cream cart because he even gave cones away just to see the kids' happy faces, sabotages every attempt to sell a beautiful Christmas tree he promised to Jimmy, a boy who could never afford one and may accept no charity, so George gave the kid a 'job' after an exam ('name?'). Frank invited Mitch Crawford's Californian family, who knew the Lamberts years ago, for the family's Christmas dinner instead of the lousy local motel. Both fathers arranged for hunky son Matt Crawford to 'date' tomcat Al, Carol got them shamefully sissy ballet tickets. The unwilling teenagers meet at tender-hooks, but discover to be rather alike, give the tickets away, go to ice-hockey instead- and are caught tongue-kissing in the car by Frank, who looses it at Matt till the Crawfords move out insulted: far beneath Carols's hospitality standard, especially for Christmas...
12What's Wrong with This Picture?
05 Jan 1996Description ▼
Despite Al's assurance Casey Maxwell isn't his type, J.T. can't resist dating a fox with a limo driver when she calls him cute. Alas the spoiled crime princess of a Chicago mob killer his terrifying expectations and ways to enforce them... Frank refuses to let Carol call an exterminator since a rat couldn't be a match for his manly hunter's nature- well, this one certainly is and he gets wrecked far worse by the traps then the rodent... Dana is proud to be asked as model for her college's resident artist, even more arrogant-feminist abstract painter Jayne McNeal, but nearly has a fit when she hears at the auction it's Jayne's first photographic realistic portrait, and the thought of it being bought gets mother Carol even more berserk...
13Beautiful Ladies of Wrestling
12 Jan 1996Description ▼
Cody figures his camping trip is ideal to test his latest invention: edible food, so he doesn't have to carry provisions, but grizzly bears love eating more... J.T. convinces Frank to accept Dave's Sports bar's annual dare 'I'll Do Anything For Superbowl tickets'- they must turn up cross-dressing as cheerleaders waving pompoms, to be told they can get the tickets, only - after surviving ten rounds with two wrestling harpies, ominously called Assault and Battery, while the boys are black and blue in one... Proud high-school teacher Mrs. Whitney gets to settle a grudge since his graduation against J.T. when she drops by with Carol to arrange enthusiastic model pupil Mark's transfer to an elitist academy for advanced learning in the city, but getting a 'mere' C makes him too determined to get his grade up to spend a single second on anything else 24 hours a day, not even his favorite dinner, so his average ex-classmates Roland and Ben devour his share and much, much more...
14Torn Between Two Mothers
26 Jan 1996Description ▼
Helping J.T. to look for a job without any qualifications, Cody finds one only appealing to himself: test subject for 'virtually painless' medical brain experiments. When Frank brings Carol flowers and candy, she correctly suspects bad news: his mother Helen Lambert is visiting to see baby Lilly. The children and Cody love the generous (to J.T.'s shock only till age 18) grandmother, but Carol hates the know-it-all's eternal bickering and unwanted 'advice' in all domestic matters. Once 'nana' hears Carol wants to go back to work, she even intends to move to Port Washington and raise Lilly as nanny... Dana signed up the sisters for a police-organized self-defense class for women, where J.T. was hired as sparring partner in a padded suit, which proves less protective then its looks...
02 Feb 1996Description ▼
Cody has the hiccups badly, scaring him doesn't work; Mark hypnotizes him, again no luck. Reading a murder story 'Die, Mommy, Die' in bed makes Carol frighteningly itchy, so Frank is sent down and catches Matt kissing Al, yet Carol reads on and gets terrible nightmares (literally painfully for hubby)... Frank declines allowing Al to join a ski trip with Matt because teenagers are as horny as bunnies. When J.T. guesses what teen-boys doubtlessly do in a ski-lodge with girls and Karen reports Al's place was taken by reputedly 'easy' Stephanie 'Loveboat' Leifer, Al is as worried as J.T. is eager to drive her there. Spying in a tree, Al sees Matt faithfully resists the vamp in the hot-tub, but falls in herself, forgetting about J.T. ...
09 Feb 1996Description ▼
Valentines day approaches, but after catching a date cheating on her, Dana hates men more then ever. Cody encourages her to take in interest in a romantic secret admirer, who clearly does a good job- it's the Codemeister incognito. When Cody hears she thinks it's gorgeous Danny, an English major, who is also a waiter in campus coffee-shop Bear's lair, he goes tell her the truth... Frank bought Carol a fake Rolex, even J.T. senses the 'white lie' he calls 'deeper, spiritual truth' will turn against him. Indeed, when she goes return it, knowing they can't afford such luxury, she gets arrested for asking cash for a fake... .
16 Feb 1996Description ▼
Cody invents greeting cards- for weird occasions, and on 'appropriate' objects instead of cards. When Karen is furious a girl-friend stole her date, J.T. and his mate Rich Halke sneer boys wouldn't risk a friend for a mere chick, so the girls get foxy Brandi Hartman to prove rivaling boys back-stab mates too, but they catch on and decide to get even by exaggerating scarily until... Frank and Carol are repeatedly mistaken for baby-daughter Lilly's grandparents, so Carol accepts an invitation by a couple they met there to a grunge party, but the violent dance style is too much- especially for Frank's back...
18Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
23 Feb 1996Description ▼
When Cody wears his cheese-head, he guesses the lotto numbers without fault, but never plays because he only enjoys winning, not the 'burden' of fortune; when Mark and Karen find out, he accepts to give them the numbers, but his generosity goes further then they bargained for... When Dana presents her brilliant boyfriend, psychology student Fleming Adler, and says they may get serious, Frank is ecstatic he might get rid of one of his seven in-living children, despite Karen's warning Fleming is an insufferable prick, but his theory that complete honesty is always best antagonizes both parents in a matter of minutes, and Dana isn't exempted... J.T. lets Laura believe he is baby-sister Lily's dad so the girl will date him, but Frank is home; when J.T. confesses the truth...
19Do the Right Thing
08 Mar 1996Description ▼
J.T.'s school sends an academic probation note for terrible grades, Frank says buckle up or get a job. He studies for a change, then his even dumber mate Rich offers him a bought cheat-sheet for the history test; he doesn't use it and earns his B, but Dana finds it falling out of Rich's textbook after hey got mixed up, Frank decides to pull him out off school for that, being lied to too often... Cody is suckered into buying cookies on Visa from vicious Buttercup girls. Al and a friend want a shaved head and tattoos, ma Carol refuses; the other girls must promise not to tell she sneaks out, Dana 'hints' till ma gets it...
20The Bodyguard Formerly Known as Prince
15 Mar 1996Description ▼
Since Rich Halke passed on 20 copies of a chain-letter, he has nothing but good luck, while the Lamberts who laughed at the nonsense, even his mate J.T., pile up misery; soon Brandon sends his copies on, with the desired effect... To get completely over her break-up with Brad, Karen takes Dana and Al along to a ski-lodge, hunting for hunks. They soon realize the trio they hook up with must be crown prince Philippe of the anchovies-exporting kingdom of Calderone, reported in the press to be visiting incognito, who senses they know and decides to pass himself off as just Phil, his hired, slow-witted beefy bodyguard Ralph as the prince, his secretary of protocol Charles as just Chuck...
26 Apr 1996Description ▼
Given her varied interests, Dana takes a placement test at the Newton center to choose a major; J.T. and Rich join her as 'naked volleyball' is not accepted. The improbable career advices are prison guard, psychologist and M.D., so Dana returns and discovers the testing is a blatantly incompetent scam... Carole calls a marker and hires a young friend in Frank's construction firm: Jake 'Flash' Gordon, eager and kind but a bundle of adrenaline and equally dangerous inexperience, unable to get any instruction right, and yet...
22We're Going to Disney World: Part 1
03 May 1996Description ▼
Frank's widowed ma Helen Lambert makes the whole family an 'early inheritance' gift': a week with her in Disney world, so the couple can forget about a mountain weekend to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Rich has followed 800 miles by bus at J.T.'s invitation. Flash drove that far just to return Frank's hammer and decides when Mark reads the record of the Magic Kingdom's attractions, shops and eating places is currently held by a Russian, coached ruthlessly by master-organizer Mark, who actually gets permission to monitor him from the park headquarters, assisted by Brandon. Even Rich isn't dumb enough to believe J.T. is wise to spend all their hard-earned savings on crazy luxury for two girls they meet, but goes along- till they're broke, then even breaks up their old friendship... The girls decide to enter a Country and Western talent-contest with cowboy-focused Dana and Al as talented Karen's backing choir...
23We're Going to Disney World: Part 2
10 May 1996Description ▼
Flash continues his record attempt, even acting in the Indiana Jones show as the intrepid adventurer. The girls repeat Karen's Country and Western number for hours; when Dana and Al protest because the would-be-star won't even agree to lunch break, she decides to try it in the Neon Armadillo solo, but freezes choked by stage-fright; the other two offer to try again as a trio, which is an instant success. J.T. and Rich aren't even on speaking terms anymore, till Flash makes the big spender admit it's all his fault and realize he's throwing his best, even only good friendship away for pointless pride, Rich accepts J.T.'s offer to cash in his plane ticket, drive back and start over saving as friends. Mark discovers everything was open later when the Russian took the title, so Flash gets three extra hours. The parents realize only Lilly will remain with them long, grandma Helen gives them their actual anniversary night alone in her condo.
24Men at Work
17 May 1996Description ▼
When Flash intends to move to his aunt in Kansas City, commuting 8 hours twice a day, Carol invites him to the Lambert home. Frank has bough second-hand stuff to build a bachelor frat-style guys room in the basement, with a mechanical bull... Dana considers her feminist protest against scanty-dress waitresses in Mr. Packwood's diner Yabbos failed when they decide to hire male waiters in sexy shorts too, but the other girls 'get hungry' while J.T. and Rich decide to apply for the job to get close to the foxy colleagues; however the female customers actually prove as abusive pigs as Dana calls all men...
07 Mar 1997Description ▼
Dana is looking forward to her first tutoring pupil, but gets- J.T.'s brainless pal Rich. To their surprise and everybody -except Karen-'s disgust they find when teenage hormones rage closely collaborating opposites really attract, enough to kiss and start dating against every principle and preference... Meanwhile Frank is desperate to get rid of Carol's crazy French hairdresser Jean-Luc Rieupeyroux, who clings to them, his only friends in America, since his nasty divorce; after sending him away from the hot-tub in the spa where they hoped to spend a weekend alone, they learn he planned a moonlight picnic with them celebrating his birthday...
14 Mar 1997Description ▼
JT and Rich convince Frank they're responsible enough to make a road-trip to Mexico. Dana joins them as stowaway and assumes the office of purse-bearer. Alas she leaves the boys penniless at a burrito stand, so they're jailed. Her sass to cop Valdez, as if the $25 fine were corruption, gets her locked-up too. Their only call home gets the usual treatment: ignored by their younger siblings. Meanwhile Jean-Luc admits he can't drive, so carol tries to teach him. Thus she finds out he's dyslexic and color-blind.
3Sex, Lies and Videotape
21 Mar 1997Description ▼
When Mark fails to trick Frank into signing parental permission to see Showgirls at the movies, equally horny and frustrated mates convince him to rent together a Little Mermaid video- well, the box with a naughty nurses video inside. Alas their suspicious precautions make it obvious their session in the garage can't be innocent... Meanwhile François congratulates J.T. on finding a ten year older French woman willing to go steady with him, which frightens both parents. After she pressures the kid into promising a wedding, client Michèle explains in the salon her green-card runs out by Wednesday, unless she can get an immature crazy Yankee to marry her...
4Just Say Maybe
28 Mar 1997Description ▼
Carole's resolve to forbid the teenagers, most eager being Al, to attend Rockfestival '97 as unsupervised temptation is completely undermined by her visiting friend Patti Roberts, married to cop David, proclaiming the kids couldn't get half as mischievous as Carol at Woodstock, so they get to go. There Al's mate Will Peters invites them to smoke free weed in his stoned hippie uncle Marvin "Buzz"'s van... Back home, Patti feels neglected and flirts with 'exotic' gentleman Jean-Luc, who once realizing she's married tries to hide in French cooking, then tells her to convince Dave he should pay her romantic attention again...
5The 'L' Word
04 Apr 1997Description ▼
Rich is worried when Dana has a 'meaningless' date with her former high-school debate teammate Jeff Burton, who is no longer an acne geek who was mercilessly picked at but turned out the pick of the pack: gorgeous, in Harvard pre-Law school, a generous gentleman, Dana's official dream man, and she accepts his invitation to a reception where the dean absolutely wants his favorite undergrad, Jeff. It gets a self-invited surprise guest... Frank's long-awaited fishing trip looses its luster when his mate Virgil cancels and Carol accepted on his behalf for Jean-Luc, who thinks camping requires an espresso machine. Frank forbids him to tell the neighbors he's a contractor to avoid requests for free handiwork, so he passed them off for brain-surgeons. Alas, to the pregnant neighbors that means doctors at hand, and her water breaks...
6She's the One
11 Apr 1997Description ▼
J.T. claims like Rich cars are men's business, till his is repaired -actually just diagnosed wrong gear- by foxy mechanic Samantha 'Sam' Milano. It's love at first sight, sealed by mutual interest sports. However Jean-Luc discovers the horny, otherwise so cocky youngster needs some coaching to engage in his first full-fledged love-affair... Meanwhile Karen's joy to be selected for a recording with her Country & Western idol Jimmy Ray Johnston ends in bitter disappointment...
18 Apr 1997Description ▼
When Frank forbids him to have a girl in his room or stay out after midnight, rules the 20 year-old screw-up finds no longer applicable, J.T. 'threatens' to move out- pa says he'll help pack, the girls do so in a jiffy. So J.T invites himself to move in with reluctant Jean-Luc, who finds he even invites Rich, who not only wears the Frenchman's expensive clothes but gets him furious by bagging on his caviar, not to mention the scummy scamps scare off his classier date. So he makes sure the home-invaders are pretty uncomfortable, till they run for their hides, back to the easier parental regime. Only J.T. still wants to move out, but lands in a freezing rat-hole, unfit to receive Sam in. Frank reconsiders... Carol is hell-bent on spending quality time with her girls, who shun that like the plague, but expertly tricks them and makes it even worse by dragging them to a karaoke bar of all places, and actually on stage...
25 Apr 1997Description ▼
J.T. thinks his living alone dream is complete when he gets Rich to move in and share the rent, but when they say dad can no longer tell them, tenants, what to do, he decides to play real world, and takes the part of 'landlord Mr. Lambert, Sir' so serious they would have been better off asking an extension from Scrooge himself after spending part of their rent budget on a non-refundable satellite dish. In fact, when the boys think their eviction is over after endless begging in the cold, rainy weather, the nightmare gets worse back in their flat... Meanwhile Jean-Luc spoils Lilly rotten, spending a fortune on every toy she craves, even a pony. When Carol discovers that's to compensate having to miss daughter Dani under his divorce custody settlement, she shows parental solidarity...
02 May 1997Description ▼
Frank is in full midlife crisis, desperately trying to be young again, as if adolescent in the rock era. He could have spared everyone these desperate efforts of rejuvenation to stay attractive for Carol, as she makes clear... J.T. is young and poor, so he raids dad's fridge, and so is Rich, who can't afford the kind of present he'd like to buy for Dana's birthday. Instead he has a romantic idea, give her an LP of 'their song' and one even J.T. knows to spell romantic disaster: recycle a pendant an ex threw back at him. It gets worse when she notices, unlike Rich, it's a locket, so he didn't remove her picture. Now he's down as deep as possible in the unforgiving girls' esteem, Rich gathers the courage for a really romantic declaration of love...
10How the West Was Won
09 May 1997Description ▼
Tired of having to 'play sheriff' when the kids fail to do any chores or practice house hygiene, Frank dozes off with a western and imagines being a Wild West sheriff gone to the dogs so he wakes up in his own jail, while Black Bart Rieupeyroux could take over and turn the town fatally French and will marry his beloved, madam Miss Kitty, unless he can clean up his act and clean the town Happy Valley...
16 May 1997Description ▼
When Dana belittles Carol's job, notably supervising a six year-old's birthday party, they bet $50 Barky can't do it without screaming for adult help, and soon finds her Nazi methods barely can control lover-boy Rich; then Frank finds... At home, Jean-Luc brags to the other kids about a celebrity client at his salon, but all his 'inadverted' hints fail to make them guess, so they come along and meet Fabio, an instant hit with the girls.
23 May 1997Description ▼
Mark makes the other horny hounds drool when he tells he has a date with hot Alana Mills, so J.T. and Rich leave him their garage apartment for the occasion, but when she really wants to reward his homework physically, he pulls back as it's too fast. Once the other boys find out, he's officially branded the worst geek and hides in his locker, till Frank gets him out and a less dense girl asks the last gentleman in school out... Al couldn't imagine Cameron dumped her for another girl which has inferior looks in every department- oops, except lips, so she raids her credit for a collagen injection, but overspends and overdoes.
13The Big Date
30 May 1997Description ▼
J.T. and Rich take Sam and Dana to Chicago, so Carol is worried sick they will end up in hotel-rooms per couple, not gender-grouped, Frank feels confident even J.T. knows the right thing. In fact it's the girls who say it's not to be yet, to their boys' frustration... Meanwhile Al dates Drew, who she liked over the phone, but turns out to be fat as a rhino and nearly as aggressive, yet they find each-other interesting, maybe even enough to brave shallow third parties' ridicule.
06 Jun 1997Description ▼
When Rich and Dana attend a wedding, they meet assistant diner manager Scott and his wife who gave up her law career to raise their baby. When barky catches the bouquet, that gives each a nightmare: her about being barefoot and pregnant for life, him about being a lavishly kept but neglected husband... Meanwhile Frank and Jean-Luc try a neighbor's home-made remedy for a bad cold, based on juniper berries; neither realizes that spells pure gin...
15Show Me the Money
13 Jun 1997Description ▼
J.T. and Rich are proud and happy to be hockey captain Eric Barnes's agents, hoping his pro contract will make their 10% a fortune. Meanwhile they are his happily devoted slaves for all chores, even getting him dates, notably Karen on three days of the week, Julie Manson on three other days. Only Karen starts loving the studly sports star... Jean-Luc takes an instant dislike to Frank's Lambert Construction bowling partner Moose, so Karen dares them to a duel against the hairdressers, with weird stakes in kind.
16It Didn't Happen One Night
20 Jun 1997Description ▼
Karen was confident to seduce school jock stud Kyle McCormick, but he says her perfume reminds him of his mother and asks Al out, who bags on his fully equipped 'love-mobile', yet afterward he brags about his 'conquest' as usual; a friend suggest to Al she's just 'too easy', indeed her new reputation attracts jocks and even chess club geeks... Jean-Luc feels Frank and Rich's love for watching sports glues them to the TV at Carol and Dana's expense, so he decides to coach their love-life back on track romantically...
27 Jun 1997Description ▼
Karen goes to the library and meets triplets Ted, Tim and Tom, but who should she choose, if it all? J.T. takes it well that his girlfriend Sam wins at mini-golf and some other games, but Rich says he's shaming the male gender and when she does it again at pool convinces J.T. to look for something he can beat her at. After J.T. fails embarrassingly at the Macho-meter (a grip strength test), burly Chuck pushes him away and Sam knocks the brute off her darling; that gives him nightmares about being her sissy bride... Jean-Luc promises to stay with Lily when she gets an injection, but the doctor notices a cut from a can, meaning he needs a tetanus shot himself...
04 Jul 1997Description ▼
JT is ok with Sam not being able to go out with him because she has dinner plans with Jamie, who JT thinks is Sam's girl friend. But when he finds out that Jamie is a male co-worker, he become jealous, especially when he meets him and all his sisters are throwing themselves at him. Rich advises JT to be cool about it. Sam asks JT if he is ok with her going out and JT says he is cool. The next day he goes to Sam to find out how her "date" went. She tells him it wasn't a "date" but the next thing JT discovers is far worse than he could have imagined. Jamie is going to move in with Sam since they are both having financial problems. JT forbids this and gives Sam an ultimatum-- Jamie leaves or he leaves. Sam shows him the door. When JT comes back at a later date to apologize (with many many flowers), he over hears Jamie making out with a women who he thinks is Sam, and he breaks down the door only to find Jamie is with his girl friend, Melissa. It turns out Melissa has moved in with Sam because she didn't like the idea of Jamie living with Sam either. JT and Sam make up with JT agreeing he would learn to trust Sam. In the other story, Carol has loaned Jean-Luc $1,000 because he owes taxes. Frank is not happy with this because it is money they were planning to spend on a weekend get away. Carol is experiencing stress and a stiff neck over the prospects of Jean-Luc paying her back, which Frank won't let her forget. But good news seems to occur when Jean-Luc tells her that he just won $1,000 a scratch off lottery game, only to tell Frank and Carol that he will be taking Babette on a weekend get away to the same place they were going to go. Later Carol is now in a neck brace because she is in more stress over Jean-Luc spending all that money on Babette instead of paying her back. She confronts Jean-Luc about the situation and he apologizes not realizing how she was feeling. He gives Carol the reservation he has at the hotel he was to go away. All is well with the two of them
19The Facts of Life
11 Jul 1997
18 Jul 1997
21Walk Like a Man
25 Jul 1997
01 Aug 1997
23The Kissing Game
08 Aug 1997
15 Aug 1997Description ▼
J.T. has a hot date or a party, but can't dance, and lessons from the girls prove hopeless. Jean-Luc takes over and teaches him how to parade like a peacock's mating dance. Frank just manages self-control when Carol, or actually Jean-Luc by accident, tells him the domestic chores he's burdened with for days may last months or years while the hair salon is started. But finding she pinched his comfort food cookies is just too much.
1Making the Grade
19 Sep 1997
2A Star Is Born
26 Sep 1997Description ▼
A movie producer is shooting a movie scene in Port Washington, and is scouring the local talent pool for someone to play the part of the waitress. Dana, Karen and Al audition for the role. While Dana and Karen are good, Al blows everyone away with her natural knack for acting. Al eventually realizes she's good at something other than being an awesomely beautiful tomboy and decides she's ready for Hollywood. Frank manages to persuade Al to finish her senior year of high school first (and join the drama club in the meantime, to hone her talents).
3Your Cheatin' Heart
03 Oct 1997
4Take This Job and Shove It
10 Oct 1997
17 Oct 1997
6Can't Buy Me Love
24 Oct 1997
31 Oct 1997Description ▼
It's Halloween and the kids are all ready for a party. When the venue suddenly become unavailable, they decide to move the party to an old house that Frank is about to demolish. JT and Sam are having relationship troubles which become exposed during the party. JT gets some advice from a mysterious girl. Meanwhile, Lilly is having her first Halloween party in the Lambert house. It turns out that she is scared of monsters.
8Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
07 Nov 1997Description ▼
An old best friend Rich's, who happens to be a girl, returns to Port Washington. Dana becomes concerned and a little jealous when Rich seems to have a lot more fun with her. She turns to JT for help to make her more fun. Frank's cousin is passing through town and calls in. Frank does not like him because of his past misdemeanours but he charms the others.
9Goodbye, Mr. Chip
05 Dec 1997
10Too Many Santas
19 Dec 1997
09 Jan 1998
12Goin' to the Chapel
16 Jan 1998
13Feet of Clay
23 Jan 1998
14Pain in the Class
30 Jan 1998
15The Half Monty
27 Feb 1998
16And Justice for Some
05 Jun 1998
12 Jun 1998Description ▼
Al is cast as an understudy in an upcoming community theater production, but - believing she deserved a larger role - refuses to learn her lines. This makes for huge problems when the star falls ill, and Al takes the stage grossly under-prepared.
18We're in the Money
19 Jun 1998Description ▼
After being gone for over a year, Cody returns. He brings gifts for everyone, including a necklace for J.T. which makes him irresistible towards women, and a check for Frank and Carol worth $50,000. Frank spends over $4500 on a chair and is forced by Carol to sleep in the living room. Cody feels terrible and eventually gets Frank and Carol to make up.
19Movin' on Up
26 Jun 1998
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