1Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
2The Camera in the Potato
5Enter Denise
René and monsieur Leclerq have been captured by the communist resistance. The leader of the group turns out to be Denise Laroque, an old sweetheart of René. Because of this, René and Leclerq won't be killed, but René has to marry Denise. Meanwhile the British airmen have had it with hiding at Cafe René and try to surrender to Germans so they can get into a proper prisoner of war camp.
6A Marriage of Inconvenience
7Post-Matrimonial Depression
Because of the precautions taken by Edith and Yvette & Mimi, René hasn't married Denise Laroque. Now René is afraid Denise wants to kill him and tries - while being disguised as his own father - to find a place to hide. The colonel and the captain tell him they can't help him but the colonel decides a disguised Helga should protect him because René is the only one who knows where the paintings are. Meanwhile, the British airmen are still trying to find a way out of their never changing status quo of being stuck at Cafe René's.
10Michelles Secret Love
General Von Klinkerhoffen asks Von Strohm and Gruber who knew about the meeting of the generals where someone tried to poison them. When Von Strohm tells him René knew about it, Von Klinkerhoffen tells them to catch and execute René. Herr Flick however, thinks the big-nosed French collaborating general had something to do with the plot to poison the generals and tries to find him. Meanwhile, René wants to quit the resistance and gets several disguises he can use to avoid being caught.
11The British Invasion
General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to continue the meeting of the Generals, but because he thinks the Communist Resistance might want to blow them up, he has planned for a group of peasants to be dressed up like generals and come together at the town square while the generals - disguised as onion sellers - will meet at the café. A new group of shot down British airmen will also come to the café, also disguised as onion sellers. Meanwhile, Herr Flick is recovering in traction and Leclerc and Madame Fanny are going out for a walk.
12Parade of Prams
Because Berlin blames him for the cock-up concerning the meeting of the German generals, general Von Klinkerhoffen decides to send colonel Von Strohm and Gruber to the Russian front. Von Strohm and Gruber want to flee to the Vatican and hide out there until the war is over. For this, they need to sell the paintings that are hidden in the headquarters of the Communist Resistance. They tell René to get the paintings. When Michelle of the resistance hears of this, she tells René to get the paintings, give copies to the colonel and Gruber and sell the originals for the resistance funds.
13The Bank Job
The Communist Resistance has captured Von Strohm, Gruber, Bertorelli and his men. René (still disguised as a Franciscian vicar) has given them the copies of the paintings - which they think are the real ones - and convinces the communists not to shoot them, but ask ransom for them. The communists let René and Leclerq go and decide to keep Mini (who's still disguised as a baby, with the original paintings in her nappies). It turns out general Von Klinkerhoffen won't pay the ransom and Michelle suggests robbing the town bank in order to pay the ransom and get Von Strohm, Gruber, Bertorelli, Mimi and, most important, the paintings back safe and sound.
14Communists in the Cupboard
Herr Flick tells Helga the money that was stolen from the bank was his and he suspects General von Klinkerhoffen has stolen it. Michelle tells René and the others the stolen money will not be used to safe Mimi and the Germans but it will be split amongst them. When officer Crabtree tells them the money was from the Gestapo, it ends up in René's trousers. Meanwhile, René has found a way to improve Edith's performance.
15Forged Francs & Fishsellers
When feeding the long distance duck, René sees she has given birth to a group of ducklings. Nevertheless, Michelle orders René to launch the duck. Gruber, colonel Von Strohm, Helga and captain Bertorelli are dividing the money that was stolen from the bank and Herr Flick - who owned the stolen money - is ordered by his uncle Heinrich Himmler to find the money again, even though it was forged money. Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen start selling fish in the town square hoping somebody will pay with the forged money so they can arrest and interrogate this person. Meanwhile, hearty eaters Denise Laroque and Louise are still hiding at Cafe René.
16The Exploding Bedpan
After his arrest, monsieur Alphonse is in the hands of the Gestapo and will be interrogated. Colonel Von Strohm and Gruber fear he might talk and give them away and give René a suicide pill to go in a pastry. In the headquarters of Herr Flick, Helga tells monsieur Alphonse she's on his side because she also has some of the forged money. However, when she shows him where she has hidden the money, monsieur Alphonse has a heart attack.
17Feathers
Herr Flick tells Helga the stolen Gestapo money was false. When she tells this to the colonel he tells Bertorelli to get it back to René. What Bertorelli doesn't know is that Von Strohm anonymously called Herr Flick to say a man with feathers on his hat has the stolen money and is on his way to Cafe René. Michelle has a new plan to get the British airmen back to England; they'll be put in two emptied land mines and dropped over England. They then need to 'unscrew their nuts' and land safely using their parachutes. The parachutes will be brought by monsieur Leclerq, who'll be disguised as a pillow-stuffer. Meanwhile, the communist girls leave Cafe René.
18Leclerc Against the Wall
Herr Flick has arrested monsieur Leclerc because he thinks he has the stolen money. When it turns out he hasn't got the money, Herr Flick announces Leclerc will be shot if the money won't be returned. Unfortunately, Madame Fanny has burned the money - that was kept in the oven - when trying to cook a potato, which actually was the spy camera that was to be used to photograph the invasion of England plans. Meanwhile, Von Strohm has found out about the two missing land mines and tells Gruber to talk to René, in case he might know anything about them.
19Christmas Puddings
The resistance has found out that the Germans are planning to commandeer the pudding factory where the resistance had hidden the 1,000 kilo of explosives from the land mines. Because they don't want the Germans to have the explosives, the 1,000 kilo will be brought to Café René, disguised as 500 Christmas puddings. Meanwhile, General Von Klinkerhoffen has ordered colonel Von Strohm and Gruber to find the stolen land mines and Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen (both in disguise) try to spy on the back room of Café René from the local church.
20Mines Away!
While he was in the bell tower of the church, Herr Flick saw the two stolen land mines in the Butcher's Yard next to Café René. When he and Von Smallhausen find out they are empty, they both hide inside them in order to catch resistance members when they come to transport the mines. Meanwhile, Helga told the colonel and Gruber the whereabouts of the land mines and the colonel - not knowing the mines are empty and harmless and Flick and Von Smallhausen are in them - orders Bertorelli and his men to move the land mines to the German air base. After finding out about this, Michelle comes up with a plan to get the British airmen into the mines and back to England.
21All Aboard
Michelle once again has a new and totally absurd plan to get the British airmen back home and René has had it: He secretly plans to take the train to Switzerland with Yvette and the paintings. Unfortunately Helga tells René to give colonel Von Strohm the paintings because Hitler himself wants the paintings and has send an art expert to verify their authenticity.
22The Geneva Express
On the Geneva Express René tries to avoid Edith and convinces Mimi to aboard the train. The colonel and Helga replace the original paintings by copies and Herr Flick - not knowing of this switch - replaces the copies by... other copies. Yvette and Leclerc also show up on the train. Yvette has found out René wanted to elope with her and Leclerc has come aboard to warn René the Resistance will blow up the train!
23Enigma
Colonel von Strohm wants the two paintings that are hidden in a statue at the château. He tells René and the staff of the café to pretend to be the Excelsior Quartet who are scheduled to play at the château and at the right moment steal the paintings out of the statue. The resistance also wants them to steal something, namely the Enigma machine the Germans recently acquired. Mimi, hidden in the double bass case, will take care of this. Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen are also going to the château disguised as serving maids because Herr Flick thinks some of the guests might be involved in the plot to blow up Hitler.
24Renewing the Vows
Monsieur Alphonse has asked Edith to marry him. When René hears about this and figures he'll lose the café and everything in it (notably the gold in the cuckoo's clock), he decides to ask Edith to marry him and she says yes. Bertorelli will cook a great feast and monsieur Alphonse, being the deputy mayor, will marry them. Meanwhile, general Von Klinkerhoffen suspects colonel Von Strohm of stealing his gold while Herr Flick thinks it was René who took the gold. Herr Flick tells Helga to use her feminine charm to elicit the whereabouts of the gold from René.
25The Big Flush
A plan to flee to Geneva René and Yvette made will have to wait because general Von Klinkerhoffen - in order to find the stolen Enigma machine - has decided no one is to leave the town or they'll be shot. Michelle, who is disguised as a pregnant woman in order to fool the Germans, delivers René the Enigma machine and tells him to put it in a wine barrel and throw it in the sewer. The whole population of Nouvion will flush the toilet at the same time which will enable the barrel to reach the canal where a British submarine is waiting for the Enigma machine.
26Enigmas End
General Von Klinkerhoffen orders that René is to be shot if the Enigma machine isn't found. Because he thinks he might warn René, colonel Von Strohm orders Gruber to take of his uniform so he won't leave Von Strohm's office. Nevertheless, Gruber takes Helga's uniform and goes to René. Meanwhile, British Intelligence and the Resistance have thought up a plan to get two experts to Nouvion to look at the Enigma machine. They will be disguised as policemen.
1Renes Ghost
While René is preparing to visit the empty grave of his fake dead twin brother, he is told by Michelle when to go because the Resistance is building a communication center in the grave to be able to contact London since the Germans jam the original radio station. Gruber, still not over the fact that it was he who shot René's twin brother, decides, after finding out René is going to the grave, to also go the grave, along with Helga. Meanwhile, Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen have a plan to find the headquarters of the Resistance: They will disguise themselves as shot-down British airmen and expect to be taken to the headquarters without any trouble. Madame Fanny has found a new love in Ernest Leclerc, brother of Roger Leclerc.
2Its Raining Italians
René and Michelle learn about the plan of the Gestapo to find the headquarters of the Resistance by disguising themselves as British airmen. The Resistance decides to take the bait and plan to lock Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen up, with the help of Officer Crabtree, René and his whole staff, all in disguise. Meanwhile, Von Klinkerhoffen also heard about the plan of the Gestapo and can't stand the thought of the Gestapo succeeding where he has failed and tells Bertorelli his men will also pretend to be shot-down British airmen in order to find out where the headquarters of the Resistance is.
3The Goose and the Submarine
Because they were disguised as British airmen, Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen have been captured and are taken to Von Klinkerhoffen who asks a description of the Resistance members. When Von Klinkerhoffen doesn't believe the description Flick and Von Smallhausen give, he demands Helga to marry Herr Flick so she can keep an eye on him because he doesn't trust Flick one bit. Meanwhile, the British airmen are finally going into the canal to go to the submarine that's waiting for them.
4Rescuing the Airmen
After the plan with the submarine went awry, the British airmen have been captured by the Germans and have been locked in a cell in the château. They'll be transported to Berlin the next day. Gruber gives René the keys to the château and the cell to rescue the airmen because his name could be dropped if the airmen start talking while interrogated. Michelle thinks up a plan involving coffins to rescue the airmen and Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen also think up a plan, involving disguising themselves, to get their hands on the airmen.
6The Fence
Herr Flick is worried about his career in the Gestapo after all the recent cock-ups and feels he has to flee. For this he needs money and he demands René to give him the painting so he can sell it. Von Strohm, Gruber, Helga and Bertorelli also want the painting back and sell it because the escape of the airmen has made them nervous about their futures too. Meanwhile, Crabtree is reunited with an old love!
7Fannys Wedding
General Von Klinkerhoffen is furious about the escape of the British airmen and announces he'll blow up the whole of Nouvion in 48 hours if the airmen are not in the hands of to the Germans by then. Herr Flick finds out about this and, because it'll take him months to make enemies in a new town, orders Von Smallhausen to dismantle the bombs. Michelle also hears about Von Klinkerhoffen's plan but still wants the airmen back to England. Her plan is to get them back by barrage balloon. Because a big barrage balloon might cause suspicion from the Germans, Madame Fanny and Ernest Leclerc need to wed so a marquee can cover the balloon.
8The Flying Bed
Because they think he's gone round the twist, the Germans call General Von Flockenstoffen to deal with Von Klinkerhoffen who still wants to blow up the whole of Nouvion. Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen try to disarm the bomb in the sewer while an old flame of René has her own plan to stop the Germans from blowing up the town. Meanwhile, Ernest Leclerc and madame Fanny have just been wed and in the marquee the celebrations have started while the Resistance girls are secretly working on the barrage balloon that should get the British airmen back to England.
1Von Flockenstuffen in Command
Now that General Von Klinkerhoffen is in the hospital, General Von Flockenstuffen is in command. He wants to redecorate Von Strohm's office and doesn't make himself very popular with Von Strohm, Helga and Bertorelli. Gruber however, likes him and gets to help in the redecoration. Meanwhile, madame Fanny and Ernest Leclerc have been arrested for stealing a motor bike and smashing through a German road block. Herr Flick thinks the old couple might have information about the British airmen and orders Von Smallhausen to commit a minor crime so he can be arrested and put in a cell with them in order to find out what they know.
3Eloping to England
René is going to be given the collaboration medal by the Germans. If he accepts it, the resistance will have him shot. If he doesn't, the Germans will have him shot. Therefore he plans to go to England with Yvette, instead of the two British airmen, Fairfax and Carstairs.
4Hello Hans
Instead of with Yvette, René finds himself on a plane to London with Edith. In London René and Edith come across captain Hans Geering, who now works for the English. René wants to stay in England for the rest of the war while Edith wants to go back to look after the café.
5Lines of Communication
Maddened by anti-Nazi propaganda he found in the town, general Von Klinkerhoffen decides to restart publishing the local newspaper. It should be filled with Nazi propaganda and René should be the editor-in-chief. To show the human side of the Germans, it is decided there should be a photo in the paper where the Germans and the occupied peasants are shown having a good time together. Meanwhile, Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen (freed from the monastery by Helga) are short of cash.
6The Spirit of Nouvion
Michelle tells René, Edith and Mimi the Resistance is short of cash and Mimi tells her about the painting of the Fallen Madonna Herr Flick has in his safe. Michelle decides they'll try to steal it. After Herr Flick told Helga he doesn't want to have anything to do with her anymore (something that was decided by his godfather Heinrich Himmler), she, the colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli also plan to steal the painting. Meanwhile, the local paper, run by René, has a 'Spirit of Nouvion' contest and Edith, Michelle and Mimi all feel they are the true spirit of Nouvion.
1A Bun in the Oven
Two years have elapsed and it is now September 1943. The airmen have escaped to England and Bertorelli and the Italian troops have withdrawn. Rene's hopes for peace and quiet are,however,dashed as Yvette announces her pregnancy. With the war now seeming to turn against Germany, Von Klinkerhoffen considers assassinating Hitler. Gruber and Von Strohm hope to sell the original painting,sell it and flee to Spain so they get Helga to steal it. To ensure her cut when the sale goes ahead she 'removes' one of the Fallen Madonna's boobies as her insurance.
4Hitlers Last Heil
Because she is pregnant with his child, Yvette talks René into trying to arrange a marriage. Michelle hears Hitler and Göring will come to Nouvion and plans to blow them up. What Michelle doesn't know, is that they aren't the real Hitler and Göring. Herr Flick, still in jail with Von Smallhausen, waiting to get executed, tells Helga he knows Von Strohm and Gruber robbed the pay truck and that he will tell the general this unless they rescue him. A plan is thought up: Helga, disguised as a nun, will bring Herr Flick a stick of dynamite, disguised as a knackwurst. And to think all of this is happening at René's birthday!
5Awful Wedded Wife
Gruber is worried about the compromising photo of him with the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies the Resistance has and, with the colonel, decides to make a down payment on the ransom they demanded. Helga is still trying to rescue Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen using yet another disguise. Meanwhile, lead is needed for the battery of the mobile radio station and Yvette, Mimi, officer Crabtree and monsieur Alphonse go to the church in disguise to steal some lead from the roof. Gruber and the colonel have to play Hitler and Göring once more and end up being captured by the communist Resistance.
6Firing Squashed
Gruber and the colonel are still disguised as Hitler and Göring and are still being hold by the Communist Resistance. Michelle finds out about this and (because she, like the communists, doesn't know it are not really Hitler and Göring) decides to kidnap them so the French Resistance will get the honor of ending the war. Meanwhile, Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen are about to face the firing squad for robbing the German pay truck.
7A Fistful of Francs
Colonel Von Strohm and Gruber agree to pay the ransom the Resistance ordered them to pay via a dogfish. They put the ten million francs in the dogfish and go to the river where the dogfish is to be exchanged for the incriminating photo. The dogfish however doesn't end up in the hands of the Resistance and the colonel and Gruber still don't have the photo. Meanwhile, general Von Klinkerhoffen has ordered René and Edith to dress up as Hitler and Göring pretending to leave town because he plans to catch any Resistance group that tries to attack them.
8Swan Song
René and Edith get rescued from being shot by general Von Karzibrot by British troops. However, the British think they are Hitler and Göring and arrest them. Meanwhile, everybody thinks René and Edith are death. Michelle takes over the café while madame Fanny and Leclerc run off to Paris in René's old ice cream car. Colonel Von Strohm and Gruber want to flee to Spain because the Resistance will sent the photo of Gruber with the painting to general Von Klinkerhoffen. Before they go, they plan to swap the painting for the ten million francs Herr Flick found in a dogfish Von Smallhausen made for dinner.
1Fighting with Windmills
Colonel Von Strohm and Gruber have failed to escape to Spain and come back to café René. Edith thinks up a plan for them to make general Von Klinkerhoffen believe they had been kipnapped by the Resistance: They are to hide in the old windmill in order to fake their kidnapping. Unfortunately, general Von Klinkerhoffen has planned target practices using the windmill as target. Meanwhile, Herr Flick has had plastic surgery so he can flee to Argentina when the war is over.
2Missing and Presumed Dead
René is kept by the communist Resistance as a love slave in their underground hide-out in the forest. Meanwhile, everybody thinks René has died in the windmill explosion. Everybody is very saddened and officer Crabtree comes up with the idea to erect a statue in memory of René. The colonel and Gruber, when visiting the café to find out where the painting is and express their sympathy, agree to pay for the statue. Meanwhile, Herr Flick takes of the bandages and reveals his new face while René tries to escape from the Resistance.
3René Artois Is Still Dead
René is back home and Michelle tells him that, with the Germans thinking he's dead, she has planned for him to go to England to help the British win the war. When this plan is postponed, René hides out in the museum where his shoes and beret (which is all that is believed to be left of him after the windmill explosion) will soon be exhibited. Meanwhile, Herr Flick, just like colonel Von Strohm, still wants to know where the painting is and invites madame Edith over for tea. Madame Fanny and monsieur Leclerc return from Paris.
4The Fishmonger Float
Herr Flick has a plan to find the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies: He and Von Smallhausen will kidnap Yvette and Mimi, dress up like them, take their keys and go to the café in order to find the painting. General Von Klinkerhoffen tells the colonel and Gruber he's planning to blow up Hitler. He'll send the Führer the painting in an explosive list which will blow him up. Because they don't actually have the painting, former forger monsieur Leclerc will paint it, with Helga posing as the Fallen Madonna. Michelle has an important microfilm that should get to England by homing pigeon.
5A Fishy Sendoff
Monsieur Alphonse has started working on the statue of René. Meanwhile, the final preparations for the parade to the coast (a cover in order to be able to get German plans in British hands) are made. General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to talk with the colonel and Gruber about the details concerning the plot to blow up Hilter. To make sure they aren't overheard, they'll discuss the plans during a game of golf. Eavesdropping Helga tells Herr Flick they're going golfing to discuss something important and Herr Flick decides to go, with Von Smallhausen and Helga, to the golf course to find out what they'll be discussing.
6A Winkle in Time
Rene and the Cafe staff prepare to welcome the invading British troops, and soon find that the invasion party includes a couple of old friends. Lieutenant Gruber and the Colonel are ordered by the General to stay and fight the invaders, rather than surrender. However, seeing as their defeat is almost certain, the two German officers decide to go AWOL, disguised in stolen British uniforms. The second half of the episode is set many years after the war ends. Gruber, the Colonel and Helga, now private German citizens, return to their old French garrison in search of the old friends they made there.
